(audience cheering)
Good to see you.
Hey man, good to see you, too.
You know, it's.
Wow, thanks guys, nice.
Eh, isn't that nice?
I live just down the street, you know, I mean.
(audience laughs)
They're all gonna follow you home.
Woo, woo, ladies, please.
You know, it's funny 'cause the last time I saw you,
I never run into celebrities anywhere.
I think they're avoiding me.
(audience laughs)
Last Christmas I'm hanging out at my house
with my brothers and sisters and we're hanging out,
and our parents are saying, "Have more ribbon candy,"
and after, you know, when it gets to be like nine o'clock,
you're like, "We're gonna just go out
"for just a little bit, Mom and Dad,"
and so we all piled into our station wagon
and we went to, what is it Somerville?
I'm trying to think of Cambridge.
Yes, well, it was actually in Cambridge, yeah.
B-Side Lounge.
It's this bar and I get there,
and it's just this bar that you don't hear about that much,
but it's this great place.
So I went there with my brother and sister.
The place is completely empty
and I'm sitting there at the bar.
I'm having some peanuts and a girly pina colada or something
and tap, tap, tap, Matt Damon is there
and you and I hung out in this bar for a while.
It was really fun.
Yeah, which was really, we have this tradition.
We have a similar tradition, yeah, in our family
where we kind of sneak out at around nine o'clock
or something and we get together
with all our old high school friends and everybody
and I think the weird,
'cause that never happens to me either.
I never bump into celebrities
and the weirdest part about that night, I think
was the fact that my friends
didn't think it was that weird
that we were hanging together at a bar.
People just think that like, well we saw you on TV
interviewing Matt so I'm sure you guys later on
you know, hook up at a bar.
Right, on Christmas night.
No, and then soon.
(audience laughs)
Soon, Erik Estrada comes in, hey fellas.
(audience laughs)
You know, Cheech Marin and the place filled up with.
I think I was more excited than any of my friends.
I was like, "Conan O'Brien, wow, he's in my bar."
And they were like, yeah, yeah dude, I mean of course.
(audience laughs)
You don't understand, this guy's a god.
(audience cheers)
Okay, you didn't say that, I lied.
No, no, no, I said that.
He did say that, 'cause I asked him to say that.
It was really funny too because you know, I think
we just told our parents, we're just going to the mass,
we're going to go to Mass again to see how Jesus is doing
and then you come back later and like, "Whoa man."
Yeah, I think that was your opener, don't tell
my mom we're not at the Mass.
Yeah, yeah exactly.
So this is an exciting thing.
You're hosting Saturday Night Live, musical guest,
Bruce Springsteen this week.
Yeah, yeah.
And the E Street Band and this is the day
that they rehearse the music.
Yeah, so I got in early.
You came in early I know, I did our studio here
is about two floors away so we ran up there
and we all watched, you just it there
and you watch the rehearsal for the music
and it was pretty cool.
It was unbelievable, he's one of the only people
that I really get just geeky around.
(audience laughs)
So he's someone who makes you, he intimidates you
because that big a star.
Yeah, I've just really been such a big,
it's not really the star, it's just I love the guy.
I love his music, I love just to, he's an incredible guy
and I just am, "Hi," you know?
(audience laughs)
Yeah, and after awhile it gets like all right, all right,
take it easy Matt, it's cool.
Right, yeah, yeah, he was pretty conspicuous
about how hard he was trying to avoid me I think.
(audience laughs)
Now who, is there anybody else who you would say
get stage fright around or is there anyone
of that magnitude who would?
Actually, probably one of my more embarrassing moments,
maybe my most embarrassing moment in my life
happened in front of President Clinton.
(audience laughs)
Yeah, he was somebody who I got stage fright
around literally.
We went to Camp David to show Good Will Hunting
and you know, Robin Williams was there
and after the movie, I had to go the bathroom
and so I went into this bathroom facility
and the President was the only
other person in there, you know?
(audience laughs)
And I was.
Are you sure you want to talk about this?
(audience laughs)
All right, come on, I get paid to do that.
No but, you know, all day, I mean, he's the President
is obviously a very busy man and he was, and he I thought
did a great job and was working constantly
so he kind of had this moment of peace in the bathroom
and I didn't want to disturb him so he was at the bank
of urinals and so.
There's a bank of urinals at Camp David?
(audience laughs)
Well yeah, like three lined up next to each other.
It used to be a Greyhound bus station.
(audience laughs)
He converted it.
Right, right, so I said, well I'll go in the stall,
I won't bother the President, so I went into the stall
and I really had to go to the bathroom
and suddenly I couldn't, you know.
(audience laughs)
I mean, has anyone, you have stage fright, you know?
[Conan] Right, right, right.
And at first, I went you know, no, no, this isn't going
to happen to me and then the seconds started turning
into like minutes and Clinton wasn't leaving because.
(audience laughs)
It was like his first kind of peaceful moment of the day
so he's washing his hands, he's whistling, you know
and this is going on and now I'm getting, you know,
I'm getting really desperate and I'm like, come on,
you son of a bitch, you know.
(audience laughs)
Think calm thoughts, think calm thoughts.
And you know, think about waterfalls and stuff like that
and now I'm thinking, now I'm getting really self-conscious.
I'm like he's actually waiting to hear if I'm going to go.
(audience laughs)
Hey Matt, you having a little trouble in there?
(audience laughs)
Hey you know, I've been doing this a little longer
than you, fella.
(Conan laughs)
I'll give you a couple of tips.
(audience laughs)
And eventually he mercifully left after about three minutes
and then it was like the Hoover Dam broke, you know.
(audience laughs)
I can't imagine that because you would start to think
oh my god, he's noticing now, I've got to do something.
Absolutely, no that was exactly where my head went
immediately and then talk about brain freeze.
I mean, it was total brain lock, I just, you know.
Well, you survived it and now let me ask you about,
I have a question for you because, I referenced it,
but I think people just thought I was putting down Boston.
I'm from the Boston area as well and I was curious,
when I did Saturday Night Live like a year and a half ago,
they have a sketch where people talk in Boston accents
and I thought they're probably going to want you to do
that too, all I know is that I'm from there
but I had forgotten to do a Boston accent
because I'd been gone so long
and so they actually were trying to teach it to me.
They were like, no it's the ya, the ya
and I'm going the yard, no yad.
Can you connect with it again?
Well, I'm a professional actor Conan.
(audience laughs)
Man, I shoulda hit you when we were in that bar.
(audience laughs)
That was my chance, I could take a swing at you.
We're not getting together for Christmas again this year?
Yeah right, it's over now, man.
It's over.
I'm going with Lestrada, I'm leaving you out.
(audience laughs)
No, but it's tough, it's tough.
If you're from there, you get self-conscious
but at least I found.
Well there's also you go through such an effort
to lose it and I think if you had listened closely
that night at the bar, I mean I get a few in me,
and it comes right back out.
I'm like, Conan, how you doin' brotha?
(audience laughs)
So you know.
Yeah, so are you going to do that sketch
or you don't know yet?
Well, you never know what's going to make it to air
but that's one of the select, it looks like
and then there's some other kind of funny stuff.
I actually kind of like coming on this show
and not having anything to promote.
Like I don't have a movie coming out,
I don't have anything really to do,
I just couldn't really get Springsteen tickets.
(audience laughs)
You're like, all right, this is the only way
to hang out with him.
Before we go, I have to ask you, I heard this
and I don't know if it's true but that people on the street
because you two, because you and Ben Afleck are so closely
associated with each other that people on the street
sometimes call you Ben, is that true?
Oh yeah, all the time, they call me Ben
or what's worse is they say, you know, Matt
and I go, hey, and they go, where's Ben?
(audience laughs)
Where's he supposed to be?
Yeah, he's doing a movie right now.
We don't hang out together all the time, you know?
So people want to see the two of you on a bicycle
built for two.
Yeah, yeah.
(audience laughs)
Like ding, ding, ding, ding, like.
That's hilarious.
Like arm in arm, like skipping down the street.
Yeah, skipping along the lane.
Come on, just do that once, it'd freak people out.
(audience laughs)
Holding hands, lala, lala, la la.
Oh god.
That'd be the end of it anyway, you know.
Or the beginning, think of it that way.
(audience laughs)
Matt of course, like we said, hosting the season premier
of Saturday Night Live this week with musical guests
Bruce Spingsteen and the E Street Band.
That's gonna be an awesome show.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
And you know what?
Thrilled to have you here, thanks for being here.
Hey thanks, man.
Matt Damon everyone.
Rita Wilson coming up.