-Republicans and right-wing pundits
have created a mythology that is totally unmoored from reality,
in which Donald Trump was the one
who was tough on Vladimir Putin
and would've somehow stopped Putin from invading Ukraine.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪ [ Cheering and applause ]
I feel like it's worth taking a step back
and remembering the whole reason
Trump got impeached the first time.
I know it's hard to remember
because Trump melted all of our brains
by overloading us with nonstop chaos and insanity.
History Channel's going to have to launch its own version
of ESPN2, called History Channel...
[ Laughter ]
[ Transatlantic accent ] The year was 2019.
"Old Town Road" was at the top of the charts
and everyone was buzzing
about the impeachment of one Donald J. Trump.
Give 'em hell, Donald J.
[ Laughter ]
Trump got impeached specifically
because he tried to extort Ukraine
to help him cheat in the 2020 election
by holding up military aid
in a phone call with Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskyy,
the same Zelenskyy who is now, once again,
asking the U.S. for more military assistance.
If you'll recall, Zelenskyy specifically asked Trump
to provide more of an anti-tank missile system
known as a Javelin, and that's when Trump tried
to dangle the military aid over his head.
Zelenskyy told Trump...
To which Trump responded...
Remember that? [ Laughter ]
It's not your fault if you don't.
To find that transcript, we had to send our researchers
down into the bowels of 30 Rock
with flashlights and magnifying glasses
to sift through rolls of microfiche,
like they were Nic Cage looking for a secret code hidden
[ Laughter ] on the back of the Constitution.
When they found it, after weeks of searching,
they ran up to my office
with a little piece of parchment in their hands,
and they said, "Mr. Meyers,
we found the transcript." [ Laughter ]
And then I had to blow dust just to read the words.
[ Laughter and applause ]
And then I said, "Dear God!
Do you know how old this is?
This happened all the way back in
2019."
[ Suspenseful music climbs ] [ Laughter ]
[ Lightning strikes, thunder crashes ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
So Trump used the aid Ukraine desperately wanted
as a bargaining chip to empower himself politically
and, yet, yesterday, after Zelenskyy's
virtual address to Congress pleading for more aid,
House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy had the gall
to claim it was Joe Biden who didn't give Ukraine
the military assistance they were asking for.
-I've had conversations with the president
long before this moment came.
My advice to him was provide them the armament earlier
to deter Putin from ever making these decisions.
The entire time, President Biden always said
it would be the sanctions afterwards.
And then, when the sanctions came,
he said it'd take months to work.
Well, Ukrainian people cannot wait months.
-Are you for real?
Does your cable package not have
History Channel...?
[ Laughter ]
You're saying Biden is the one
who should've given Ukraine the aid sooner?
The guy you supported tried to extort Ukraine
like a mob boss counting singles
in the back room of a strip club.
'Please, Mr. Trump, you can't tell my wife I was here."
[ As Trump ] That's no problem.
[ Laughter ] That's no problem at all.
I would like you to do us a favor, though.
I need you to help us plant some dirt on the mayor.
You're going to tell people he married his cousin.
[ As Giuliani ] It's true. I did. It was an accident.
[ Laughter and applause ] It was an accident.
And it was only for 14 years.
[ Laughter ] I think these guys genuinely believe
we don't remember the Trump administration at all.
Maybe they thought that thing Trump does with his hands
was a Jedi mind trick. [ Laughter ]
Of course, Trump could never pull off a Jedi mind trick
because he doesn't have any focus.
[ As Trump ] These are not the droids you're looking for.
I got these droids from my very good friend
Anakin Skywalker.
Big guy, strong guy.
Came up to me, tears in his eyes.
He said, "Sir."
[ Laughter ] He said, "Sir,
we love what you're doing for the star system.
[ Laughter and applause ] We love it.
You know he's Darth Vader now.
Anakin is Darth Vader.
Not a lot of people know that.
[ Laughter ] Anyway, you were looking for some droids.
[ Laughter ]
They all want us to think Trump magically would've fixed this
by being tough on Putin,
when we all know the opposite was true.
Trump slobbered praise all over Putin any chance he had
and was desperate to be Putin's friend
and, yet, Trump apologists continue to craft
this insane mythology where, somehow,
Trump would've stopped Putin from invading Ukraine.
Some of them have even come up with elaborate allegories
to explain Trump's supposed toughness.
-They didn't do this on Trump's watch, Russia,
because Trump would've kicked their ass.
-This never would've happened under Trump.
-Why didn't Putin do this
when Trump was president?
And I don't bring up President Trump that much, okay?
[ Laughter ] But I tell you right now
that he didn't do it when Trump was president.
-What we are seeing in Ukraine,
courtesy of Russia,
is merely a preview of what can happen
when America signals weakness.
I've read that, in the jungles, the mighty do not have to fight.
They say that, when the bull elephant lives,
the herd is peaceful and prosperous.
But in his absence,
confusion, disorder, and destruction ensues.
Well, when I get through speaking,
the next voice you hear will be, in a little while,
will be that of our own bull elephant, Donald Trump.
-Are you reading from a rejected children's book
about Donald Trump?
[ Laughter ]
[ As McMaster ] You see, the bull elephant lives in the jungle
with all the others animals
and, when he's home, the herd is peaceful.
And, because it is peaceful, he has time to use Twitter.
But because he only has a trunk to type with,
there are often misspellings
or things accidentally in all-caps.
Still, he is an elephant who tweets,
and that's pretty cool.
[ Laughter ]
Also, can we go back to this real quick?
-I don't bring up President Trump that much.
-Yeah, me neither.
[ Laughter and applause ] Today is such a weird outlier.
[ Laughter ]
For what it's worth, I think it's justified to bring him up.
He's the leader of the Republican Party
and their likely nominee in 2024.
But, yes, I do talk about Trump a lot.
I even talked about him when my psychiatrist
made me take an inkblot test,
but in my defense, it did look like this.
[ Laughter ]
Bull elephant!
[ Laughter ] There was also another part
of that Jeanine Pirro tirade I really enjoyed,
where she went off on the Biden administration
for reaching out to social media influencers on TikTok
to talk to them about the war in Ukraine.
-Biden is responsible for the decline of the West!
What we are seeing right now is a --
I can't say the word -- is a wuss!
-[ Laughs ] -We've got a bully in the yard,
in the playground yard, in the schoolyard,
and everybody's back at the fence, alright?
-How do you know -- -All we -- Wait, wait a minute.
Let me finish.
[ Laughter ] All we have to do is
we have enough oil in Canada, the United States, and Mexico
and we could be our own superpowers,
but right now, the Biden administration
is not only hurting the Americans and all this
#BlamePutin TikTok nonsense. -[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ] -All this is crap!
-I'm sorry, I have to ask, who is mixing your drinks?
[ Laughter and applause ] Because, you know, you're supposed
to put something nonalcoholic in there too, right?
[ As Pirro ] I'll have a vodka soda,
but replace the soda with tequila
and replace the ice with whiskey
and hold on. Let me finish!
[ Laughter ] Replaced the vodka with more vodka!
[ Laughter and applause ] So, Trump's sycophants
have all bought in to the ludicrous idea
that Trump, somehow, would've stopped Putin.
Trump himself has repeated that claim on TV recently,
although he's been weirdly vague about it.
-This would not have happened during my administration.
In fact, some people were saying,
"Why didn't this take place
over the last four years, during our administration?"
And it didn't for a very good reason,
and I'll explain that to you, someday.
[ Laughter ] Oh, well,
by all means, keep that secret to yourself,
former U.S. president.
[ Laughter ]
That's like if, when COVID hit, Obama said --
[ As Obama ] Now, I got a cure,
and I'm going to tell you what it is, uh...
when I'm good and ready.
[ Laughter ]
Trump treats foreign policy like he's doing an ad
for women's perfume.
"What's our secret?
Maybe I'll tell you about it.
Some Day."
-Some Day by Calvin Klein.
[ Laughter ] -And then this week,
Trump's half-finished claymation sons
picked up where he left off,
[ Laughter ] with Don Jr. suggesting
that Trump should meet with NATO next week,
instead of Biden. He tweeted...
Why would NATO want to see Trump?
He repeatedly slammed NATO.
He's like their WWE wrestling villain.
[ Laughter ] Would they know he was there
when they heard his entrance music?
[ German accent ] So, we need to be careful
about what steps we take next, as to not inflame tensions
-♪ Fun to stay at the ♪ -and, obviously --
-♪ YMCA ♪ -My God.
-♪ It's fun to stay at the ♪ -That's Donald Trump music!
-♪ YMCA ♪
[ Laughter ]
And then, Don Jr.'s copy
of a copy of a fax brother Eric Trump
[ Laughter ] went on TV and made a similar claim,
but with even dumber reasons.
-Listen, my father would, you know, call up
and he would've said, "Vladimir,
don't even think about it.
Don't even try us.
I'm telling you, it's not going to work out very well for you."
-You really think that's how the conversation would go?
You sound like you're talking to a dog
who's about to pee on the rug.
[ Laughter ] Of course,
if Trump talked to a dog the way he talked to Putin,
he would immediately give in every time the dog complained.
[ As Trump ] Sparky, don't do it. Don't even think about it.
[ Laughter ] Don't you dare. Don't you dare pee on the rug,
or I'll have to shake that jar full of loose change.
-[ Growling ] -Or, or, alternatively,
pee wherever you want. [ Laughter ]
This is your house, too, Sparky. You're man's best friend
and that makes you as much of a human as I am.
[ Laughter ] Wizz away, just not on the good rug.
-[ Growling ] [ Laughter ]
-Or right in the middle of the good rug.
[ Laughter ] I was just saying to Melania,
I feel like this rug could use a big, yellow, wet spot.
Now, we have it. We worked together
and now, we have it, Sparky.
[ Laughter ] In the last few days,
there's been some cautious optimism
that a diplomatic solution
to this conflict might be possible.
Even Zelenskyy himself has hinted
at a possible compromise.
That's what we need to do --
help the millions of Ukrainians who are suffering
and provide support for a possible peace deal.
What we don't need are reckless threats of escalation
from people who think Trump, of all people,
would've put a stop to this.
The idea that Donald Trump would've been tough
on Vladimir Putin is, quite frankly...
-Bull. -Crap!
[ Laughter ] -Ooh.
[ Laughter ]
This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪
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