You know the more I keep thinking about
things I just don't know I don't think
my heart's in it right now
wood teal
I feel like right now I'm forcing it
it's just like I know what she deserves
and she doesn't deserve somebody who is
not all-in it's been moments where I'm
looking at after than you guys together
and seeing what you guys have him
anything I want that it's like I want
her to be so happy and I want to be the
one to make her happy but I'm not happy
with it I'm not feeling it it's not
right I can't continue to do this to her
anymore
like what kills me is I've done I have
my whole life to make other people happy
my whole life that's all I want to do is
please people and the only person I
murdered is myself by staying in things
carry human with football noise I kept
playing cuz that's what people knew me
for but that's for my family no I'm
stating this cuz it makes them real so
happy that's not great that's dragging
along that's leading her on I can't sit
around on a beach anymore
and look at her everyday know that
there's not a future I feel like
everybody feels super safe after the
rose ceremony but it's hard not
and not let that mess with you I think
me and Coulson are on the same page but
don't want to be overconfident but I
feel like we're in a good place
he told me that he couldn't think about
anyone else it's so sweet it almost
makes me feel worse for other people
yeah after everything happened with
Angela and Eric it's good to know that
I'm confident with Colton who I wanted
this from for so long
Colton and I have known each other for
six months and one constant thing is
that he cares for me and doesn't want to
see me hurt and he knows it would hurt
me if he told me he was all in and then
he changed his mind all of the other
girls are freaking out here but I could
see me and Colton being engaged at some
point being married at some point I feel
like it'll happen naturally I think I'm
gonna get back in the pool there's your
boyfriend
Hey
where are you man hey can we go talk
okay what's wrong good talk
right here let's go
away from everybody
not that
I think you'd know
Artemis has been strugglin in this whole
time and I think part of me wanted this
to work so bad
I wanted you to
as one of us to work so bad I'm just not
it's not there so like what's making you
say all this today because you deserve
somebody who's gonna be crazy about you
every Sunday but can you like honestly
faith that you like tried I could look
at you with a hundred percent certainty
and say that I tried here
I gave it my all
I just know what you deserve and I can't
give it to you
that's the word trying to put on
I wanted it to get there I did
I don't want to be here with anyone else
neither do i I was in paradise for you
I'm leaving today
you need to just really like focus on
like this time and really figuring
yourself out so you can fully give
yourself to someone
Oh
she's one of the best people I know
she's incredible but she's just not for
me
it's okay tell me now but she smells
stupid
don't stir at all it is hurt I know
I mean he's leaving do is you're gonna
leave yeah I can't stay here right and
he was like I came here for you and I
wanted it to work with you and it's just
a lot it he has a bigger and self out
because he gives like yeah someone else
everybody's got their person out there I
wish I could have been the one to end up
with her
I just wasn't the person for her I just
wasn't the one who she deserves I
honestly feel like there's just
something wrong I've never wanted
something as bad as I wanted to work I
want somebody I'm gonna spend the rest
of my life with I really did give it my
all and really did try
I don't deserve her I'm broken move I'm
going to tell y'all goodbye sorry
that's already gone so it's okay hi
it's going on
I like absolutely to not see that fun
day I didn't hear at all I did not see
myself going home right now I wanted to
work so much more because I know Colton
is a great guy
I know what I deserve someone is gonna
love me someday I just wanted it so bad
through this because I believe in this
so much it started feeling long good
enough for people
you