-Right-wing conspiracy theories
about Russia's invasion of Ukraine
have spun wildly out of control,
as Donald Trump, leader of the Republican Party,
declared that, if he were president,
he would threaten to use nukes against Russia.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪ [ Cheering and applause ]
We're all familiar with the alternate universe
of lies and conspiracy theories
Republicans have spread about the 2020 election.
Trump's gang of weirdos keeps popping up
to repeat those lines every chance they get.
Over the weekend, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell
was wandering around the grounds
at a Trump rally in South Carolina,
rattling off a list of states Trump had supposedly won,
but were stolen from him because of voter fraud.
-You know where the most votes
in the United States were stolen?
Anyone want to guess? -Texas?
-California.
1.5 million votes were stolen from Donald Trump.
Donald Trump won -- You want to hear
what states we know he won?
Here's the states that Donald Trump won for sure.
He won Minnesota, Wisconsin,
Michigan, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, Georgia.
No. Georgia, Arizona, and Nevada.
He probably -- We don't know, but he might've won Maine.
He might've won Colorado.
There's four others in question.
-Are there any states Trump didn't win?
[ Laughter ]
[ As Lindell ] He won Wisconsin, Minnesota,
Pennsyldonia, Old Jersey,
New Jack City, Arrakis, Endor, Xanadu,
and the one that has the flag with
da bear. [ Laughter and applause ]
Also, dude, if you're going to ask people
to guess something, give them a second to answer, first.
[ Laughter ] The guy didn't get the microphone back to his mouth
before you yelled it out.
Guess which hand has the jelly bean.
It was this one, but I also have one in this one.
Oh, wait, it's gone. Somebody stole it!
No, wait. I remember I ate it.
[ Laughter ]
But this fringe, paranoid thinking is not unique
to the 2020 election.
As we've discovered
during Russia's horrific invasion of Ukraine,
right-wing pundits have become
increasingly unhinged in their conspiracy theories
about the war and Biden's response.
Over the weekend, Fox host Maria Bartiromo,
one of the most pro-Trump voices on TV,
suggested that it was Joe Biden
who saw Vladimir Putin as a partner
and didn't want to confront him.
-Some people have told me, over the weekend,
that they feel that, at the end of the day,
this administration does not see Putin as the enemy.
They see him as a partner, on many issues.
They see him as a partner on climate change.
They see him as a partner on the Iran deal.
When is this administration going to get serious
in telling Vladimir Putin, "We are done with partnerships"?
That means no Iran deal, walk away,
no more renegotiating on America's behalf,
no more products from Russia!
-No more products?! We've already banned
Russian oil, vodka, diamonds, and seafood.
I mean, what else is there?
[ As Bartiromo ] No more products from Russia!
No more Russian ballet,
no more Russian salad dressing,
and no more of those little Russian dolls!
[ Laughter ] Biden keeps saying he's going to ban them,
but then, every time you open one up,
there's another one inside.
When? When does it end, Joe?!
[ Laughter ]
Let's just go back to this part for a minute.
-Some people have told me, over the weekend --
-Alright, that sentence right there is how you know
you're about to hear some [bleep]
[ Laughter and applause ]
First of all, you're kicking things off
with some unsourced weekend gossip?
That's how my writers start off their Monday morning excuses.
"Some people, over the weekend, told me that,
if you smash two edibles together, they, um,
cancel each other out.
[ Laughter ] But I think they were wrong
and that's why I'm late
and all my clothes are wet and -- Wait.
These aren't my clothes.
[ Laughter ]
What on Earth are you talking about?
You think Biden sees Putin as a partner?
First of all, Trump is the one who called
Putin's invasion of Ukraine savvy and genius
and desperately lavishes praise on Putin every chance he gets.
Trump was clearly the one who saw Putin as a partner,
although, I'm not sure Putin felt the same way.
Based on Putin's face when they were together,
Putin saw Trump as a competitor
who was way too easy to outsmart.
[ Laughter ] Putin always had the smile of a spelling bee contestant
after the other kid got a super hard word.
[ Laughter ]
"Your word is insouciant,"
[ As Trump ] Insouciant? We love --
We love insouciant, don't we, people?
[ Laughter ] We love it.
It's a great word. We love it
because it starts with an "I." We know that.
[ Laughter ]
And then, right after that comes the "N"
and, at that point, at that point,
you've basically spelled it.
[ Laughter ]
You've bas-- And isn't that enough?
I feel like can we just leave it there and get full credit?
[ Buzzer ] [ Laughter ]
And they can't even seem
to keep their conspiracy theory straight.
One day, Biden, supposedly, sees Putin as a partner
and then, next, they claim Biden somehow orchestrated
this whole thing as a way to continue
accumulating power as COVID subsides.
-You wonder if, looking backward,
many years from right now, historians will notice
the remarkable coincidence in timing.
Have you noticed? Here it is.
At exactly the moment when the emergency powers
they awarded to themselves to fight COVID started to wane,
our leaders began pushing for conflict with Russia
and then, on the basis of that conflict,
they assumed historic war powers. Hm!
Virtually no one has paused to ask him- or herself
where this might be going.
How long until our leaders do something similar
to their domestic enemies here in the United States?
How long before they accuse you of collusion or disloyalty,
or some other hard-to-define crime,
declare you an enemy of the state,
and then confiscate your bank account?
-[ As Carlson ] How long before they declare you an enemy of the state
and confiscate your bank account?
How long until they take away
your 15% friends and family discount at Ruby Tuesday's?
[ Laughter ] Even though your cousin worked there
for an entire summer.
And how long before they tell you
you can't go to Ruby Tuesday's anymore,
you can only go to Ruby Monday's,
[ Laughter ] even though it's your constitutional right
to go to Ruby's any day of the week?
And how long before the waitress tells you
you can't have an Oreo shake
because that's something that only exists at Applebee's?
[ Laughter ] And how long after you politely suggest
they just put Oreos into a blender does she say,
"Can we please not have this conversation again?"
[ Laughter ] And after you push past her and run to the kitchen
with the Oreos you have hidden in your pocket,
with the full intention of making your own,
are you wrestled to the ground
by a teenage busboy who is way stronger than he looks?
[ Laughter ] And how long before that busboy looks in your eyes and says,
"I worked with your cousin.
He was a dickhead, too"?
How long?
[ Laughter ]
Of course, the reality is that Biden has tried
to delicately thread the needle between supporting Ukraine
and severely punishing Russia, on the one hand;
while resisting calls for more direct
military intervention, on the other.
Because a direct military conflict with Russia,
a nuclear power, could potentially be catastrophic,
a point Biden himself made on Friday,
in typical Biden fashion.
-We're going to continue
to stand together with our allies in Europe
and send the unmistakable message
that we will defend every inch of NATO territory --
every single inch --
with the united, galvanized NATO.
One movement.
But, look, the idea --
the idea that we're going to send in offensive equipment
and have planes and tanks and trains
going in with American pilots and American crews,
just understand, don't kid yourself.
No matter what you all say,
that's called World War III, okay?
Let's get it straight here, guys.
That old expression, "Don't kid a kidder."
-[ As Biden ] Hey, turn the mic way up
because I'm going to do that spooky whisper thing.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, jack it way up.
I'm going to get in close.
[ Laughter ]
And what do you mean? Are you the kidder
in this situation and who are you trying to kid?
You sound like you're buying a used car
at a Ford dealership in Scranton.
[ Laughter ] "This is a beauty. It's a 2013 Fiesta.
It only has 300,000 miles on it."
[ As Biden ] Hey, pal, don't think
you could jerk my chain like that.
[ Laughter ] Don't kid a kidder. Don't piss on my leg
and tell me it's raining, okay?
[ Laughter ]
Now, give me the car for five bucks and a handshake
and we'll call it even. [ Laughter ]
Biden is right -- the situation in Ukraine
is a humanitarian emergency
and we should do everything possible to support Ukraine
and help the millions of people who are suffering,
but any direct military conflict with Russia
would threaten to quickly spiral out of control
into a world war between nuclear powers,
and no one wants that.
I mean, am I the only person here
who grew up [bleep] terrified of nuclear war?
What else is coming back from the '80s, He-Man?
[ Laughter ] Oh, it is? Alright, sweet.
The point is Biden is right, which is why
politicians and the media need to be extremely careful
when discussing forms of escalation that sound good,
but would actually be extremely bad,
like, for example, a no-fly zone.
If NATO and the U.S. declare a no-fly zone over Ukraine,
we would then have to enforce it by shooting down Russian planes,
at which point we'd be in a war with a nuclear power.
And, when you explain that to people,
it suddenly becomes much less appealing,
as CBS discovered in a new poll over the weekend.
-A new CBS News poll shows
59% of Americans support a no-fly zone,
though the support drops to 38%
when Americans consider that it
could be taken as an act of war.
-That's right, support for a no-fly zone drops
by over 20 points, once people actually understand what it is.
It's like conducting a poll where you ask people...
[ Laughter ] And then you follow with a second poll, ask them...
[ Laughter ]
"Free chicken nugget! Don't finish! Hold on!
Dude, good news! What's the second part?"
[ Laughter ]
I think it goes without saying that this is
a very precarious moment
in which reckless military escalation
could lead to even more catastrophe.
We need to help the millions of people who are suffering
and support diplomatic paths toward an end to the conflict.
Even Ukraine's president has said the only way
to end the war is through dialogue.
The last thing we need right now is, say, I don't know,
a former president bragging that,
if he were still in office, he would threaten
to use nuclear weapons and --
Wait. Oh, why am I positing such an insane hypothetical?
Oh, [bleep] We have a Trump clip coming up,
don't we? Damn it! [ Laughter ]
-I would've done it a lot differently
than they've done it.
And what they've done is just terrible,
back and forth between the United States.
Look, Biden, every time he gets up,
he says they are a nuclear nation.
He should say, "We are a nuclear nation."
And, you know, I rebuilt our whole nuclear arsenal
[ Laughter ] stronger, bigger, better,
than ever before.
It's better and it's bigger than Russia.
[ Laughter ] He could say, "We are a nuclear nation
and we don't want war
and we don't want to wipe out anything to do
and we don't want to wipe out Russia."
This is the way he should be talking.
-First of all, don't ever feel the need to preface any
of your remarks with, "I would've done it
a lot differently than they have done it."
[ Laughter ] That's what we call, in the math game,
a given. [ Laughter ]
Everybody knows we're a nuclear nation.
Is this one of those things that Trump just found out
and he thinks he's the only one who knows?
[ As Trump ] You know, the U.S. is a nuclear nation.
[ Laughter ] Not many people know that.
Also, people don't know
Lincoln was a Republican
and that's why he wore the big hat.
[ Laughter ]
There was a tiny nuclear missile in there,
ready to go at any time.
[ Laughter ]
The top of the hat would open up
and then it would come right -- It was terrifying to see.
[ Laughter ]
Finally, I don't ever want to hear any president,
current or former, use the words wipe out,
unless they're on the TV show, [ Laughter ]
in which case, [bleep] go for it.
That would be am-- I would give anything
to see Trump on "Wipeout."
[ Laughter ] And, honestly,
there's a decent chance it happens,
if he thinks his base would enjoy it.
Can you imagine? Can you imagine him trying
to navigate one of those obstacle courses?
I'm guessing Trump jumps like a 1980s video game character.
[ Laughter ]
[ Splash ]
[ Powerdown ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
We all saw it together for the first time.
[ Laughter ]
Russia's horrific invasion of Ukraine
has created a dire humanitarian disaster
and we should be doing everything possible
to support Ukraine,
help the millions of people who are suffering,
and find a diplomatic end to the conflict.
The last thing we need are
more reckless threats of escalation
from morons like Trump.
I doubt he could even find
Ukraine, or Russia, on a map.
Hell, he probably can't even find...
-Minnesota, Wisconsin, [ Laughter ]
Michigan, Pennsylvania.
[ Laughter ]
-This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪
God's Love We Deliver cooks and brings
over two million meals a year
to men, women, and children living with HIV/AIDS,
cancer, and other serious illnesses
and they need your help, now, more than ever.
If you're watching this online, you can hit the Donate button.
Stay safe. Get vaccinated. We love you.