RV - Bad Habits Keeping Men Weak (Brutal Truth) [0:00:00]
Now, gents, I take it, you’ve seen the ads for this video game, Hero Wars.
They’re all over YouTube.
Now, as a guy that studied marketing in business school, I have to say that these ads are genius.
How they get you is they purposely show somebody going through making bad decisions and I know,
I’m watching this thinking, “Oh, my gosh, what are you doing?
Go that way, not this way.”
And, yeah, I want to jump in there and play.
Seriously, I just want to download this app because I’m tired of seeing the monsters
kick this guy’s ass and I mean, it looks easy and therein lies the problem.
Me, and countless other guys are being drawn into a quest that has no effect on our actual
lives.
No, I take that back.
It is having an effect, a negative effect on your life.
It’s distracting you from dealing with the real issues in your life.
On top of that, with in-app purchases, guys, are doubly paying, not only giving up their
time, but paying money for this addiction that they let into their house.
Now, gents, I know, there are some benefits to gaming.
I’ve read the studies paid for by the gaming industry.
But, seriously, yes, I have seen my introverted son actually connect better with his cousins
through games.
To this day, I still have fond memories of spending 30 days straight before I was able
to conquer the Legends of Zelda with the help of Nintendo power.
But, those benefits can easily be outweighed by the negatives if you get addicted, if you
find that you can’t even get up from the game.
And that’s why, gents, I’m starting this list off with video game addiction as one
of the habits that is keeping men weak.
Now, again, gents, I know a lot of you guys love gaming, so I don’t want to beat up
on that one too much.
But, I do think it’s interesting that video games and gaming aka gambling, how they’re
actually converging and we’re actually seeing it’s hard to separate the line between the
two.
And it’s interesting I think where the future is going with this, but be careful of the
addiction.
Whether it’s gambling, whether it is video games, understand they’re using a lot of
the same mechanisms to suck you in.
Most likely if you’re watching this channel, if you’re looking to become the man you
know yourself to be, you know that you’ve got things you need to do.
And that is another bad habit that we develop.
We procrastinate on doing the things that are going to make a difference in our lives.
Now, I know what works for me is journaling and writing out my priorities.
And the reality is only half of the days of the week do I actually find time to do this,
but when I do it, it’s incredibly powerful.
So, as I go through, I write down everything I want to accomplish and that’s going to
be sometimes 10 to 15 things a day.
Now, 15 things, that’s a lot and so, I prioritize in what has to happen first and then, I focus
in on one thing.
And, gents, if you can do that, if you can write down what you want to accomplish and
then find the one thing that if you do this first, everything else is going to start to
fall into place, that is going to make all the difference.
Now, as I’m going through and writing down all the things I want to accomplish, one question
I like to ask myself is, what am I putting off that honestly if I got it done, it would
just be freaking awesome?
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The next bad habit that’s making a lot of men weak, let’s talk about your phone and
those apps on your phone.
We’re talking about Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, all the ones out there, yes, even BeReal.
The thing is is all of these apps if you’re not paying for them, gentlemen, you are the
product.
They’ve even said this.
You’ve got these behavioral scientists that are being hired by these companies to keep
you addicted to these apps, to keep you spending time here on YouTube.
Yes, I know, I’m a YouTuber saying this, but here’s the thing is you need to be checking
your screen time.
You can usually pull that information up on your phone, I think you’re going to be shocked
at how much time you’re spending on your phone.
It will show you exactly what apps.
[0:05:06] I did this with the teenagers in my house.
We lined out, okay, what are our goals for the next year?
Okay, so, I’m like those are your goals, how are your phones going to help you achieve
that goal?
They really couldn’t line it up.
No, they’re not going to help that much.
And then, we look at the screen time.
When my kids saw that they were spending on average three to four hours a day on their
phones, all of a sudden we realized, okay, we need to make some adjustments because this
isn’t aligned with your goals.
I asked them what change could we make, we decided actually to keep the phones downstairs
past 8:00 o’clock at night.
We found that that one change actually shifted a lot of their behavior and cut their screen
time in half.
The next bad habit keeping you weak, your addiction to alcohol, drugs, fat, sugar, name
it.
Guys, there are something, salty foods, whatever it may be, you’ve got your vice.
I know for me, it is sugar and I’ve been trying to fast, cut things off.
It’s hard and I get it.
And for me, alcohol was also something that I loved.
I mean, thing is I had a few drinks, I was so attracted to the ladies, but I realized,
hey, I don’t want to put myself in danger.
I’ve got too much to lose, I’ve been in a great relationship with a woman that I love
and I don’t want to do stupid things when I had a few drinks.
So, find out what you’ve got.
If you’re putting on, you know, hey, you love your soda.
I used to love Coca Cola.
I really just cut all soft drinks out of my life because I realized, I think I saw a commercial.
It showed it was basically liquid fat that I was pouring down my body and I realized,
hey, I can cut this off, I just simply need to learn to taste, love the taste of water.
Add a little bit of lemon to it, maybe a little bit of flavor here or there.
But, you know, right now, again, the sugar addiction is something I’m working with.
Slowly I’m winning off.
And I find that I’m one of those people that I want to change the system.
I want to slowly make the change, so I almost don’t notice it.
I’m not a cold – are you a cold turkey kind of guy?
If you are, let me know in the comments.
But, once it becomes an addiction, once it becomes something you can’t do without it,
that’s when there is a problem.
I know for me, I found that I was drinking a lot of coffee, so I felt I was addicted
to caffeine.
So, I said, okay, can I go a full day without drinking coffee?
I made it one day.
Next thing I know, it’s two days, then it’s three days.
Then, I’m looking at coffee substitutes because I still was craving the taste of coffee,
but I didn’t want anything with caffeine.
So, I found some alternatives.
Guys, if you look out there, there are ways to overcome this.
Do you actually have the will power?
Do you have the ability mentally to overcome some of these things which are drawing you
in?
And speaking of controlling things, let’s talk about controlling your emotions.
Anyone that knows me personally for a long time always thinks, you know, Antonio, you’re
always very straight up.
I think Aaron Merino gives me a call all the time because he’s like, hey, you – you’re
just so even keel.
Aaron is kind of all over the place.
It’s his Italian heritage he says.
But, for me people that really know me know that, yes, I don’t really get too emotional
about things, but when I do, I explode.
I have anger issues.
It started when I was a kid and I would just take my favorite toys, maybe medals I would
win and I would destroy them.
I would go out there and just beat things up using baseball bats and I would just hit
things.
And I remember one time I hit – I hit this metal thing so hard, it bounced back and hit
me in the head, almost knock me out.
It didn’t teach me a lesson because throughout life, my wife has seen this a few times.
We have just gotten into arguments and I maybe took a book, you know, a page out of Steve
Carell’s book, I jumped out of the car one time.
Not the smartest thing, we’re only running about 20 miles an hour.
Point being is I’m like, I got to get out of here.
The other day, I couldn’t figure out the television.
I don’t know, it’s like we got all these remotes and I was just trying to watch something,
I had a tough day and I tore it and I broke it.
I mean, I still feel stupid.
I mean, this was just two months ago.
And I realized, you know why I did this?
Because I hadn’t gone to the gym for about four days and I had all these pent up energy
and I realized that for me to keep my emotions in check especially when things are high pressure
in the business, I’ve got multiple things going on, family, commitments all over the
place.
I know for me, that is my release, going to the gym, throwing the weights around, going
for a run, getting out there and maybe just, you know, going up and down the trails.
I find another way that helps me deal with my emotions is actually to unload and talk
to people that are open to hearing from me.
That’s why I’ve got a close group of about probably five to six guys I can call at any
one time on my phone and they’ll listen to me.
And I can talk about things going on in my life and usually I’m listening to them as
well.
I also find that removing myself from the situation as I described, you know, jumping
out of car, not recommended.
But, can you just simply get out of the house, go for a walk.
I find that I really try to bite my tongue before I say anything especially I’ve been
around my kids and they are just driving me nuts.
And I realized, it’s not really them, it’s probably all the other things that have happened
either that day, that week, and they are going to be the straw that breaks the camel’s
back.
I find that, hey, you know what?
I just need to get out of this situation.
My wife, she sees it when I’m kind of reaching this point and she says, hey, how about you
just get out of here.
How about you go for a drive?
How about maybe you want to go to the gun range, which, you know, may sound a little
bit dangerous to some of you guys.
But, I find that just simply going down and focusing on my breathing, putting lead down
range is just a great – it’s almost a mental exercise.
[0:10:08] I would love to hear from you guys, though,
down in the comments below, what are the ways that you control your emotions?
How do you keep everything in check?
How do you stop from, you know, being like a volcano when exploding?
The next bad habit that’s making a lot of men weak is that they avoid pain and suffering.
And here’s the thing is life is full of pain and suffering.
You just get to choose who you’re going to suffer it with.
And that’s one thing I love about the United States Marine Corps, I was surrounded by crazy
psychos.
This was like a cult religion, it wasn’t the military.
I mean, the army is the military.
The navy, you know, they are fleet.
The air force were the chair force.
The coasties, we love you guys.
But, Marine Corps, man, they’re just crazy.
They would throw us things to do and they would ask for more pain and suffering.
I remember [Lavoti] back on OCS.
The guy was just an inspiration because no matter what the DIs are throwing at you, he’d
be like, “Is there more?
Can you make me suffer?
Let’s make it hurt more.”
I mean, he’d be out there all night and, me, of course would join him because you kept
the whole unit together.
And, initially, I wanted to kick his ass a bit, then I realized it was all a mental game
because he would go until he’s exhausted.
The DIs won’t let us die, most of us.
And they are always like they would eventually have to break and he realized that if he could
do that, he could build up, I mean, to an extent.
But, if you understand that your mind is trying to protect your body, but your body is capable
of so much more.
Again, I showed this video the other day.
My son is going out first thing in the morning and he’s been doing this now for three weeks
doing these ice baths.
I’m not saying it’s for everybody, but the way he’s approaching this is to start
the day off with the hardest thing that you think he can do.
Yeah, it’s freezing outside, it’s zero degrees and he’s getting into freezing water.
He has to break the ice on and guess what?
The rest of his day is easy after this ice bath.
Now, right now, I’m not as adventurous as my son, I’m simply starting the day off
with a work out.
I have an accountability coach that I hired on the other side of the world that, hey,
she’s not having to wake up early, but I do not want to disappoint her.
So, every morning, I’m there at 6:00 and Jo is running me through a workout routine
of calisthenics, all types of crazy stuff she has me doing.
But, I feel great after that hour.
Well, you know, maybe not fully great.
But, I definitely am happy that I ran my body through this and it just makes the whole day
easier.
So, again, gents, I want to make this video a little bit interactive, I want to hear from
you down below, what do you go through, what some pain and suffering that you recommend
men experience to give them perspective?
Because, again, so many men are weak because they think spending an hour in line is the
end of the world.
Guys, I mean, if you haven’t really gone through true pain and suffering, if you haven’t
ran a marathon with, you know, a rock on your back, if you haven’t, you know, had to actually,
you know, see what it’s like to be homeless.
I’m not recommending you are.
But if you – to go through true pain and suffering, this is when you find out who you
truly are.
And, again, I think they call it the Misogi Challenge, I talked about this in another
video, which I will link to at the end of this one is actually, you know, doing something
once a year that is so difficult, you only have a 50/50 chance of actually getting through
this.
Now, you don’t want to die during this thing, but it’s going to be difficult.
Maybe it is something that you go out and you run a marathon that you haven’t trained
super well for.
You’re going to go out there and do a 50-mile rock march.
And, yes, that’s pretty long, but it’s doable, but you also could fail.
And, I think that even if you fall down, even if you aren’t able to accomplish, you still
look back, you know what?
I gave it my best shot and I’m going to work, I’m going to train, so that I can
try it again and this time, bust through.
Now, gents, if you’re enjoying today’s video a little bit more conversational tone,
do me a favor and smash the like button.
By doing this, let – you let the YouTube gods know that, hey, this video is worth sharing,
it’s one that, yeah, we should pass along to other guys.
The next bad habit that’s holding you back, putting people on pedestals, especially the
ladies.
So many of us, we see a beautiful woman and we can’t talk, we’re falling over ourselves.
Here’s the thing is she is a human being.
Once a day, she sits down on that pot and she takes care of business just like you.
You know, the thing is growing up, I think if you humanize people that way and you realize
that they are going to get old, that they have bad days, that even if she’s incredibly
beautiful, no, she’s not always going to have that physical beauty that, you know,
and what does that matter when you realize it was just something she happens to be born
with.
I think when you could overcome, stop putting people on pedestals especially me.
I know a lot of guys watch my videos, maybe you’re younger you’re thinking, Antonio,
you got your crap together.
Guys, you don’t know me well enough.
I make a lot of mistakes.
I have, you know, just this last year, I lost, you know, few hundred thousand dollars in
crypto.
Not the smartest thing.
You know, it’s like what – what -- that was money I should put in a more conservative
investment because that was for land and a house and I was very stupid to put it what
I thought an investment that, yes, that’s going to keep going up.
Just like everyone else, I’m human and I make mistakes.
[0:15:12] When you realize that the people you’re
looking up to are just as human as you, then you realize that you’re, you know, you’re
just as capable of accomplishing the things you see them accomplish.
You shouldn’t take everything they say as gospel.
You should take it with a grain of salt.
That woman that you are pursuing, you realize that she’s just like any other human being
out there.
Yes, she may physically be have some assets that make her very attractive to you at this
point, but life is so much more than that.
When you realize this, when you start to – you start to see beauty in other people, you start
to realize that everyone, you know, is a walking, you know, as bad as this, here, you know,
here’s the military man and we talk and it’s like everyone’s a walking meat bag
that, you know, could go down with one hit in the right place.
Not to say that, you know, kind of -- almost kind of crazy.
But, it reminds me of how delicate this life is and how careful you need to be.
I used to think I was invincible until I had to pick up pieces of a kid that, you know,
was going a 180 miles an hour in a motorcycle down, you know Interstate 5 outside of Pendleton.
And you realized that, no, we’re not.
And you stop putting people on these pedestals and you view them as a fellow human being.
And you start treating people with more respect.
You demand respect.
You don’t demand it, you just expect it and you don’t deal with people that do not
give you the basic respect that I think every single one of us need as a human being.
But, stop putting people on a pedestal.
We do this.
I have been guilty of it.
I remember in high school, there was a girl I was absolutely adored and fell in love with,
but it was one-dimensional.
She didn’t know my feelings and I put her on a pedestal.
She could do no wrong.
To this day, probably I can’t even imagine that she would ever, you know, fart or something
like that.
But, point being is understand that everyone, we’re on the same level, that no one deserves
special treatment, that everyone deserves the respect of another human being.
And, yeah, and all of a sudden, it becomes a lot easier.
So, what video to watch next?
Let’s talk about the mental health crisis that men are facing.
And I talk about the brutal truth that we need to talk about, that need to be addressed
with everything going on.
Guys, if you enjoyed this video, you are going to love this one.
This right -- video right here is I think one of my better videos I’ve made in the
last few years.
Check it out, it’s a good one.
[0:17:28] End of audio