Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink.
Today, we are going to learn about 10 signs someone is going to betray you.
Now, let’s begin.
1.
Creating Distance How do you know when someone is going to break
your trust?
Some untrustworthy people create physical and emotional distance from their friends.
Why?
Because they’re preparing to stab them in the back.
An untrustworthy person sees their lies coming from a mile away.
To them, it doesn’t feel sudden or surprising, but it feels sudden to you.
when a friend stabs you in the back, you’re caught off guard.
You’re left wondering, “what did I do wrong?”
You’re the one whose trust is broken, and you’re the one picking up the pieces of
your friendship.
So how do you know when someone is getting ready to betray you?
What does that physical or emotional distance look like?
They may start by pushing you out of their life.
They will stop responding to your messages.
They won’t return your calls.
When you invite them somewhere, there’s a good chance they won’t show up.
You notice your friend creating distance, it’s possible this person doesn’t value
you as a friend any longer.
They’ve emotionally withdrawn from the relationship, so they aren’t interested in preserving
your connection.
The same thing can happen in romantic relationships.
An untrustworthy partner will spend less and less time with you.
They’ll stop telling you about their day, or maybe they won’t show up for dates and
dinners like they used to.
All of these are signs that someone is nudging you out of their life.
If they’re pulling themselves away from you, there’s a good chance they’re going
to break your trust.
2.
The Emotional Mask When you spend time with your closest friends
and family, you learn to let your guard down.
You can be yourself.
You can be honest.
You can express genuine emotions and vulnerabilities without worrying how the other person perceives
you.
That’s one of the greatest advantages of strong, trusting relationships.
When they are going well, friends and partners can take off their masks and be themselves.
But what happens to those masks when your friendship or relationship is falling apart?
If your friend or partner has become untrustworthy, they may put their masks back on.
For example, they may act unusually nice or polite.
Kindness isn’t always suspicious.
Some people are naturally kind and polite, but context is important.
If you know someone who’s acting uncharacteristically nice, that is a big red flag.
Because this person isn’t comfortable being themselves around you.
They may not trust you anymore, or maybe they’re trying to withdraw from the relationship.
Either way, something has gone wrong, and the other person is hiding their real personality.
In more severe cases, people wear masks to manipulate or take advantage of others.
Someone may be overly polite to you because they want to control your opinion of them.
They show you a picture-perfect version of themselves, while hiding their flaws and weaknesses.
Look out for suspiciously nice people in your life.
If they’re wearing a mask, there’s almost always a reason why.
3.
Inattentive Listening If someone is going to betray, they may stop
listening to you.
They won’t make nearly as many investments in your life, like asking questions or listening
to your stories.
Instead, they may zone out when you start talking.
Chances are, they’ve lost interest in you and your relationship.
When a trustworthy person loses interest, they confront their friends and partners,
and they go their separate ways.
Untrustworthy people, on the other hand, loiter in the relationship.
They may be using you to satisfy a deeper need of their own, or maybe they’re just
taking advantage of your friendship.
So pay attention to the way your friends and partners listen to you.
When you’re talking, do they seem interested?
Do they ask good questions?
Or do they only perk up when you say something that affects their life?
Untrustworthy people are socially selfish.
They’re only interested in their own lives, and they neglect the needs of friends and
partners.
So, if you notice someone tuning you out, be careful.
It’s possible this person doesn’t value you as an equal.
Or maybe they’re only interested in themselves.
Either way, these people are more likely to betray your trust.
4.
Intentional Exclusion An untrustworthy person intentionally excludes
you.
Let’s say your friends are meeting for lunch over the weekend.
An untrustworthy friend tells everyone else you’re busy, even though you were never
invited.
But why do untrustworthy people exclude their friends?
They may be trying to isolate you.
They want to get closer to your friends when you’re not around—and, eventually, leave
you behind.
By stealing your friends away from you, an untrustworthy person is trying to gather allies.
They want other people to choose them over you.
That way, when your friend betrays you, they’ll stay in control, while you are left alone.
If your friend is trying to leave you out, don’t be afraid to speak up.
Your untrustworthy friend may be manipulating you and your other friends.
But, if you wait too long, your friends won’t know who to trust.
5.
Power Plays Exclusion is one-way untrustworthy people
seek power over their friends and partners.
They crave control and dominance in their relationships, but your confidence and happiness
usually pay the price.
Let’s try an example.
Some untrustworthy people gain power by making you doubt yourself.
This manipulative tactic is called gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a popular tool used by liars and manipulators to create confusion and self-doubt.
When you start doubting yourself, an untrustworthy person pushes their own agenda, even if they’re
feeding you nothing but lies.
Once an untrustworthy person gains power in the relationship, they take you and your trust
for granted.
They take advantage of you whenever they feel like it.
And they justify their lies by passing the blame or playing the victim.
Respectful, trustworthy friends aren’t interested in lopsided power dynamics.
They don’t want you to feel bad about yourself.
They don’t want you to doubt your own memories or experiences.
If you know someone that does, they don’t have your best interests in mind.
If they haven’t betrayed you already, there’s a good chance they will soon.
6.
The Criminal Reaction How do this person react when they feel vulnerable?
Do they express their feelings?
Are they willing to communicate and work through their problems?
Or does the conversation immediately go south?
When an untrustworthy person feels exposed, their mood takes a turn for the worse.
They get angry, sad, or insecure, because they don’t actually trust you as much as
they say they do.
If they did, they wouldn’t have a problem expressing their genuine feelings.
They wouldn’t be ashamed of the way they think or feel, because they want to be true
to themselves.
If an untrustworthy person feels vulnerable, they act like a criminal caught in a lie.
They backtrack and panic, and they take their frustration out on you.
Pay attention to these moments of weakness.
If they refuse to show you who they really are, it’s because they have something to
hide.
7.
The Flaky Friend Before someone breaks your trust, they may
go back on small promises, like flaking on plans you made together.
Flaky people rarely value their friendships or relationships the way they should.
They don’t value the commitments they make to other people, because they don’t respect
anyone’s time as much as their own.
If you know someone who’s always cancelling at the last second, stay on high alert.
Flakiness is a big red flag that someone is not invested, respectful, or trustworthy.
They string people along, knowing full well they’re going to lose interest or bail 5
minutes before.
Don’t count on these people to keep their promises, because a flaky person could let
you down at any moment.
8.
An Inconsistent Image Is their view of themselves consistent with
reality?
Do they believe they’re greater than they actually are?
Some people call it arrogance.
Others call it egotism.
But it all boils down to this: they have an inconsistent view of themselves.
In other words, they see themselves as one thing, but, in reality, they are something
else entirely.
You might hear someone describe themselves as quiet and respectful, but they are one
of the loudest people you know.
Or maybe someone says, “I’m an intelligent person,” when you know that couldn’t be
further from the truth.
If their self-image is inconsistent, stay on your toes.
People with inaccurate views of themselves often have inaccurate views of their friendships
and partnerships.
If their views are skewed heavily in their favor, they can easily justify betraying your
trust.
9.
Spilling Secrets Does this person spill your secrets or leak
private information?
Do they gossip about your life to anyone who will listen?
Untrustworthy people will not protect your secrets, because they don’t value your privacy.
Instead, they treat your secrets like celebrity gossip.
They talk behind your back, and they use your secrets to spice up their own lives.
Why?
Because leaking your private information gives them power.
For an untrustworthy person, making fun or you or spilling your secrets may be fun.
This person may not realize how much damage they’re doing.
And unfortunately they may not care.
10.
Behavioral Projection Has your friend ever projected their emotions
onto you?
Projection is a common psychological defense mechanism.
When someone is feeling a strong emotion they cannot understand or digest, they project
that negativity onto you, accusing you of something they are guilty of themselves.
Let’s say your friend is consistently insecure.
They may project their personal insecurities to avoid confronting those inner demons.
If they don’t like the way they look, for example, they might criticize your clothes
or your appearance.
People who project their emotions are prone to betrayal, because they rarely look at the
world through an unbiased lens.
They may not have the emotional intelligence to understand how they’re feeling.
Or maybe they’re too deep in denial to say their feelings out loud.
Either way, when they get defensive, you’re the one that suffers.
And that creates an unhealthy friendship.
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