Here are the worst prison break attempts ever!
9 – Facebook Location Service It's common sense.
When running away from the law, you have to go off the grid.
This includes no Facebook updates, especially ones that include your current location.
This unbelievable moron who was unable to comprehend this basic logic is Chris Crego,
who was arrested in 2009 following a bar fight in Lockport, New York.
He pleaded guilty, but then fled before his sentencing.
When a warrant for his arrest was issued, he was no longer in the state.But police didn't
have to look hard, as a quick Google search was all it took to find him.
They found that Crego had been updating both his Facebook and Myspace account while on
the run.
Who remembers MySpace?!
He posted his current residence at Terre Haute, Indiana; his workplace, a tattoo shop called
Body Art Ink; and even included his working hours!
And that's not the end of it.
He even proudly displayed his wanted poster from a newspaper published in Lockport.
Authorities in Indiana were contacted, and they easily tracked Crego down and brought
him into custody.
He was given additional charges obviously, and the police even mockingly posted a note
on Crego's Facebook page, thanking him for making their jobs easier.
8 – One too many Rafael Valdao's plan wasn’t a bad one.
It just had one small, or rather large, problem.
One night in late December 2012, and three of his friends tried escaping a prison in
Brazil by creating a hole in the wall using a metal pipe.
After hours of work, they succeeded in making a hole large enough to allow them to go through
and escape.
Well, almost large enough.
After one of Rafael's fellow inmates had already made his bid for freedom through the hole,
Rafael quickly followed suit.
But his large physique caused him to get stuck in the wall.
His friends on the other side tried hard to push him through to no avail.
He was found with his upper body hanging outside the prison wall, with his midsection wedged
in very tightly.
Firemen had to be called to smash down the rest of the wall to help him out, and prison
guards giggled as they looked on and took pictures of the stuck convict.
He was later treated for a fractured rib.
Police also found a suitcase full of clothes which he intended to bring along during his
escape.
Rafael's thinner cellmates who already made the run were long gone, while two of his other
friends who waited behind him saw their hopes of freedom thwarted.
7 – Toilet Troubles In December 2015, a video surfaced on the
internet showing a Brazilian prisoner who's attempt at a Shawshank Redemption style escape
failed miserably as he ended up literally buried in deep beep.
The clip showing the prisoner's pathetic and sad attempt quickly went viral, garnering
hundreds of thousands of views within days.
The unnamed prisoner (had dived down head first into a shared toilet used in the prison,
with only his shorts on.
WHY?!
He ended up stuck in the clogged sewage pipes in a painful position.
Two officers had to grab him by the ankles to pull him out of the hole.
his desperate guy should have known better.
He was later pictured having been thrown back into his cell, still covered from head to
toe.
I guess this would be #282 on the perils of having a cellmate!
6 – Snoopy to the rescue
In May 2010, British prison guards were bewildered at the sight of a Snoopy, the dog from the
Peanuts cartoon, trying to break INTO the Isle of Wight Prison.
Together with his accomplice - who sadly wasn’t in costume, Woodstock would have been perfect
- were trying to free a friend of theirs from the facility.
Following the commotion, the two were eventually taken down and brought into custody.
It was revealed that they had been carrying a water pistol.
What makes the jail break attempt even funnier is that he prisoner they intended to free
was actually locked up in a different facility nearby.
Because of their bizarre actions to the authorities, the two men were detained under Britain’s
Mental Health Act law.
You know what.
The costumes now TOTALLY make sense!
5 – Mike Tyson’s Punchout
Hector Luis Campos, a prisoner in Osceola County, Florida....oh wait.
Florida Man strikes again!!
This dude proved that the only thing harder than his head is a prison wall.
In 2011, prison guards heard loud banging sounds coming from his cell around 4 am in
the morning.
They found that Hector had been punching his fists repeatedly against the wall, having
broken off a few pieces of mortar and paint.
He was then using his fingers to chip away and widen the hole, looking to escape one
brick at a time.
So obviously, this dude who was in jail on a burglary charge ended up with additional
charges of attempted escape and destruction of public property.
Hector's swollen fists taught him a valuable lesson that unless you're the Incredible Hulk,
smashing down a brick wall with your bare hands isn’t an easy thing to do.
4 – Dragged out of Prison When Ronaldo Silva's wife visited him in Penedo
prison in Brazil, she brought some of her clothes with her upon his request.
She probably wondered what’s been going on in prison, but she was kind enough to bring
some of her clothes nonetheless.
Apparently Silva decided to break out of prison while wearing his wife’s dress.
The 39 year old shaved his hairy arms and legs, applied makeup on his face, and put
on a wig before waltzing out of prison in his wife's dress, complete with high heels.
He was initially successful in fooling the prison guards and made it past the gate.
But as he proceeded to the nearby bus stop, guards who were patrolling the area noticed
his weird gait.
Ronaldo Silva apparently wasn't used to walking in high heels, and his true identity was discovered
on the spot.
He was apprehended and brought back inside the prison.
The jail director mentioned that he must have spent a considerable time preparing for his
escape, having even painted his nails thoroughly.
According to reports, this was his second failed prison escape, as previously had armed
men invade the jail to get him out.
My question is, where do you get nail polish in prison?!
3 – Wrong place wrong time
In June 2011, 39 year old James Edward Russell, set himself free from the Olympic Corrections
Center in Jefferson County, Washington.
He was serving his fourth prison term and had just been transferred to the minimum security
facility a day before he took off.
The breakout wasn’t a difficult task…..notice I said minimum security?
James planned to borrow a phone from someone to catch a ride and get as far away as possible
from the place.
The problem was, Russell was a little too anxious.
Wanting to flee the area immediately, he knocked on the door of a cabin after walking 14 whole
miles, while still in his red prison issue shirt.
Duuuuuuude.
Proper planning.
Proper planning!!
He probably thought there was a nice old man inside who would kindly lend him a phone to
use.
But the person who answered the door happened to be a prison guard who worked at the very
same place James had just broke out from.
The guard recognized the prison uniform almost immediately.
A brief scuffle followed between the two, which resulted in Russell being apprehended
and brought back to the prison to face more jail time for his escape attempt.
2 - All packed up Juan Ramirez Tijerina was sentenced to 20
years of prison in Chetumal in the Caribbean state of Quintana Roo, Mexico.
After just four years into his sentence, he decided that he had had enough.
In July 2011 his partner, Maria del Carmen Arjona Rivero came for a visit, and had her
beloved Juan packed and ready to leave.
Literally.
When prison guards noticed a bulging wheelie suitcase being dragged out by a nervous looking
Maria, they had her stopped for inspection.
Inside the heavy suitcase, the officers were surprised to find Juan all squashed up in
a fetal position, wearing nothing but his socks and underwear.
Obviously he was thrown back behind bars, and his girlfriend also ended up facing prison
time for her role in the attempted escape.
Turns out, Juan Ramirez's case isn’t all that unique.
A similar incident was reported in early 2017 at Jose Antonio Anzoategui prison, in north-eastern
Venezuela.
Ibrain Jose Vargas Garcia, was caught being smuggled out in a bright pink wheelie suitcase
by his girlfriend during her communal visit.
Seriously, if these guys can't find a job after their release, they should have a go
at becoming contortionists!
1 – Remote Controlled Zeppelin
In 2009, Spanish authorities announced that they managed to prevent an elaborate escape
attempt by a prisoner who intended to escape from a Canary Islands prison with help from
a zeppelin.
Yeah, that big, slow moving airship that people could spot a mile away.
The prisoner is known as Giulio B, with the help of his friends outside the prison, he
had planned to have a 13 foot long remote controlled zeppelin fly over the prison and
drop supplies that would aid his escape.
The items would include climbing gear and night vision goggles that he would use to
scale the prison walls and make a run to the outside where a car would be waiting.
But police somehow managed to intercept the package which contained the remote control
device that was being delivered to Giulio's accomplices.
They were discovered to be staying in a camouflaged tent on a hill nearby, which served as their
surveillance camp.
All three of them were caught, and Giulio remained behind bars.
Here’s what’s next!