I like cultural names cultural names are
really cool you know I don't have a
cultural name and Indian people for some
reason have a real tough time with this
but my real name is Russell Peters both
my parents are from India and that's the
name they gave me
Russell dominic look at you dumb
[ __ ] right there do you know
Indian history and all and all none you
don't you know I I can tell he doesn't
know Indian history the British were
there for 400 years you don't think they
[ __ ] one or two of us
if they could steal all our jewelry they
can bang one or two of us that's my real
name both my parents are from India and
they named me Russell dominic Peters
Dominic I got an Italian middle name
because my parents from that Italian
part of India Calcutta into that part
there that's it you have a problem with
my name talk to my parents
Eric and Maureen and my brother Julio if
I had an Indian name I'd wear it proudly
and I mean I don't have one if I had it
I would rock it very proudly what's your
name mr. India over there sorry I need
see that's a neat name
I need I need a pail nice
josè that's the equivalent right there
that's uh I need portal that's my
brother MSE Patel that's my big brother
Aslam do you know what your name means
nope so sure that this was in my name it
has no clue what's your name I don't
know what your name means either I know
what my name means Russell it sucks you
know what it means to make a noise it's
um it's a [ __ ] name it's a [ __ ] Joe what
do you want I like the Indian names I
think I think the Indian name is very
cool they have deep meanings to them
they have long history behind them
what's your name my little Sikh brother
right there what's your name
sorry prob joke I'm not prep child right
but is that that would just be rude I
guess at that point wouldn't that would
make his name Prem [ __ ] that's what his
name would have been prepped jolt lap
dog
good solid Indian name I like the Indian
names you know your name means wouldn't
see he knows what his name means hey
neat
what does it mean prepped God's essence
goddamn what's your sister's name Herbal
Essence what
sister smells great that's just her boo
her mojo
God's essence that's dope man I like the
name I think a lot of Indian names are
really cool but I think a lot of
cultural names are cool but if you're
gonna be you're gonna have a cultural
name and you're gonna move from another
country to America think about what that
name means in English before you move
here and I mean I think about how it's
gonna affect your life cuz some Indian
names are really good so many names are
really cool and they mean a lot but
they're really good in India when they
come here with those names
it just doesn't cross over very well I
met an Indian dude and you know this is
a real name cuz he was one of your
people I met an Indian guy I swear to
God
his real name was suck deep suck deep
could you imagine living your life with
a name like suck deep somebody's looking
for you one day hey yo man you suck deep
[Applause]
there's sometimes if I have to I don't
really like it over and obviously it's
not pronounced suck deep in my culture
you know what I mean
but if you were to read it that's how
you'd read it it's spelled su ke h de e
P the H doesn't help because now it
sounds even more suck deep
come here suck deep and I used to think
suck deep was like a funniest Indian had
ever heard and then a few months ago I
was in DC and I went this Indian dude
and I [ __ ] you not the guy's real name
was hard dick har dik hard dick who the
hell names the kid hard dick
hey come on hard to pull up your pants
stop that it's not nice
[Applause]
[Music]