So, I just saw THE Suicide Squad,
yep this is the one: THE Suicide Squad, that other one that was not the suicide squad,
that was the one this is "The" Suicide,
and it was decent, in other words, this movie was about a billion times better than that David Ayer piece of garbage...
and who really knows how much of that film was David's fault, as opposed to Warner Brothers,
because unless they gave him full control over the film, which l don't think they did,
then much like the original Justice League, Warner Brothers definitely needs to be sharing the blame for that one.
Apparently David Ayer wants to release his own cut, a la the Snyder cut thing...
Which sure, that would be pretty interesting, but I seriously doubt there's a great movie on the cutting room floor for this...
[Clip] *Joker laughing awkwardly*
Remember when the first Suicide Squad movie came out, and I was like "wow, this sucks!"
and then a BUNCH of people were REALLY mad and they were like "no you cannot say that about my favorite action figure!"
and now oh so magically all of the people who were fanboying over the first film, have just DISAPPEARED l guess...
Where the fuck did you go, you cowards!?
l thought you loved that film, why aren't you defending it anymore?!
Have you seriously changed your mind about it because it's not "cool" to like it?
can we all take a moment to recognize just how many people take part in film discourse on the internet, who don't actually love anything about filmmaking,
and are essentially just using films as an excuse to root for their favorite sports team?!
YOU PEOPLE DISGUST ME!
if l loved the original Suicide Squad so much,
that my panties would get in a FUCKIN' BUNCH every time somebody else on the internet didn't agree with me about it,
THEN I WOULD STILL BE DEFENDING IT TODAY!
I wouldn't all of a sudden change my tune, now that there's a different version that is more accessible to others!
"Oh, now there's another Suicide Squad movie, that l get to like publicly, with praise from everyone,
you know what? l chan-
*stammers*
"even change my- l never even thought the original one was that great,
*stupid slurred voice* "you know what, yes, l did never thought it was to that great either!"
WHY DO YOU EVEN WATCH MOVIES, HOLY FUCK!
This isn't even the first time this has happened, because apparently all the people defending the amazing Spider-Man 2 have ALSO disappeared...
Where did THOSE PEOPLE go who were so mad at my review??
SHOW YOURSELVES!
THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!
So uh, yeah a good amount of people that talk about movies on the internet, don't actually give a SHIT about movies...
So uh, yeah that's uh... that's where we're at, thank you...
Anyway, this film was a gigantic improvement on the original.
The difference in tone and presentation is just monumental...
The lighting is like night and day literally...
Wow! Who would have thought it would be cool to see a movie where you can actually tell what's happening on the screen!😒
This also feels like a film not for babies...?
there's things that happen in it that just aren't for babies!
lt's crazy!
James Gunn had done quite a lot of fun gore stuff before he started working for disney,
So, it's pretty cool that he's able to combine the elements of his earlier filmmaking, with that of his more recent filmmaking.
he made a large-scale studio superhero film that's also fun and gory.
It was a pleasant combination that I wouldn't mind seeing more of.
When a song plays in this film's soundtrack it feels like it fits the movie,
When the film tries to be fun, it doesn't feel like it's trying to be fun...
The original Suicide Squad felt like a decrepit senior citizen yelling "this is the part in a movie that's supposed to be having fun this is a fun scene!"
Whereas this movie just has some scenes that are kind of fun...
WHAT A CRAZY CONCEPT!
The characters in this film are probably better, I think...?
Harley Quinn is still very annoying but just not as much,
Cringe Joker moved to the Snyder Cut, so he's not in this... uh, will Smith is gone uh but now we have Zhao Sheena.
你好中国! 这是 John Cena! 我爱并尊重中国人,
我很抱歉, 对 uh... 我的 *unintelligible*
uh... 对不起, 对不起,
我很抱歉.
In this film Zhao Sheena wears a stupid hat and he doesn't really add all that much to the movie,
but l guess l'm not really the type of person where l strongly connect with any of these characters anyway,
so who knows it might be cool for some people. The Weasel character was funny but they didn't use them much,
the Street Shark had some moments,
l liked when he said "om nom nom" and then ate a person.
Edris Elba did a good job, he is a competent actor and I do not really have any issues with him.
There was a polka dot man and his character was pretty funny,
the stuff about his mom was pretty funny and also kind of creepy in a terrifying existentialist way,
there's a character who controls rats...? And I guess it's a good thing that this film was not set in Alberta Canada
because her powers would have been useless...
this is a real map by the way, it's pretty funny look it up.
In the original Suicide Squad the main villain was the most boring and cliched thing ever:
seems like she was plucked straight out of Tom Cruise's, The Mummy...
*bizzare screaming*
ln the new Suicide Squad they have a gigantic starfish Kaiju,
that is, dare I say, kind of... fun!
It's like a fun concept to put in a movie, so that the people watching it, have fun watching the movie!
It's like, wow you put these basic ideas of how to make a competent film in your movie,
and it becomes a competent movie! It's like magic! It's crazy!
There's a lot about this movie that is dramatically improved, although not every single element...
There was a definite improvement in terms of how the licensed music in the film was used,
but the actual score that was composed for the film was very irritating at points,
this soundtrack seriously needs to cut it with all the *makes slow motion noise*
it's not cool, it's actually pretty lame, stop doing it so often, please?
the best parts of this film are when it doesn't take itself seriously at all,
but every time you add in one of those *makes slow motion noise*
it implies that what is happening on screen is very serious and very cool...
there's also scenes like, when Harley Quinn is being captured and tased in a bunch of over-dramatic music plays,
and the overwhelming implication from the film is that we are supposed to take that scene very seriously...
like, "Oh yeah, Harley Quinn's actually in danger guys and you should feel really sad and sorry for her..."
OKAY....
there are way too many slow motion sequences, again it really needs to cool it with the "cool stuff."
again this movie is much more cool and fun and competent in every way than the first film,
but there's still quite a few moments where the effort is much more apparent than the desired effect,
some of the attempts at humor are pretty cringe...
[Clip] -Once we're inside we separate into teams-
[Girl] -I am walking back and forth!
[Guy] -Okay...
[YMS] -Feels like the type of joke that would land pretty well with people who consistently say, "I'm so random!
So yeah, even though overall this is more of an adult film, there are still some moments where it feels like i'm in a hot topic store...
When the shot of Harley Quinn happens in the trailer and there's a bunch of like flower petals exploding behind her,
I was actually kind of interested to see the film to understand the context of that scene,
but then I watched the film and it turns out it happened for no reason and it was just a visual aesthetic choice, that could have been ANYWHERE ELSE in the film...
I was kind of excited for there to be a fight scene in like a flower petal factory or something, I don't know...🤷‍♂️
The majority of my experience watching this film was pretty passive: I did not care about why anything was happening,
nor did I make an effort to care...?
There were some fun moments, there were some cringe moments, there were some funny jokes, there were some cringe jokes,
it's not really my type of movie, but I can understand what it did well especially in comparison to the original film.
I appreciate many of the choices that this film made: it's the type of movie where I watch it and I'm like "damn,
"I am so happy for the people that this movie is for..."
Like, they finally got it, you know? l can watch it and be like "Yeah! You go comic book enthusiasts, this one's for you!"
Because unlike the original film, I can actually understand how this could be very very fun to someone,
I could understand how this could be someone's favorite movie ever!
It's not for me, but l'm happy that l can at least rationalize it now!
So uh yeah, it was decent, it had its moments, l'm never gonna see it again,
uh, would l recommend it? Sure, l think most people would probably enjoy this film.
lf you've ever uttered the phrase "cape-shit" then maybe skip this one...?
lt is a superhero property, it's a gorier one, it's more fun than other ones, kind of...
Yup, it is um, but it's still... it still is very much that thing... it uh has a lot of the same tropes...
it is ,yet again, ANOTHER film where they advertise it as being a "villain movie"
but none of the characters are actually villains...
Like, they call themselves villains, but they all have a moral compass and they all save the day,
they made a gorier version of a regular superhero movie, but the characters call themselves villains,
even though they're not in the movie...
lf you watched the trailer and it looked like a movie that you would love, then you will probably love this movie...
lf you watched the trailer and you thought that it looked boring, then you might be bored....
as for me, I had a decent time watching it and l'm giving this one a six out of ten, thank you! Buh-bye...
[Adum] -Down?
[Scoot] -ooh upsies and downsies?
[Adum] -l got downsies...
[Scoot] -yeah you do...