[Music] hey welcome back for another episode of porn brain rewire with me Dr trishley I have heard
people tell me well it's really difficult to know where the boundaries of porn begin and end the
Shades of Gray if you will so this is hot off the press because either this is new to me or this is
a new hijacker move that is coming into the minds of people to convince them that there's Shades of
Gray so we are going to break down the Shades of Gray in porn today this is a total hijacker move
just so you know and what I mean by that is when you were young you found pornography pornography
made your brain feel really really good the reason your brain is looking for Shades of Gray
is because if you've committed to not consuming pornography anymore that hijacker in your brain
who needs the dopamine that you've been giving it for so long from pornography that hijacker needs
the dopamine and he will try to find a way that draws within the lines but pushes your lines out
so that he can get the dopamine hit that he's looking for and so the way that it plays out
is you know maybe this is okay so you find porn when you're 12 and the arousal level changes the
arousal level that will be needed moving forward in your brain so here's what I want to tell you
in this very first section of today's podcast episode your brain performance pattern changed
when you found porn and you probably felt it most people do and basically that feeling was your
brain changing the Baseline level of dopamine that would be needed to feel good and to feel
pleasure moving forward so remember dopamine is the neurochemical of more motivation and pleasure
so it motivates you back to more and more higher levels of pleasure and especially when to change
that Baseline level in your brain when you were young okay so you know let's just say you're 12
you find porn and now it becomes something that you go back to to feel good to change your mood
your brain floods with dopamine and you used to feel stressed but now you feel good it's mood
regulation so this becomes the tool for mood regulation primarily for stress and then for
boredom but the caveat on boredom is in today's day and age your brain is highly overstimulated
so it's not necessarily bored it's just not getting the massive amount of stimulation that
it's used to getting so when you feel bored it's the desire to get back to the super overstimulated
brain that then shifts into that neutral mode so porn's an artificial way of Shifting your highly
overstimulated brain into neutral that's why you keep going back all that dopamine does it for you
so so the solution so far is twofold let's reduce the amount of overstimulation in your brain that
wired and tired feeling in the first place and if you do that then there'll be no need to go
back into the screen to shift you into neutral but I want you to understand why you keep going back
into the screen and who that hijacker is that hijacker is that younger version of yourself
who needs this who needs his brain shied into neutral really fast it is an emotionally immature
way of being able to feel good and to dstress so part of the journey is finding emotionally more
mature and healthier ways to cope with stress and boredom while we're reducing the over stimulation
and finding new tools so that's why when the hijacker tries to trick you with this whole
shades of creation an aans I want you to be able to say this is just a trick this is is a call for
this hijacker to get what he wants he's trying to bait me back into the behaviors that he's
used to because that hijacker is that younger brain version of myself who just wants to feel
good fast so that's your choice when it comes to do I go into the screen for a huge dopamine
flood right now and run the risk of it flooding my brain out and keeping my brain in strained brain
going between wired and tired dipping my brain into drained brain where I can't think I can't
focus I have brain fog and erectile dysfunction those are the choices damaging your brain by
going back in for a short-term gain long-term loss or short-term sacrifice long-term gain
the solution is growing that version of yourself up by improving your brain performance pattern
and Lear learning the skills that you need to so in the future you can make that better decision
hopefully today now if you've been listening to my podcast for any amount of time you have definitely
heard me say multiple times everything in the whole world exists on a Continuum so everything
Shades of Gray right literally everything there's hardly anything black and white in this world so
when we talk about pornography where does the line begin where does the line end if if we're talking
explicit content anything that's actually in a porn site is clearly pornography anything that
would be considered sexual media for dopamine hits to make you feel good that is going to be
your new marker on what is considered pornography to you and so these Shades of Gray are going to
be different for all people what do they include they include YouTube videos that are sexualized
oh and if you've seen couple of my videos here uh some of those videos really there's not many
things that chap Myers but that's one of them when professionals put out videos that are supposed to
be professional in nature but they're just highly sexualized with young women who are scantily clad
so like are you there there for the professional advice or are you there for the young scantily
clad women be honest with yourself don't let that hijacker convince you you're there to learn new
yoga moves or don't let that hijacker convince you that you really care about that chiropractor
adjusting that person please this is when you grow yourself up with emotional maturity and you
increase your self-awareness which is the first pillar of emotional intelligence becoming aware
of your own thoughts your own feelings and your own behaviors and their driving forces so videos
that are seemingly professional yet highly sexualized yeah they're going to be in those
Shades of Gray so the question you're ask the question to ask yourself is why am I watching
this and if you can be honest with yourself you're doing it for the dopamine hit that dopamine hit is
the slippery slope of pornography it's leading you back and likely you're watching watching it
because you've told yourself or somebody else that you will not watch pornography that's when these
Shades of Gray really come into play that is the important part because without the hijacker in
your mind and in your brain there really wouldn't be Shades of Gray the Shades of Gray is where the
hijacker is going to find the dopamine so clearly the solution is healing your brain and developing
it fully so that there's no need to go into the Shades of Gray but if you do go into the Shades of
Gray you're moving your brain backwards so there's videos on YouTube social media videos and still
photos anything sexualized is going to fall into that sexual media category even if it's seemingly
innocent even the consumption of rated our movies which wouldn't matter at all to a regulated person
who doesn't have any dysfunction in their brain but a person's who a person whose brain has been
wrapped up in a compulsive sexual Media mode that sex scene comes on and it lights their brain up
we know this from Neuroscience from studies that's what makes it dangerous so even a rated our movie
could be considered a triggering or pornographic sexual media for a brain that's trying to heal on
its way out of a pornography habit that's why staying away from any sexual media is really
important to unwire that brain pattern and once you unwire it you can see a sex scene in the movie
and your brain doesn't feel the same but I will tell you we've talked about this before there's
a transcription factor in your brain that kind of cements those Pathways towards sexual media so you
definitely don't want to expose yourself to too much of it over time because you will fire those
Pathways back up and that's why staying out of the Shades of Gray are important so I'm not going to
list them all here but let's move to your brain hack strategy for the day get your Journal out
get your pen out and think about all of the Shades of Gray behaviors that you're at risk for doing or
if that hijacker has told you Shades of Gray are okay and you know who knows where the line is and
this is really fine write those things down those behaviors and see why you are consuming them it's
the hijacker who's tricking you that's why you can see it's important to figure out what that
is for you because your Shades of Gray would be completely different from other people's Shades
of Gray except for when we're talking about that Continuum of sexual media which is clear that that
Continuum exists from porn sites to non-porn sites that are highly sexualized uh only fans sexual
media those types of things rated our movies to PG movies all the way down to just a commercial
with a sexualized person we're going to increase your self-awareness then the second pillar of
emotional intelligence is increasing your ability to self-regulate from within so instead of having
to go to the screen even if you're just going to these Shades of Gray behaviors or consuming shade
of gray you know social media we'll just say sexual media you don't have to do that anymore
more instead you take a shower instead you go work out instead you go ride your motorcycle instead
you go kick around your soccer ball instead you paint instead you play your guitar these
are all healthy ways to self-regulate then the third pillar of emotional intelligence is social
relationship awareness being aware of other people and their needs and how you're kind of vibing back
and forth off of each other and then social relationship ship management and regulation if
you want more information on this please go over to Dr Trish le.com I offer a self-pay self-guided
90day program in the 90-day program basically I teach you and there's lessons and exercises
in the unwire section which is the first section of the program for you to be able to move through
a process to figure out what all of the Shades of Gray are for you so that you can become fully
aware of them and use specific techniques and tools to not be pulled back into them that's
how you're successful at moving forward in this process you have to unwire that link in your brain
back to those behaviors or back to that Media or back to that whatever you're consuming to
get the dopamine to make you feel good it has to be unlined then you can rewire your brain towards
the healthy optimal mode which maybe you've never experienced so remember the Shades of Gray exist
because your brain wants them to and needs them to and when the pull of that is broken then you
are able to rewire your brain and basically develop it and grow it up into the healthiest
version of itself and then lastly in the hardwire section of that program I teach you how to manage
stress and boredom long term so that you're never at risk for going back to the slippery slope of
these Shades of Gray behaviors as always until next time control your brain or it'll control
[Music] you