- Thank you for inviting me over here to the game today.
- Oh, no problem - Really appreciate it.
- I mean, you're my best friend.
- Wow, thanks man.
Hey, you know what, you're my best friend too.
- Cool.
- Yeah yeah yeah. - Wrote a song about it.
(Keegan laughs)
♪ You're my best friend ♪
♪ Together we can change the world ♪
- I've been trying to reach out to you
all day, are we on for tonight?
Jeez.
- What? You can't catch me.
You can't catch me. I'm Lance Moore.
Touchdown bitch. What? Pause.
(phone rings)
Oh shoot.
Keegan's been texting me.
Sorry dude. Missed your texts.
I assumed we'd meet at the bar, whatever.
I don't care.
(phone chimes)
- Sorry dude, missed your texts.
I assumed we'd meet at the bar.
Whatever I don't care.
Whatever I don't care? What the (beep) is his problem?
Do you even want to hang out?
- Do you even wanna hang out?
Oh, that's considerate.
Like I said, whatever.
- Like I said whatever?
(beep) this guy!
Jesus, you-
- are (beep) priceless. Aww. You're
- The one who's (beep) priceless this...
This (beep) right here.
Oh he wants to, mm hm.
Okay. You wanna go?
- Right now? Guess I could do that.
(he grunts)
Okay.
- Okay let's go. He said okay let's go.
Okay let's go?!
All right, you know what
you know what, you wanna really
- Do this now? Keegan, you nut.
You're not putting me out.
- (beep) yeah, let's do it.
Oh ya (beep) asshole!
- First round's mine.
- Oh no, oh no there gon be no rounds asshole!
It's gonna be a (beep) street fight.
This son of a-
(upbeat dance music)
- Cause tonight we gonna party ...
- You!
- Buddy! Like I said, first round's mine.
A beer and a gimlet for my partner right-
what's that?
- Uh, I got you a baseball bat.
With nails in it.
- For my post-apocalyptic Jackie Robinson costume.
How did you know?
(car honks)
- All right, so we have to remember H5.
- Okay. Uh, oh. I got it. High five.
- Oh I see, that's good.
I see what you're trying to do there.
You're trying to figure out a mnemonic device.
Uh, okay, high fives came out in the '70s.
That's when they were invented.
That's a seven.
- Yeah.
- There's two of us.
So if you subtract two from seven, that's five.
- Okay great, so you got it.
- And then, there's five major food groups.
- Why are you going on?
- Oh no you're gonna love this.
This is fun for me cause it's a puzzle.
- No, no puzzle.
- Five major food groups. There's meat, vegetables,
grain, dairy, and fruits.
- Okay.
- My favorite fruit is pineapple.
- But you know that we got it already.
- Pineapple comes from Hawaii.
- Okay.
- Oh, and oo, my favorite current show is Hawaii Five-0.
- Hawaii Five-0, okay. So that's it. Done.
- Oo, oo and Scott Caan is the star of Hawaii Five-0.
- We're really talking about Scott Caan?
- His father is James Caan,
who's one of the five major stars of
- What's wrong with you?
- One of the five major huge stars, H, right,
of the Godfather movies.
So it's Caan, Pacino, Brando, Duvall, and um Diane Keaton.
And it's easy to remember her name because
her name is the same last name as Buster Keaton.
And Michael Keaton. Both comedians and when you laugh,
you say ha. Ha, ha.
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
You see what you're doing?
You're over complicating the whole thing.
We already had it. You're just,
you're just making it more difficult.
Just like you do everything.
I left my phone in the car.
Which is, wait, hold up.
A dab, no it was a handshake.
- No I got it, I got it.
Ha, Buster Keaton then Michael Keaton,
same last name as Diane Keaton,
one of the five huge stars
on the Godfather movies. Keaton, Brando, Duvall,
Pacino, and James Caan, who's the father of
Scott Caan, who's the star of Hawaii Five-0,
Hawaii, pineapple, pineapple's my favorite fruit,
five major food groups, two of us,
five plus two is seven,
that's the 70s, when high fives were invented.
H5! - High five! High five!
I had it!
Damn!
- [Peele] What up Vegas?
- What up Vegas?!
- Ha ha ha.
Yo. Three days, me and you, free drinks,
thank you, beotches!
- Man, this is gonna be our shit right here, dog.
This is gonna be my
Let's get some jams going up in this bitch right now!
(rap music)
Oh shit! That's my jam right there!
I love this song man!
- I love this song too, man!
That's, everybody loves this song.
- Roll with me, roll with me
Let the night on fire with me
- Girl you know that I got
What you need see, don't get greedy
Give it up sweetly,
Let me set that body free,
Cause what you got, you got to give it to me
What
♪ Let the night unfold with me ♪
- Ever since I was rocking a onesie,
I know that you was second to none B
growing up, and learning ABC's
and one, two, threes,
hoping you'd learn we.
Were meant to be.
Even way back then.
Every little nigga knows a perfect ten.
But then you know, I grow up,
and got a little bit older, a little bit bolder.
Brushing off my shoulders, almost a man.
Those playground feelings grew stronger.
Couldn't wait much longer.
Now with me.
You belong girl - Roll with me.
- Roll with me, roll with me.
- Let the night on fire with me.
- [Keegan] Use your words, take it right now!
(Peele mumbles incorrectly to song)
- Now, no, what the hell?
Don't turn it off just cause you don't know it.
- What we gonna do when we get to Vegas?
- No no no no no no no, don't change the subject
about what we gonna do in Vegas.
If you don't know the words, just admit you don't
- I know the words.
I told you, why would I make up that know, don't know-
that's ridiculous man.
No, I know the words.
- It seemed like you didn't know the words.
- I know the words.
Hey, listen, to me, man. - What?
- I know the words to that song.
- Okay.
- Everybody knows.
- Okay.
- No, it's not okay cause you obviously don't believe me.
Hey, dude, on our friendship, I know the words.
To Roll with Me.
- Okay.
I'm sorry.
- It's all right. - Just let it go, I'm sorry.
That was stupid, stupid.
- Turn it back up.
(rap music)
(car door opens)
(he grunts)
- Yeah, that really hurt.
- Oh!
- What!
- Oh my God!
That is crazy!
- Oh my god.
- Oh my gosh.
- Hey, uh, forgot to tell you.
Congratulations on getting the new job!
- Oh, thanks man. Appreciate it.
- That's awesome.
- Thank you for inviting me over here to the game today.
- Oh, no problem.
- Really appreciate it.
- I mean, you're my best friend.
- Wow, thanks man.
Hey, you know what, you're my best friend too.
- Cool.
- Yeah yeah yeah.
- Wrote a song about it.
(Keegan laughs)
- Not gonna sing it or anything
cause that would be gay.
- That's pretty gay.
- All right, I'll give it a shot.
Wally you're my best friend.
Together we can change the world.
We been together through thick and thin,
playing ball and talking to girls.
Wally I'm so proud of you
you know you're taking all of my advice.
- Wait, stop, stop, stop. What advice?
- Oh, um, it's just a song, dude.
I mean, can I finish?
- Okay.
- You've done everything I've asked of you,
and you never ever ever question twice.
- What are you talking about?
- Thank you for doing what I told you to,
your achievements are also mine,
my padawan, you make your sensei proud.
Living your life, living your life,
living your life to my design,
- That was the weirdest song I've ever head in my life
- You have listened to your elders,
- I'm older than you.
- Never forget the words I say,
you are the product of my creation,
- What? No I'm not.
- I have shown you the way.
- Except for that you haven't.
You haven't.
- Modulate.
Like the white horse guides his cubs to the plains
of the caribou.
- Shut up!
(door closes)
- I have done all I can,
the rest is up to you.
My little cub is all grown up.