WHISPERS: Sorry.
When I show my scar, it's just a constant reminder of what's
happened and what I've been through.
This is a step out of my comfort zone.
It's definitely something that I never thought I'd do,
but I think sometimes you have to do things like that
and stretch your capabilities and sometimes do scary things.
I probably wouldn't have done this before cancer.
I feel, as a woman, losing a breast at a young age could be
totally life-stopping and life-altering.
I had a mastectomy about three and half years ago
and it's left two scars
and it's just, like, a constant reminder of a time
that I've been through which I'd rather forget
and it doesn't really look too pretty, I don't like the look of it.
So are you wanting something to just...?
Yeah, something to cover over it and look pretty and... Yeah,
something to take my mind off it. Yeah, OK. I'm really nervous today.
Are you? I'm excited, but very nervous.
Yeah, it's OK to be nervous. It's totally natural.
The only people that have seen my scars are the doctors,
consultants and my husband.
I don't do this very often.
I didn't ever think I would get cancer.
It was not really something that'd crossed my mind. I was young.
I thought I was quite healthy.
You know, I had quite a good lifestyle, I ate well.
I was quite active.
When I was diagnosed, I was extremely scared.
I didn't really understand what was going to happen
and what the future held.
I thought, erm, I was going to die.
You know, I didn't really understand cancer.
So it was just extremely scary.
With my mastectomy, I decided to have an implant.
To me, it felt really unnatural.
It sort of didn't look like a natural boob.
So I made the decision to have that removed last year,
so now I'm just flat on that side.
When I show my scars, it's just a constant reminder
of what's happened and what I've been through.
It's not something that I can change.
I can't grow a boob back,
you know, it's always going to be like it is now
and I've just got accept it and get on with it, really.
It's taken me nearly four years to try and feel like me again.
I think this bit is just a bit too wide. We could probably bring...
Cos this part will need to go down.
The design itself is really tricky because it has to flow, it has
to be feminine, but also Maia doesn't want something
that's really big.
Ooh! I'm really excited now. Yeah, you look a bit more excited
than nervous now that you've seen it. Yeah, cool.
I don't want to take it off. THEY LAUGH
Just, like, the thought of the scars actually, you know,
not being showable any more
and to see that instead, yeah, it's really exciting.
I think this is a massive deal,
so I think the apprehension is totally normal.
Something like this.
It sort of shows the...
I found the whole cancer journey just like being on a rollercoaster.
It was...
Like, there's so much happening to begin with, you know,
you're just doing as everyone's told you and recommended,
you know, you have all your treatment
and then you have a mastectomy and then radiotherapy
and it's constant hospital appointments and, erm...
..and then when it suddenly stops, it's really hard.
You're sort of...
Mental health-wise, it was just really, really hard.
You're sort of dropped off and left and supposed to just
get on with life and pick up the pieces and it's hard.
You kind of forget what life was like before
and I think you have to try and find
sort of the new you and the new way of life.
I suppose we always associate breasts with femininity as well,
so when you've had it taken away from you, not even by choice,
it sort of can make you feel that way, can't it?
I hope that it turns a negative into a positive
and it makes something that I don't really like to look at
into something that I love looking at
and I can admire.
Yeah, this is definitely a way for me to take ownership,
for me to say what's happening to my body, not for cancer to decide.
You're all done, Maia.
How do you feel?
Relieved. THEY LAUGH
You OK? Yeah.
Yeah?
Thank you for getting it done. Thank you. You're welcome.
Thanks.
It's so weird seeing it.
It's important for me to share my story
so that people don't feel alone.
Maia was smiling, which was really nice.
She wasn't trying to cover herself or hide, she was different.
That's crazy that that's actually there.
Feel really unreal.
Something I've never pictured myself doing ever, really,
and I'm pleased I have.
I could feel her emotions today.
I feel like today was a really big deal for her
and it sort of transferred over to me.
CAMERA CLICKS She didn't choose to have cancer,
she didn't choose to have chemotherapy,
she didn't choose to have a mastectomy.
But she did choose today to have this tattoo.
It means a lot to her
because it was regaining that control over her body, regaining
her body confidence and regaining just a little bit of herself back.