In the past we've published many videos on toxic family dynamics, and some of you have requested
that we explore toxic sibling relationships.
Our goal is to spread awareness of family dysfunctions and make this difficult topic more approachable.
We know that many of our community members are young and may be experiencing domestic trouble.
If you're in a situation where you cannot leave your dysfunctional household just yet,
we pray for your safety and want you to know that you can receive help from professionals. In our description box below
we've provided some helpful resources that may come in handy such as the National Domestic Violence hotline.
Remember: your priority is to keep yourself safe. And these resources can help you do just that.
Here are 5 types of unhealthy sibling relationships.
One: the golden child and the scapegoat. These types of siblings often grow up with a parent who is either a narcissist,
sociopath or a psychopath.
The golden child is the parent's favorite because they mirror their values, beliefs and habits.
The parent thinks in black and white and considers this child the good one. Since the parent lacks empathy
themselves, the golden child does too. They were never yelled at nor punished for treating others with the same cruelty,
so they assume it's correct behavior.
Unlike the golden child the scapegoat learns to question the parent's black and white thinking,
refusing to follow their illusions. They may be quietly rebellious and seek perspectives other than what their parent enforces.
Consequently, the scapegoat is seen as the bad one in the parent's eyes.
The scapegoat learns to be empathetic because whenever they challenge the parent's thinking they are reprimanded and told to be more understanding,
while the golden child repeats the same toxic patterns as the parent just to get along, the scapegoat tends to break them and
searches for a more meaningful life after they leave the family.
Two: the royal brat and the wise owl. The royal brat is spoiled by the parents. They learn to get their way by being loud,
manipulative and stubborn. The parents usually give in to their tantrums and are more concerned with pleasing them and protecting them from
difficult emotions. Consequently, the royal brat never learns how to work through their impulses, anger nor sadness.
Meanwhile, the wise owl is the complete opposite of the royal brat. The wise owl is mature,
responsible and level-headed.
Since the royal brat always gets their way without having to lift a finger,
the wise owl has to achieve the same results through hard work.
The royal brat tries to take the easy way out by pushing the wise owl to do things for them.
But the wise owl refuses to yield.
Consequently, the royal brat gives the wise owl a hard time. Whether the royal brat lacks emotional maturity, the wise owl is
disciplined and reliable.
Three: the bully and the victim. This relationship is similar to that of a dominant parent and a submissive child
but happens in siblings instead. The bully in this scenario often has a challenging
relationship with a parent and feels like they have no control over anything.
So they learn to be a bully and take out their anger and frustrations on their sibling instead.
Usually their younger one who becomes the victim. The bully wants to come across as tough and
intimidating so they make the victim feel small and helpless by abusing them emotionally, verbally and/or physically.
Four: the addict and the enabler. This codependent type of relationship is propelled by an enabler
who acts as a caretaker for an impaired sibling who usually struggles with addiction or mental
illness. The enabler protects and takes responsibility
for their sibling because they feel like their relationship or even their lives will fall apart if they don't.
They often think they are looking out for them when they justify their actions, but in reality,
it's only hurting the addict in the long run when their problem isn't confronted.
Often the addict and enabler already have parents who play similar roles so they learn to mirror them.
Five: the ghost and the hungry child. The ghost is someone who is emotionally distant from their whole family in general.
They don't know how to cope with the chaos that happens every day behind closed doors, so they fade into the background.
Meanwhile, the hungry child always longs to get a little closer to the ghost. They lack love and support from the family as a whole
and yearn for someone to hold on to. The hungry child often hopes to find love from their sibling,
but in the end they're usually left with an empty void once again.
So, the hungry child searches for love elsewhere, outside their home.
Do you have a difficult relationship with your sibling? What other types of unhealthy sibling relationships
do you know of? Share your thoughts with us
and if you have a special topic requests
you'd like us to explore next, make sure to let us know in the comment section below. Also,
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we can reach more people to spread awareness on dysfunctional family dynamics and mental health issues.
Thanks for watching!