♪ ♪
>> Greg: WASHINGTON, D.C., HAS
MANY PROBLEMS, MOST HAVE A D OR
R AFTER THEIR NAMES.
THANK GOD THE CITIES TACKLING
THE MOST PRESSING PROBLEM OF AL
ALL, STRAWS.
D.C. HAS A PLASTIC STRAW
INSPECTOR.
THEY VISIT RESTAURANTS WARNING
OF FINES IF THEY DON'T GET RID
OF THE EVIL, THIN HOLLOW TUBES.
BEING FOUND WITH A STRAW CAN
EARN YOU AN $800 FINE.
THAT'S MORE THAN THE FINE FOR
PRACTICING MEDICINE WITHOUT A
LICENSE IN CONNECTICUT.
DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW.
[LAUGHTER]
WORSE, IT'S MORE BUREAUCRATIC
HARASSMENT THAT RATTLES CASHIERS
AND CLERKS JUST TRYING TO DO
THEIR JOBS.
THE HASSLE SOLVE NO PROBLEMS
WITH THE OVERWHELMING MAJORITY
OF PLASTIC WASTE IN THE OCEAN,
WHICH SEEMS TO BE THE HOT-BUTTON
ISSUE HERE, COMES FROM TEN
RIVERS, ALL FROM AFRICA AND
ASIA.
IT AIN'T US, WHICH POSES A
PROBLEM FOR LEFT-WING ACTIVISTS
WHO NEED AMERICA TO PROTEST.
THE STUFF THAT YOU SEPARATE ENDS
UP BACK IN THE LANDFILLS BECAUSE
THERE'S NO MARKET TO SELL THE
STUFF.
RECYCLING WAS SOLD TO US AS A
MAGICAL SOLUTION BUT EVEN
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6I
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6U
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6N
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6W
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6I
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6'
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6S
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6G
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6R
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6A
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6E
MAINSTREAM MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE 6.
AS USUAL, OUR NATIONS BUSYBODIES
IGNORE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR
ACTIONS.
PLASTIC STRAWS ARE NECESSARY FOR
PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES AS WELL
AS THE ELDERLY.
BUT WHO CARES.
EVERY BAND IS CONSIDERED
PROGRESS FOR FEVERISH.
EGGS.
WHY SHOULD SOMEONE, PRODUCTS
THAT MAKES LIFE EASIER WHEN THE
LIVES OF ACTIVISTS ARE SO GRIM,
MORE SO THAN STRAWS, THEY TRULY
SUCK.
DANA, 800 BUCKS IN WYOMING,
FLORIDA, MISSISSIPPI.
SIMPLE ASSAULT AS OF THE FINE
$500.
>> Dana: HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I
WAS IN D.C.
I TRIED TO GET A STRAW.
I'M KIDDING.
I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING WITH A
STRAW.
I'M GOING NEXT WEEK.
I WILL CHECK IT OUT.
THIS REMINDS ME OF WHEN I
STOCKPILED LIGHT BULBS FOR
YEARS.
THERE WAS THE WARNING THAT THE
LIGHT BULBS WERE GOING AWAY.
EVERY TIME WE WENT TO -- WHAT
WAS IT, ON CAPITOL HILL IN
WASHINGTON, D.C., GETS MORE
LIGHT BULBS.
THEN WE MOVED THEM FROM D.C. TO
NEW YORK.
>> Jesse: DID THEY BREAK?
>> Dana: KNOW.
BUT I FEEL BAD ABOUT ARE THE
CLERKS AND CASHIERS GETTING
YELLED AT BY THE CUSTOMERS.
THEY WANT A STRAW.
AND THE FINE.
BUT THEY DON'T HAVE TO PAY THE
FINE.
THE OWNER PAYS THE FINE.
>> Juan: AS A RESIDENT OF THE
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA, YOU CAN
GET A STRAW, DANA PERINO.
IT JUST WON'T BE A PLASTIC
STRAW.
>> Dana: HAVE YOU TRIED THEM?
>> Katie: THEY DISSOLVE IN
YOUR CUP.
>> Greg: IT'S NOT
BIODEGRADABLE.
>> Dana: WE SHOULD HAVE THEM
ON SET TOMORROW AND START
"THE FIVE" WITH OUR CUPS WITH
STRAWS AND SEE HOW LONG THEY
LAST.
>> Juan: I CAN SPIT SPITBALLS?
>> Greg: JUAN, THE SPITBALL IS
THE ISSUE.
EIGHT GETS SOGGY WITH A PAPER
STRAW.
YOU NEED A PLASTIC STRAW FOR
SPITBALLS AND SOME OTHER THINGS.
>> Jesse: A DOLLAR BILL, GREG.
>> Greg: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
[LAUGHTER]
>> Dana: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
>> Greg: JESSE, "60 MINUTES."
IN DECEMBER, THEY DID THIS
PIECE.
JOHN TIERNEY, HE HAS WRITTEN
ABOUT IT.
JOHN STOSSEL HAS WRITTEN ABOUT
IT.
HOW RECYCLING IS MORE EXPENSIVE
AND NOBODY'S BUYING IT.
THEY ARE TAKING THE STUFF THAT
YOU SEPARATE OUT AND THEY JUST
THROW IT BACK IN LANDFILLS.
THIS WAS ON "60 MINUTES."
MAYBE WE ARE COMING TO OUR
SENSES.
>> Jesse: I WAS ALWAYS COMING
TO MY SENSES BECAUSE I NEVER
RECYCLED EVER.
EVERYTHING IS COMING BACK FULL
CIRCLE.
>> Greg: STAY IN THE SAME
PLACE.
>> Jesse: THE INSPECTORS JOB
SUCKS.
I FEEL BAD FOR THEM.
DID YOU GET THE JOKE?
>> Dana: ALREADY USED THAT
JOKE.
YOU RECYCLED HIS JOKE.
>> Jesse: I DO RECYCLE!
HERE'S MY HONEST OPINION.
I FLIP-FLOPPED ON THE PLASTIC
STRAWS.
I AM ENLIGHTENED.
JUAN, IT'S POSSIBLE.
FLIP-FLOPPED BASED ON FACTS.
IF THEY ARE GETTING IN THE
POTOMAC BECAUSE THEY CAN BE
RECYCLED BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO
SMALL, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL IF
YOU USE ANOTHER TYPE OF
BIODEGRADABLE STRAW?
OTHER INDUSTRIES CAN POP UP AND
MAKE THESE THINGS.
IT'S NOT GOING TO CAUSE A HUGE
DENT IN THE PLASTIC INDUSTRY.
>> Greg: YOU JUST LOST THE
SPEAKING ENGAGEMENT AT U.S.
PLASTICS.
DON'T YOU KNOW.
THE MORE YOU DEFEND THE STRAWS.
>> Jesse: THEY PAY WELL.
>> Katie: THERE IS MORE IN THE
POTOMAC THAN PLASTIC STRAWS.
MUCH BIGGER PROBLEMS.
THE PROBLEM IS FINDING PEOPLE.
WE MIGHT HAVE PAPER STRAWS
TOMORROW.
I BROUGHT OUR REAL PLASTIC STRAW
TO SET TODAY.
I'M WONDERING IF, THE FINE FOR
HAVING A STRAW IS $800.
WHAT IS DEFINED FOR SMUGGLING
STRAWS INTO THE CITY?
IF I HAVE STRAWS IN MY PURSE.
IS TEN STRAWS CONSIDERED HIGH
CAPACITY?
>> Greg: I AM NOT EXPLAINING
WHAT I JUST SAID.
>> Juan: I THINK WE ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE, YOU KNOW, GOOD
STEWARDS OF THE EARTH, RIGHT?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH TRYING?
>> Dana: I THINK IT'S A GREAT
TIME FOR INNOVATION.
THE CURRENT PAPER STRAW DON'T
LAST LONG ENOUGH AND IT'S
ANNOYING.
ALL YOU SMART WHIPPERSNAPPERS
OUT THERE.
>> Greg: I HAVE AN IDEA:
PLASTIC STRESS.
NOTHING WILL EVER BE BETTER.
CHINA, INDONESIA, PHILIPPINES,
THEY FEEL THE OCEAN WITH
PLASTIC.
>> Jesse: CAN I SAY ONE THING
ABOUT STRAWS.
THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT USE DRAWS
OUR BABIES, OKAY, OR WHEN YOU GO
THROUGH A DRIVE-THRU SO YOU
DON'T SPELL OR IF YOU ARE AT A
FREE DRINK OR SOMETHING.
>> Dana: HOW ABOUT THE
BALL GAME?
>> Jesse: EVERYBODY CAN DRINK
OUT OF --
>> Greg: NO, NO, I'M SAVING
YOU HEARTACHE.
AGREE WITH ME.
THE DISABLED RELIED PLASTIC
STRAWS.
>> Jesse: THEY DO AND THEY
SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE ACCESS.
>> Juan: THE D.C. BILL ALLOWS
THEM TO HAVE PLASTIC STRAWS.
>> Jesse: I READ THE BILL,
GREG.
>> Dana: THE BEST THING THAT
EVER HAPPEN AT AT OUR HOUSE.
MY MOM WOULD LET US BUY BENDY
STRAWS.
>> Greg: SILLY STRAWS.
DON'T BAN THEM.
ONLY SILLY PEOPLE WILL HAVE