WIL WHEATON: Hey, everybody.
If you're seeing me in front of my trees in the backyard,
instead of a brick wall, that means there's no new
"TableTop" this week.
However, we have a gag real from last week, and it's
really funny.
I know because I watched it.
Next week, we will be back with an all-new episode of
"TableTop." It is "Shadows over Camelot," one of the
great cooperative games with a defector of all time.
It's me, Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik of "Penny
Arcade," and Tara Strong from basically every cartoon you've
ever loved in your life, except "Scooby-Doo" because
Tara and I were very small children when
that one was made.
I know that you're absolutely going to love it.
Spoiler alert, I'm the traitor.
Dude, it's going to be great.
Thanks for watching, and until we see you next time, play
more games.
Nestled into the Western Coast of the Island of Faerun.
Faerun is not an island, it's a continent.
I know this because I've played there.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WIL WHEATON: Patrick Rothfuss and Brandon Luh?
-Lotch.
WIL WHEATON: Loo?
Lotch?
Lotch, like lotch-ness.
FELICIA DAY: Like a lotch-ness monster.
WIL WHEATON: Like a lotch-ness monster.
You can't have my Tree Fiddy, you
goddamn lotch-ness monster.
Normally in "Dungeons and Dragons" we play wizards,
clerics, fighters, and rouges.
Attain blaah--
lady.
Now, normally, in "Dungeons and Dragons," we play the
fighters, rogues, clerics, and--
a rogue is another name for a thief, so I'm certainly not
going to say "thief," because that would be stupid.
Fighters, rogues, clerics, and wizards.
[BLEEP]
wizards.
Maybe I need to pick up some priests.
Well, there's plenty of priests at the plinth.
One of them will come home with me and be my pet.
FELICIA DAY: You'd better not meet us in an alley because
the silver stars are going to take you down.
WIL WHEATON: You know the gang that I'm really afraid of is
the gang called the Silver Stars.
FELICIA DAY: I know.
[LAUGHS]
PAT ROTHFUSS: [HUMMING]
BRANDON LAATSCH: It's a throwing star, though.
Kind of really thought this one through very much.
FELICIA DAY: See, see, It's not easy.
BRANDON LAATSCH: But yet it still only took me 10 seconds.
PAT ROTHFUSS: [LAUGHS]
FELICIA DAY: [SINGING]
PAT ROTHFUSS: [LAUGHS]
Is that from "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?"
FELICIA DAY: It's the silver star, isn't it?
WIL WHEATON: I think it's actually from "Rent."
FELICIA DAY: It's
"After Hours." [LAUGHTER]
WIL WHEATON: We've caught a mistake that we made for you.
What is it?
BRANDON LAATSCH: I accidentally misread this card
and thought I was supposed to get double purple, because
that's what it was when we were doing the practice round.
FELICIA DAY: He just beat the internet comments.
They were so happy.
BRANDON LAATSCH: They were half-typed.
FELICIA DAY: They were like oh, no, woah.
WIL WHEATON: Engage all caps.
BRANDON LAATSCH: I'm a pro comment preventer.
FELICIA DAY: Exactly.
WIL WHEATON: Activate noob macro.
FELICIA DAY: I knew that was a good real estate.
That was no Baltic Avenue, sirs.
WIL WHEATON: That's Marvin Gardens.
FELICIA DAY: I always like getting Baltic Avenue because
I'm like, I'm going to reform this area.
WIL WHEATON: I'm going to clean this area up.
FELICIA DAY: It's like Silver Lake.
WIL WHEATON: I'm gong to gentrify it.
FELICIA DAY: Exactly.
WIL WHEATON: I'm going to get some of those Boardwalk douche
bags to come here and buy expensive coffee.
FELICIA DAY: Exactly.
WIL WHEATON: It's going to be fantastic.
Anybody want an $80 T-shirt, come on down, Pacific Avenue.
FELICIA DAY: Right here, Baltic Avenue.
WIL WHEATON: Take a ride on the Reading and drop yourself
off in Booty-ville.
Tell me, Baron, about the time you
domesticated the owl-bears.
PAT ROTHFUSS: That was one of the many times in
which I met my death.
FELICIA DAY: What the hell is going on?
WIL WHEATON: Now, when you domesticated those owl-bears,
Baron, I believe you had a difficult time finding your
way through the forest on account of
having lost your eyes.
FELICIA DAY: It's the British Bill Cosby.
BRANDON LAATSCH: I know.
PAT ROTHFUSS: I have been carded very recently.
WIL WHEATON: What?
FELICIA DAY: Dude, what are you talking about?
PAT ROTHFUSS: In a liquor store, undercover--
WIL WHEATON: The guy with the--
BRANDON LAATSCH: Impossible.
WIL WHEATON: --I don't believe you.
PAT ROTHFUSS: An undercover cop comes up to me and just
shows the badge and says, I'm afraid I need to see your ID.
I'm like, [SNORT].
I pull it out, and I show him.
And he's like, oh.
You just weren't acting old enough to be in here.
[LAUGHTER]
PAT ROTHFUSS: Have you been to the back room?
FELICIA DAY: No, I need to go here-
WIL WHEATON: [LAUGHS]
PAT ROTHFUSS: We have special services.
FELICIA DAY: The red sashes have special services?
PAT ROTHFUSS: There are owl-bears
plucked for your pleasure.
WIL WHEATON: Oh-ho-ho.
FELICIA DAY: No wonder there was a mishap.
BRANDON LAATSCH: All right, all right.
Let's see that back room.
FELICIA DAY: What?
Oh, god, guess who's covered in owl-bear juice?
Covered in it.
BRANDON LAATSCH: Woo-bw-bw.
PAT ROTHFUSS: Is that the noise that an owl-bear makes?
BRANDON LAATSCH: I get two gold.
FELICIA DAY: When you tickle them in the right place.
WIL WHEATON: No, the owl-bear noise is whoo-argh.
Whoo-argh.
[SINGING]
FELICIA DAY: I don't like your song.
It doesn't rhyme.
WIL WHEATON: If I were to actually win a game on
"TableTop," I think it would tear up in a hole in the
space-time continuum, and it would pour through a bunch of
domesticated owl-bears.
PAT ROTHFUSS: I am Tom Bombadil.
WIL WHEATON: Oh-ho.
Hang on a second.
We have to do 65 pages of bull [BLEEP]
before you can talk.
OK?
And then we have to sit through 12 hours of songs.
PAT ROTHFUSS: Of me verseifying, yeah.
FELICIA DAY: I'm going to go watch the winners.
BRANDON LAATSCH: I'm just going to scoot.
WIL WHEATON: Get out of my spot.
FELICIA DAY: Oh.
BRANDON LAATSCH: No, dude.
You got plenty of room here.
This couch is clearly a quad.
[LAUGHTER]