Hi, I'm German and I bet you an airplane that when you sneeze, you close your eyes.
"Doctors"
2 things.
I cut my hair.
And the other thing.
I'm not in my house and I didn't bring my camera.
That's why I didn't upload a video last week.
And now finally I found a place where to film,
and a camera.
I'll be here for at least 2 weeks and then I'll go back home.
I miss my house.
Let's start with this week's topic.
Doctors.
What's a doctor?.
It's kinda like Dr. House but boring.
We've all been sick at least once.
Cold, fever,
Diarrhea.
Love, etc.
Being sick hurts.
Like love.
But the level of pain,
depends a lot of what day of the week it is.
Let's say that you get a cold.
If it's a saturday, it's like this:
Son aren't you a little bit too sick to go out?.
Dad I'm ok, it's just a cold.
Party!, party!.
But if you get sick a week day.
When you have to go to school.
I'm dying!, I see the light!.
The light!!.
Yeah.
In school, I had 70% of class attendance.
Because the resting 30%, I was sick.
"SICK"
At the end when you're very sick,
your mom takes you to a doctor.
I have a theory that doctors aren't human.
I mean, think about it.
First.
They speak a completely different language than we do.
If the doctor tells you it's not going to hurt.
It's going to hurt a lot.
And if he tells you it's gonna hurt a lot.
You're gonna die.
2.
Their handwriting.
Is it too serious?.
No, not at all, just take these pills
and you're gonna be feeling way better.
Thank you very much, I really appreciate it...
What the fuck does this say?!.
They have terrible handwriting.
It's like they all went to a University
in the Middle East or something.
And the other reason I think they're not human,
is because they don't understand simple expressions.
For example, if someone cries, they're sad.
If someone laughs, it's because they're happy.
And doctors don't understand that.
Tell me, does it hurt if I do this?.
No.
Ok, and if I do this?.
Did it hurt?.
No, why would you think that?.
Well, honestly, I hate going to the doctor.
Don't get me wrong.
I have nothing against doctors.
It's just that I'm not a big fan of
getting a shot in the ass.
So when I have to go to the doctor I get a bit nervous.
What you have is a virus that might be serious.
Please no vaccines, no shots.
It usually takes a month to go away by it's own.
I don't want to get a vaccine please no shots.
But in your case, the fastest and more advisable thing would be a shot.
Son of a...
So now I'm gonna ask you to get on the bed.
Hey look!, a 4 headed giraffe that poops ice cream!.
Where?!
You'll never catch me alive!!.
a bit afraid of needles.
If you're a person who's afraid of needles.
I'll help you.
If at your age you think a needle on your ass is bad.
Don't worry, when you're 40, it's gonna be way worse.
If you don't believe me, ask your doctor.
Hey doctor, what happens when I turn 40?.
Well, when you turn 40 I have to start checking your prostate.
It's a process done to maybe detect a possible cancer.
And I do this manually.
It's very simple.
Oh, very simple, I was worried.
No, nothing to worry about.
I just have to insert my finger on your anus.
See?.
And you thought a shot in the butt was bad.
"German Garmendia, ruining your life since 1990."
If you notice that I'm a little distracted,
it's because there's a damn spider that's been staring at me for like 10 minutes.
I'm gonna eat you.
Well, doctors, with time, have been losing...
"The spider moved".
With time, doctors have been losing respect.
Before, they used to be these men with extraordinary knowledge.
If the doctor said it, it must be true.
All parents wanted that their daughter married a doctor.
They were like gods.
And now.
Meh.
Thanks to technology, it's not like that anymore.
For example, if you get sick.
You don't ask a doctor.
You ask Wikipedia.
Well German, your exams indicate that you have Appendicitis.
We're gonna have to operate and take your appendix out.
Are you sure?.
Of course I'm sure.
Because I googled my symptoms and Wikipedia says
and it says it could be Lupus.
I've studied medicine for 25 years, I've cured thousands of people
And you're telling me that a website knows more than me?.
Who are you gonna believe?, a website or me?.
Website.
Bye!.
You completely ignore the doctor.
But when you go back in a month.
Doctor, I've been shot, please help me!.
Tell Wikipedia to help you!.
They're a bit resentful.
You have to understand, though.
They don't get the credit they deserve.
Nobody says "Thanks Doctor".
For example.
For example:
Let's say a doctor spends hours saving someone.
Scalpel.
Vital signs, all good.
Doctor, how's my husband!?.
I haven't slept all night.
But after spending 15 hours operating on your husband,
I've saved him.
Thank you!.
It's not necessary to thank me, it's just my job.
Thank god!.
I'm just doing my..
You took the credit away from me again!.
See?, no one says "thank doctor!".
They also have to be very patient.
I have a friend who goes to the doctor because he's overweighted.
And all he eats all day, are hamburgers.
Can you imagine being a doctor and have to save someone
that hurt themselves?.
Mr, Gutierrez, your exams say that you have Cancer.
Cancer, why?!
Why me?!!.
Question!.
If you could choose any career for a day,
what would you choose?.
I'd choose being a Bra adjuster.
Anyway.
This was this week's video, if you liked it please click thumbs up, down here.
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Well, I guess next week's video I'll also be making it right here.
I had a surprise but I'm going to have to wait until I get to my house to show it to you.
Oh well.
A gigantic psychological hug.
As always, thank for the support, your the best of the best.
And remember, if you're a guy and a girl friend tells you that they love you
it's cute, but if a guy friend tells you that, it's gay.
Bye bye!.
Technology has ruined.. fucking spider it's moving.
I got it, I got it.
stay still, stay still.
still.. still...
It's on my face!!.