From making artists sound more romantic to changing pretty much everything about World
War 2, we look at 9 shocking attempts people made to rewrite history.
9.
China Ended WWII • Put away all that talk about Hiroshima
and Nagasaki, see what actually happened is that China were the ones to stop Imperial
Japan from taking over the Pacific.
• Or at least that’s what was recently said by President Xi Jinping at a military
parade celebrating the victory over the Japanese.
While 15 million Chinese died during Japan’s invasion that lasted 14 years, the rest of
the world would agree that nuclear bombs played more of a role in ending the war.
• Many have seen this as an attempt to rewrite history in order to foster more nationalism
in China, it’s not like a google search can’t prove their president wrong….oh
wait.
8.
Van Gogh’s Ear • You’ve probably heard a little “romantic”
story about how Vincent Van Gogh was so crazy in love with a woman that he CUT his EAR off
for her.
• Yeah that one is pure BS, Van Gogh more probably cut his ear off and gave it to a
prostitute because he was drunk.
Not as romantic, ew…I hope it wasn’t supposed to be a form of payment.
• Though it’s also possible that Van Gogh didn’t cut the ear off himself either, losing
it in a duel with fellow painter Gauguin.
Either someone tried to rewrite history to make Van Gogh seem like a crazy romantic rather
than just artist crazy.
7.
War of the Worlds • Remember being silly people were in the
past because they went into a mass panic over a radio broadcast of “War of the Worlds”?
• Man that sure made old timey people sound stupid, so it’s lucky for them that it never
goddamn happened.
Newspapers reported the mass hysteria but independent fact checking at the time showed
that small audience who tuned in knew it was a real alien invasion.
• This would be because the station played disclaimers before every ad break and…well
because people aren’t that damn stupid.
Newspapers only played up the whole thing so that they could bag out their new competition…
the radio.
6.
The Pink Swastika • How could the Nazis commit such terrible
crimes against humanity?
Well that’s easy, they were evil because they were all raging homosexuals.
• So says the 100% historically base book “The Pink Swastika” that can be basically
summarized as “Hitler was totally gay guys, I can’t prove it at all but that means all
homosexuals are bad”.
The book also tries to explain away the Nazi party murdering homosexuals by basically saying
they only killed feminine men.
• Oh right so Hitler was some kind of masculine power top that just had it out for twinks
and crossdressers.
We’ll explain away bigotry with even more bigotry.
5.
The History of the USSR • If you lived in The Soviet Union during
the Cold War then history was less history and more “shit made up to make communism
look better”.
• The “official” history of Russia started being meddled with as soon as early as 1918
but really started to get messed up after WW2.
Corrupting history to paint a different picture every day of the week served the important
purpose of allowing the government to justify anything they did.
• Most notably the party wanted to hide things like “The great purge” where the
secret police went around torturing people for “anti-soviet activity”.
Because stuff like that really gets people down about your leadership.
4.
North Korea’s War • From one censor happy regime to another,
North Korea is still actively rewriting history all the time.
• Especially when it comes to the Korean War because people will hate South Korea more
if you play the victim.
Basically their version of events pins the whole war on the United States and South Koreans
because they are evil and Kim Jong Un is the sexiest person in the universe.
• They even go as far to pin every major atrocity of the war on the US military including
a massacre where US soldiers used samurai swords to behead North Koreans.
Because samurai swords were used frequently by the US army, don’t you know anything
about history?
3.
Japan’s War Crimes • Japan has had its own long history of
not being able to deal with what they did in WWII.
• Being spurred on by strong right wing groups, the debate over what Japan was responsible
for has been raging since the war ended.
Most notable is the denial of the Nanking Massacre, where anywhere between 50,000 and
300,000 Chinese were killed.
Some saying that the Chinese did this to themselves to make Japan look bad.
• These groups have also called for school textbooks to omit the atrocities committed
during this time, over fears that it would cause shame over people’s ancestors.
2.
Black Egypt • You might have seen some conspiracy nuts
posting about this one recently, primarily stating that the Egyptians were actually black
skinned Africans.
• This is an argument used by Afro centrists to show how white people have been lying about
history, using the rationalization that Egypt is in Africa so they must have been black.
Unfortunately for them science and history tell a different story.
Genetic profiling has shown that ancient Egypt pretty much looked the same as modern Egypt.
• Skin color wise, the country actually varied from dark brown to light brown depending
on how far north on the Nile you lived.
Most of the arguments for this have about as much credibility as saying Hitler was gay.
1.
Hitler Saves Europe • Speaking of Hitler, did you know he actually
saved Europe of the onslaught of Stalin’s communist empire?
• That’s how some historical revisionists have decided that Hitler actually did Europe
a favor by invading Russia…while also simultaneously taking over Europe for himself.
You can probably see the logical flaw here.
• The argument goes that the Nazis found a large amount military infrastructure around
Russia’s border.
Suggesting that the soviets were planning to invade Europe themselves and Hitler decided
to strike, saving Europe from a communist invasion.
How dare Stalin try to take over while Hitler was taking over, that’s just rude.
Speaking of history, if you could change any single event in history, what would it be
and why?
Let us know in the reddit page linked below and you might be featured in
a future countdown.