I knew when I said goodbye to him that
it wasn't goodbye forever and I'd see
him again and when I see him again he
won't be in pain anymore he won't be
weak I was six years old when my mom
passed away my mom died when I was 17
she was sick she had cancer the majority
of my childhood my dad was sick for as
long as I can remember he when I was
born he was just recently diagnosed with
multiple sclerosis you know I wouldn't
talk to my mom I you know I sat down
next to her bed and I told her I was
like this is what the doctors have told
us they said there might be a solution
but we might have to you know go across
the country to a tribe to this doctor's
place to try it out and she's looked at
me and she's like no more I can't my
father who was young and didn't smoke
came down with pancreatic cancer and
within less than six months he had
passed away my father died first
he had arteriosclerotic heart disease so
he had a massive heart attack and then
my mother she died about five months
later and she just had like a sudden
cardiac arrest and I was on the phone
with her or what had happened but I
didn't know what she had ducked we
always had this thing in our family when
you love you love you more I believe it
was me to him as love yeah and then I'll
my way out the door
I heard love you more and that was that
was the last thing he ever said to me
and he was throwing up due to the
chemotherapy I was young and I walked
past it and I recoiled and said gross
and ran away ever since ever since then
that's just replayed in my head since
childhood there was so many unknowns
happening like I felt that it was my
fault
then I realized it wasn't my fault I
remember walking out the funeral home
holding the casket and I grabbed my
little brother and I hugged him I said I
promise you everything's gonna be okay
like I'm gonna make sure of it
everything's gonna be fine
and I hope I did the right thing I hope
I'm hope I'm hoping that I was able to
do what at least half my mother was able
to do for me there's Mother's Day and
everyone was like crocheting these like
things for their mom and I was the only
kid in class that like didn't and so
then I just liked it for my grandma
they're just cents weird yeah so yeah
that's when I kind of understood that
like that everyone else kind of had this
thing and I didn't you never really lose
certain memories or certain parts of
their personality and I to this day will
be watching a movie that I watched with
him several times or TV show that I
watched several times with him
and I can still hear the parts where he
laughs that void is always going to be
there and it's it's a part of who I am
today but it doesn't have to like pull
me in it doesn't have to take over me
and it's a man that I work on all the
time I had a therapist for the first six
months after it happened because it
helps to talk to someone without bias I
go to therapy I go to therapy because
this isn't an issue that's just gonna
like go away you are going to deal with
the loss of your parents for years if
there's somebody to care about you to
let them know and don't just don't waste
time is the biggest thing you learn
because you could be taken today
tomorrow in 50 years you don't know I
learned a lot in those 16 years and I
like cherish those memories I always
tell my friends you know cherish your
parents you just you never know when
they're gonna go cherish the time you
had with them and share that with people
because everyone's in it together and we
all are going through the same thing we
are in a struggle together and together
we go we're stronger
[Music]