sorry mom i love you
oh my god oh my god
oh my gosh it's so pretty outside today the sun is shining
i'm going to take a nap hi my name is richard i am 33 years old this is
the only thing that brings me excitement and joy in my life
why you mad nah i'm not mad well you look man i said i'm not mad i'm just saying you look mad
so you must be me i'm not mad okay reading my preschool diary today at camp i went swimming i
ate lunch which was pizza but i have pb j love what love is to me is everything i love my family
and best i love most everything i star wars fighting darth vader in the stars and killing
the bad guys especially the empire and jabba the hutt is a big slimy guy when i grow up i want to
be me i love soccer i love piano the most thing i love is my family and friends i love camp i love
every dear kitty it's still me arielle but now i'm nine years old and i'm gifted a third
grade mrs dross's class since i'm older now i should be able to talk about grown-up stuff well
not like mommy and daddy's stuff but like my age stuff okay anyways remember when we talked about
my boyfriends but i want to talk about my new ones all right i don't really have boyfriends
i'll tell you who i like number one stephen and other people but you know who i like better than
steven my whole entire what's that supposed to hey jacob can i put you on mute for a second
sure oops i forgot i think i'm like really starting to like him yo shout out
you don't have to like me because i like myself you don't even have to talk to me because
i can talk to myself hey boo what's up girl you don't even have to look at me because
i can look at myself who's that oh that's me i'm cute it's the blonde hair for me it's the
crying at least once a day for me it's the starting your career by lip syncing for me
it's the pushing people away for me it's not answering phone calls because you're
too nervous to actually talk on the phone for me it's having an identity crisis every month for me
it's the avoiding groups of people because you're too scared somebody might look at you and ask you
a question and then you might have to tell a story in front of that group of people for me
it's the fact that people think you wear a tank top to show off your body but actually
it's because when you wear a t-shirt you get really bad armpit sweat stains for me
okay guys i don't know if you know but jacob pranked me a while ago and i think it's time
i get him back okay if i hold it facing up like this you can see him but he can't see you
um i don't know if we can talk anymore i know what you did
what do you mean no no don't even start with me i know what you did
like we don't like each other like that or what what all right
mom i can't find my phone well honestly sweetheart i'm not even surprised because you know
your room is not even made you didn't choose me as your favorite parent in fifth grade miss bud
asks you to choose your favorite parent your room is still a disaster you didn't call me yesterday
when i asked you to call me for the second you got to ashley's house and you didn't
pick up your brother on march 12 1943 when i told you to pick up your brother
so i'm not surprised that you can't find your phone hey so i just remember this really stupid
hilarious story and it's so embarrassing but we're gonna share it my parents don't know about it and
this is probably the worst thing i've ever done so i was in sixth or seventh grade and i snuck a
boy into my house there we go okay so i had the biggest crush on this boy when i was like 12.
and i think he also liked me and finally after a while we started
talking or whatever you do when you're a child um and yeah we were talking
and my parents didn't really like him nobody really knew about him so it's kind of a secret
so me and him made this idea one day where we would call our parents at the same time when we
first got to school like in the morning and say we were really sick and needed to be picked up
two things one our parents were gonna both go to work after and two um we would cross paths in
the office at the same time leaving okay you know what could let me do number two i'll do part two
hello everyone um welcome to my comedy club i have a joke that i'm going to be telling you guys
to start off the night it's about pizza um nevermind i'm not going to tell it's too cheesy
okay you know what actually i have a joke about paper you know what never mind it's terrible
okay guys for real this time why does peter pan fly all the time why he never lands
i'm sorry okay guys i have a joke what does one man say when he walks into a bar any guesses
nope ow because he walked into the bar get it no nobody gets it can i wear your sweatshirt
no can i wear your sweatshirt no can't wear your sweatshirt absolutely no can wear your sweatshirt
yeah my mom's gonna write tic toc boys one through ten he's so cute he's adorable one through ten
ten
10.
10 as well he's a 10. wow i love him tennis ball okay there's no way i'm posting
okay who initiated the first kiss who apologizes first after a fight who is the funny one
who is more romantic wait who is the most patient
who's the better cook that's easy who said i love you first
who takes longer to get ready in the morning
who is grumpier in the morning
who's more stubborn who's the bigger baby one's sick
who is the social butterfly who's the messy one
who sends the most money who loses their key hey so we're going to a party but i need a dress
okay but we have to go to the mall get my dress i have to change at the mall because they don't
want to come back and then and then we're going to go straight to the park that's sam
okay should get my plate yeah
who spends the most money
who will have kids first who will get married first who has the better style
who is meaner who is more dumb who would get arrested first who is most likely to kill somebody
who is more basic who does better in school who is more messy who is most likely to drop
out of school who's the worst driver who is most likely to get pregnant before they are married
hey jacob hey i like miss you or something or something yeah do you miss me or not i miss you
i miss you too who's the meanest most likely to get into a fight
most emotional most likely to do weird things in public
most likely to get pregnant after a one night stand who catches feelings quickest
most likely to break someone's heart
who's the funniest
who's the alcoholic most likely to get cheated on
it's a lot of the right obsession for me it's the bad taste of music for me
you can come for me you can not come to my music it's just rap no offense okay um it's
the anger issues for me it's the getting your license at 19 from me okay um it's the um not
letting anybody take pictures in your room for me it's the being afraid to make new friends for me
it's the animal crossing for 20 hours a day in your room for me it's the emotional changes for me
okay um it's the staying in your room for 12 hours for me it's the blonde hair for me um it's the
bad taste in music for me it's long as alright surf curse it's good music no um it's
the tick tock career for me okay um it's the at least i have a career for me
um it's the school dropout for me okay um ariel you know that we're not gonna agree on okay fine
let's just i just agree to disagree then you're right are you okay you're right you're right you
know i'm right now you're speaking sarcastic about me being right but i'm always right
hi i have a question so what i don't understand is why october is called spooky season
but what is november and december called huh we need a season for that
that's i realize now how dumb of a question that is but i just want to know
okay you