- Hi, I'm gonna smile an abnormal amount.
- Honestly, I forgot this was happening today.
- I'm so nervous I might throw up.
- Well, I've already judged you based on how you look.
I tried not to, but I did.
- Should I start lying now,
or did you wanna small talk about the weather first?
- You can just like, go ahead
and say everything you wrote on there.
- Sure, well as you can see here,
I made up six years of experience.
- Head of marketing for Mr. Jones, nice.
- Correct.
That's my dad, I told him you might call,
and he has talking points already.
- So tell me about this management position
at this company I've never heard of.
- Technically I wasn't an assistant
but I feel like I could've figured it out.
- Mmhmm, lets see what other
interview questions I've googled here.
Ah, yes, why did you leave your last job?
- I just feel like I needed a bigger challenge, you know?
And also I was fired.
- Mmhmm, mmhmm.
Tell me about one of your many weaknesses,
and don't say perfectionist, you liar.
- Honestly, I don't really work that hard.
- So why do you want this job?
- I like money.
- Says here you're proficient in Photoshop.
- Oh yeah, I face tune all the time, its one in the same.
Potato, potato, am I right?
- Fluent in French, very nice lie.
- Oui.
I know exactly three words, that was one of them.
- Mmm, trustworthy, I'm not really sure that's a skill.
- Fair, it also depends how many drinks I've had.
- I know it seems like I'm taking informative notes
but really I'm just writing, "Don't hire."
literally, look, "Don't hire."
stupid answer, dumb dumb, you're not getting the job.
- You know I'm sensing this isn't going well
so I'm gonna say a bunch of buzz words.
- Go for it.
- Reliable, a team player, self starter.
- Mmm, maybe something about efficiency?
- Time management.
- There it is.
- Problem solver, eh?
Eh?
- I'm really enjoying feeling like I'm in power right now.
- Oh, fast learner.
- Listen, shut up.
You're talking a little too much
so I'm gonna tell you about our company now.
- Oh, I'm squinting my eyes and nodding
as if I'm very interested.
- Same, yeah, no, I could care less
about this god damn company.
- Well I'm going to overthink everything
I said as soon as I walk out.
- We might settle for you.
- That's what I'm hoping for.
- Absolutely tragic, so sorry.
Aye, you alright there, mate?
If you like this video make sure you smash your thumbs up.
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things people say to people that have acne,
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every Monday and Thursday, mate,
you know I want you to be there.
One love superwoman that is a wrap, and zoo.