So you basically sit down and you're like,
"Hi, I'm Timika. Nice to meet you.
I [am] bipolar and [have] PTSD.
Would you like to share an appetizer?"
I have a mental health issue
and I have a hard time telling people
when I'm pursuing a relationship.
I've told people and they've been afraid of me.
I'm bipolar,
I have PTSD – it's a part of me.
If you can accept that, you can accept me.
I guess I go about it wrong, but it is a part of me,
and I can't lie about it.
So you basically sit down and you're like,
"Hi, I'm Timika. Nice to meet you.
I [am] bipolar and [have] PTSD.
Would you like to share an appetizer?"
It's just that quick right off the bat?
[laughs] Well actually not on the date,
I tell them before the date.
I try to be open about it
because I talk about it in music and stuff
so you're going to know anyway.
Apologies on behalf of basically the entire world
for not understanding mental health.
What you've been led to believe is that
this is a huge character defect, or a huge flaw in your life.
It's something to warn people about.
And I don't want you to talk to people who are potential,
love interests
as if there's something wrong with you.
It is a part of you, obviously. But you are more than just that.
You are a musician, you're an artist,
you're young, you're interesting,
you're funny.
Let them get to know you, and then let them know
what this mental illness means in your life.
The people that are swiping right on you
are also taking a risk,
and they're nervous about their own thing, Timika.
And they have something in their lives that they are
just as afraid will be scary to you.
You don't owe everybody an explanation
of who you are right away.
It's the natural evolution of a relationship for you
to unwrap yourself and show people who you are – who you are gradually.
Thank you for saying those kind things
because I'm so hard on myself and it feels good
to have someone see me in a beautiful light.
What does bipolar and PTSD look like in your life day to day?
My bipolar – it's very up and down sometimes.
It's like Dr. Jekyll
and Mr. Hyde sometimes.
It's also like darkness – living in darkness.
I'm so comfortable with it – with the darkness,
I'm afraid of the light.
And it's like being in a hole.
I think of – sometimes of mental health [like] a superpower.
It's like a gift and a curse.
So, I think of my PTSD as being a superhero
and, you know, feeling hypervigilant
and feeling all these physical things.
But being paralyzed and shaking
and feeling those things – I hate.
Yeah.
When you're a person who has – who has suffered and who has been,
so in tune with that part of yourself,
it kind of is a superpower.
I really like that way of explaining it.
I told someone that I really cared about –
and I thought they cared about me –
that I had a mental health issue.
And they automatically got scared and was like,
"Oh, are you going to hurt me?"
First of all, I'm so sorry you had that response.
That is such a weak, cowardly response
to somebody telling you something important.
I thought it would be different
because it was a woman.
I'm into both men and women,
but I thought it'd be different.
Oh no, turns out women are terrible, too.
So, that's – [both laugh]
I'm really sorry that was the reaction.
That's not the reaction that you deserve.
When you think about this woman who hurt you,
I want you to remember that she couldn't even handle,
the very basics.
She was never going to be your person.
She was never going to be a person who's going to be able to get
through real hard stuff with you.
You need someone on your level.
That made me feel a lot better.
I had to call [a] suicide prevention line
the other night because I was so upset, you know.
I'm glad you did that.
I felt like I had no one to turn to.
Yeah. Thank you for making that call
because I am so, so glad that I got to talk to you, too.
Thank you so much.
So many people are going to hear this, Timika,
who are going through the exact same thing.
Part of your role in this world – should you choose to accept it –
is to help people to understand what that means.
Thank you for sharing that with us.
Let people know all of Timika.
Yes, indeed.
Thank you so much.
Thanks, Timika.