Rebecca and I have been able to manage
this family there's career over the last
28 years just by being a team
my wife was trying to get me on the
right plan and there was the ego I was a
card-carrying member of this toxic
masculinity and it all came through with
me realizing that I didn't know
everything when we got married we
started having a family she put
everything on hold for 20 years there
were times I would have three jobs at
the same time and she was like I've got
the kids I'm taking care of the home all
during the success of the career and
I've had an addiction to pornography
it was always hidden and secret and this
and that and I never told my wife during
our whole marriage and I finally finally
broke when I first confronted Terry we
had it out he told me about the
prostitute told me about all the porn
things I said you know we're done right
he's like I told you everything I said
that's good but now it's over
I woke me up I was like I need to get
better for me the hardest part was
knowing that someone I loved respected
and trusted was nothing like I thought
he was and now it's like a lie
everything is a lie
I believe in the heart of every man is
this a little bit of pride this little
bit of arrogance it says oh she won't
leave but when he saw that I meant
business I think it really challenged
him he says that he made the commitment
to get better whether or not he got us
back eventually Rebecca did choose to
come back I had to earn it it's still a
marriage he suddenly became very
transparent it was really not like him
in my mind put the money where his mouth
was and he went to see a counselor and
afterwards I would say it took me
probably three years
the trust and again I have little
moments now of PTSD
[Music]
Rebecca Cruz is my backbone when someone
knows you from good all the way to the
rottenness dirtiest part of you and
loves you anywhere
that's the rarity that's where you want
to be
[Music]
[Applause]
Rebecca thank you for joining us thank
you dr. fields my tremendous pleasure
you guys have been married 28 years
right you and I were talking earlier
there have been ups and downs clearly
and you said that you had a
come-to-jesus moment in your marriage
that almost led to divorce describe that
moment for us well my husband was away
on location shooting a project and we
got into an argument because he was out
late with his cast members but it turned
out he was out late with one cast member
I started to hammer him and with
questions and all of a sudden he starts
coming out of his skin with these
confessions ten years ago I did this 13
years ago I did this and I have this
addiction to pornography and he starts
to tell me all this horrible horrible
stuff and my immediate reaction was to
throw him out and I did
obviously it brought out a lot of
emotions one of them was anger I know
you said when we were talking to you
earlier you said I thought I'm gonna
take your money and move on with my life
I'm still young and I've got my groove
and I want to keep it moving I was yes
when I when I said to him you know we're
done right he's like what I say yes I'm
going to leave your raggedy behind I'm
going to take your money too
[Applause]
my job support for me and my new man
this
[Applause]
I gotta tell you man
guys operate off pride we operate up we
do know you're successful you feel like
that buys you a pass that it's her that
it's them it's everyone else but then a
small voice came to me and said maybe
it's me you know I did not go to rehab
to get my wife back I went there because
I needed to be a better person