Hello Everybody! My name is Markflondam! Welcome to Don't Spill Your Coffee!
Now as far as silly little games go this is probably the silliest little game that I could possibly find... BUT JUST IMAGINE THE SCENARIO!
You're walking to work! 'Cause that's what you do, you walk to work with your coffee in hand!
Its not even in, like, a mug or a thermos, you stupidly put it in a cup from your home.
But, y-y-you, its too early in the morning! You haven't had you coffee yet, and you gotta get to work cause you're running late.
THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN, GRAVITY BETRAYS YOU, EVERYTHING GONE WRONG, THE FOUR....THE FLOOR...
But anyway, theres like fifteen levels to this game, and then customization options, and I don- uh- I don- I don't know, I've played around with it,
and there's various different hair options, and um, I kinda like the pigtails! Not gonna lie not gonna lie. Diggin' the pigtails...
And also a beard...cuz pigtails and beard, is best combo
yeah, that looks good, change the skin color, oh that's weird.
Its like Squidward if he grew pigtails... and a beard.
Can I have a nose customization? Could i extend this nose out? please?
Okay, lets assume this guy has no grundle, and...just decided to forget his pants.
It's a very early morning! I mean when the floor is rebeling against you and gravity decided to fuck with your mind,
And then cthulu pops through the door, it's gonna be a rough day for you.
So anyway let's get to it. I actually have never played this game before in my life,
and this guy looks like-- oh my god,
(laugh)
WHY ARE YOU S- WHY IS HE THRUSTING?? WHY IS HE THRUSTING INTO THE GROUND??
DUDE..........STOP??
Ok lets try this agai-
He's just- he's just dumping coffee into his face-
(imitating character)
Oh wow...yeah this is good for lumbar support (laughing)
Alright, oh, I can walk! With my HUMAN legs.
Oh! I can try to not spill my HUMAN coffee
Lemme just thrust upwards, holy shit!
What the fuck is happening (laugh)
If I- if I- if I was taking this more seriously, I'd be frustrated with the controls
Let us take this, one step at a time with my FLORGON feet!
-I mean HUMAN feet...
OK!
Oh oh oh oh oh
uhhh, ok, just gotta get through this turnstile, apparently, let's go!
THROUGH THE HUMAN CONTROL DEVICE
A- Oh, shit!
I don't know what's happening
What- why did this not work...
HEHEEY
Ok, em, lemme just spill that on my crotch, my nonexistent crotch
Hup, I gotta....also how do I.....do I.......I don't know what to do!
Do I use the door device? Ahhhhh very smart-
[Terrified scream]
Okay....HANG ON! I got this. WHOAP....HIP, there we GO!
Shit! Nope! I got it!
Don't worry about it! I can get back up from this!
I CAN RECOVER!
(strange noises)
Is this how hard it is to actually human?
Oh key card, OHHHHHHHH
The key card's in my butt!
I gotta put my butt up to this thing, I get it now!
Okay. So I just gotta.... back dat ass up!
Into the key card dispensary
BOOPADOOP
oh, what, AHHHH
It froze on me! That wasn't my fault, it fricking froze!
I gotta do the RAGE worm!
Aah, the game's against me!
LIFE, IMPRISONING ME!
ALL THAT I SEE, ABSOLUTE SAVINGS, WHAT A GREAT DEAL, WHAT A GREAT BUY, [breathless laugh]
Lets try that again! Cause I know what I'm doing now!
Gah just get that! Hang on! Don't Worry!
I got it! 100%! In it to win it!
Just gotta bow...y'know..every once and a while, pay my respects to the dead...
You know, spill out some coffee for those we have lost in this endeavor.
back up, back up, back up,
whoof, whoof.
turn, back up, there we go!
forward! oh boy..TURN
Whoa... This is awfully hard ( (ʘ ͜ʖʘ) )
WOAH this is harder that you think guys! ( (ò ͜ʖó) )
Woah... Woah, that's not,
[gibberish] Ah fuck! [Markitrain noises]
Aaah gimme that! I'm so close!
IM SO TANTALIZINGLY CLOSE!
(Markimoo's incoherent shout of anger)
Alriiiight! Alriiiiight! ALRIIIGHT!
DAAAAA I DID IT!
I'M GETTING A VICTORY CAFFEINE BOOST
Yeah motherfuckers! Whaa, get in my belly!
Okay..You made it to your meeting you had great ideas press 'A' to go to the next one
Alright I'll try one more but I don't know
Uh, I don't know how this is gonna go-
Oh, I think this is s'possed- Shadow play?
What's that mean?
This doesn't exactly make it very difficult...
Just put it in a different spot
Mmm, back dat ass up, fuck!
I'm in it to win it! (Gibberish)
I'm in it to win it! I'm in it to win it! Yeah
Normal human!
Normal human through the normal human turnstyle!
COFFEE! YES!
Awh shit-
Wha- Oh god, how am I supposed to be able to do that?
I don't have- whoops, shit
Uh oh OHEOHoh
O-oh oh oh OH OH
(laughing)
OOH
Oh okay!
There's other controls!
(laughing)
Get it! Get it, man!
Ge- (laughing) Get it!
YEAAHH
YEAAAHH
Well I was always hoping that I'd have this intimate control over my buttocks
I'm glad that this day has finally...come to me
Okay... yep
Lower it.. Oh, hoh hoh
Lower it... Lower it
OOOAH! okay
Let's try to get through it. Like this! Yeah
That's normal... mmm!
My normal HUMAN walking pose
Yes! Have a good day lovely fellow HUMANS!
Let me just journey my massive booty through the turnstyle
MMMMM. Doesnt seem to be-
There we are!
Yes!
It's actually a little easier to walk this way!
Fuck yeah!
Okay
Vertically challenged, I don't know what tha- Fuck it
Is this, is this saying that I can raise my butt into the air..?
(grunt)
Get it up... Ah, fuck!
(laughing)
Ah shit, dude!
Ah, fuck dude!
Ah, welp. Just gonna crab it!
Over here in the corner
No one mind me while I gently do my hip extension exercises
Eh eh
Raise it. Raise it.
Now lean back- Raise it, raise it, raise it-
Lean back...le- lean this way
Raise it
Oh shit
We're getting to terminal... Ass... extension
Ah shit. Gotta back dat ass up
Back it up
(scream)
Okay- Try to make it- Like this now
Normal HUMAN!
Ah fuck!
Terminal raising
Doot- a- loop
Got it..
Woah, hey- Ease up there
Drop it down, drop dat ass
Dat ass is outta control
you drop that down now
Drop- oh
oh
ah
woh
Good thing I'm up against the wall
Drop it down drop it down drop it down
Drop it down!
Drop it down!!
Little more!
Now that's in control
That's what I call in control.
Not really
Woah very drunk
Eh, I spiked my coffee with a lot of vodka before-
Nope, whoa whoa whoa
hep
Ah shit, God dammit!
Ah, good thing I can get my ass up!
There we go
Lemme just-
Doodaleedoop doop!
Eh fuck- Why!! Why there!
I trip over my own feet, it's not my fault!
So I just gotta raise it up and then immediately raise it down
Cuz that's how you say 'raising down'- Woah, hey
Let me go through
Woah- nah- woah- de- fuck
Go! Just go for it!
GOOOOO
MAKE A BREAK FOR IT
RUUN
Yeaaah- Shit
Ah fuck
(gibberish)
So anyway, that's all the time I got for 'Don't Spill Your Coffee'
This game is actually pretty much delightful
I love this,
I love stupid ideas like this
if you guys got more cool games that I can play like this
let me know in the comments below
so thank you everybody so much for watching
and as always,
I will see you... In the next video
Buh- bye!