Welcome back to the Gentleman's Gazette! In today's video, we discuss....TS: Hey! I thought
this is my video! SRS: In case you don't know, this is my lovely wife, Teresa, and she's
right! This is her video. TS: And today, I'm going to have some fun and share with you
11 things that Raphael is terrible at. SRS: Really?? Okay! SRS: Chances are you've never
seen Teresa before unless you've watched a table manners video. Teresa and I, we're
50/50 business partners, not just in life but also in the Gentleman's Gazette and
initially, when we started YouTube, she was actually behind the camera and I
was in front of the camera. These days, things have changed a bit but if you
look at our early videos, that was her work. TS: So we all know that it's easy to
present ourselves as perfect online so... SRS: What are you talking about? TS: Yeah. So I
thought who is better qualified to share what Raphael is terrible at than me, his
wife? SRS: My mom?! TS: Your mom, your mom's not here, so today, I'm going to share those 11
things with you starting with speaking quietly. Raphael is
terrible at speaking quietly. SRS: What do you mean?? TS: We have this concept of indoor
voice and outdoor voice and Raphael always uses his outdoor voice. SRS: Except when
we're filming because Preston is louder than I am. TS: That's true! Preston
is louder there so we'll get to Preston's flaws in another video.
SRS: Yeah! TS: So for example, if I come home and I can hear shouting from across the house,
I'm pretty sure Raphael's talking on the phone with his family. SRS: Yeah, I'm also half
Brazilian so they talk loudly too and my sister once proclaimed that we're
just a loud family. TS: She's right! SRS: You're right! TS: The next thing that Raphael is
terrible at is not interrupting and I think you were probably not surprised
that I'm saying that here and you will be dutiful and not interrupting for the
rest of this video but it is very much a a family trait. His whole family
talks loudly, they talk over each other and if you want to get
a word in edgewise, interrupting is your only way to go. SRS: Yeah, Teresa definitely
hates it when I interrupt her but it is hard and I think gentlemen shouldn't do
that and we've covered it many times but it's definitely something that doesn't
come naturally to me. I'd be a lot more aware but I'll do my best.
TS: Yeah, I know you do your best. I just tell him I didn't want to finish that
sentence anyway and then he knows he has interrupted. SRS: Yeah or sometimes she kind
of pokes me in the thigh or in my chin... TS: No, no. Your shin. SRS: Oh yes, shin. TS: I'm apparently more flexible
than I thought. I'm gonna kick you in the chin. SRS: But yeah, when she does it, I know
what she means by it. TS: Exactly, exactly! SRS: She basically brings out the best in me.
TS: As an example of how Raphael struggles not to interrupt people,
just last night, we're out with our whole team, with Preston, with Chris, our
videographer, and Chris is telling us about his weekend plans and Raphael
interrupts to tell us how bad his cocktail was from earlier in the evening.
SRS: I mean it was really bad. TS: It was really bad!
SRS: It was just I want a Manhattan and I got like a bourbon with a vermouth
but for some reason, I was thinking about it and there was his conversation and I
just chimed in interrupting everything and
you guys were just looking at each other like "what is he talking about?" TS: In
addition to the interruption, yes! SRS: So overall, definitely one of my skills to
change topics without the other people knowing about it. TS: The third thing that
Raphael is terrible at is waiting in line. SRS: What?? No. TS: Just in general, Raphael is not a
very patient person when he feels like his time can be spent better elsewhere
which is pretty much everywhere you have to wait in line. So waiting in line at
the grocery store, he rolls his eyes, he gets antsy, he says "oh this is stupid!
they should open more checkout lanes" It's a full-body annoyance.
SRS: I mean I guess you know it's good that helps
or if you check out things. I definitely look at the other lines,
checkout lanes to figure out it maybe faster there. TS: Yes, that is one thing,
that is a skill that has come out of this thing that you're terrible at is
that you are masterful at picking the shortest line. SRS: Yeah, I think also in
Germany, when you go to a grocery store, it's kind of national sport to be really
really quick. People don't waste time, they don't ask how you are versus here,
there may be like 30 people behind you and they're taking all the sweet time in
the world. TS: They're asking about your days. SRS: Exactly and then "oh wait a second,
would you like a different food? Let me go get it for you and then five
minutes later, fifty more people are behind them all annoyed and it's still
not checked out so. TS: And Raphael's laying on the floor kicking his feet. SRS: Exactly.
I'd rather leave and go to instacart instead or something. TS: So a great example
of Raphael's inability to wait in line for something was when we were in Seattle, a
few years ago, and we were going to go up in the Space Needle. We got tickets for
later in the day and you couldn't bear to wait. SRS: Yeah. It was like they give you a
ticket and you have to buy it there and it's like three hours out but we wanted
to take photos and by the time we were going up there, the sun would have been
down so I just talked to the guy and said "hey, you know, we came here all the way
from Germany." TS: You may have laid the accent on a little thick. SRS: Maybe but at
the same time, Teresa, she was so embarrassed she told "No, we can't go up
there because it says we have to go at that time" TS: I was hiding.
SRS: She was so embarassed that she was moving away like at least like thirty yards and
just looking at it and so when I was talking to him and which is pretty
friendly, he was like,
he said "Okay. I can guys let you in." and then we all went up there so I'm
always trying to work the system, I don't take a no for an answer.
TS: No, that's true and that, here is me interrupting, by the way, but that
benefits you in many ways in fact, even though Raphael can't wait in
line, his persistent badgering actually enables some of these delightful flaws
that you have and in this case, we were all rewarded when you managed to get us
a headline. The fourth thing Raphael is terrible at is empathy. Raphael
is a very independent, self determined person and it's not exactly a skill of
his to be able to put himself in other people's shoes. SRS: I think I've definitely
gotten better at it. TS: That's true. SRS: And we do these personality tests... TS: Two percent
is better than zero. SRS: Well, according to the personality test, I think
it's a little higher but I agree, Teresa is a very empathetic person who has very
good social antennas and while I'm trying to get better at it,
she's ways ahead of me. TS: But I think that's just plays to our natural
strengths, right? That's not what you're good at, it's what I'm good at so we work
in our business together in a way that works out. SRS: At the same
time, I think you need to have like a minimum level because otherwise, you are just
perceived as a **** who doesn't care about others and that's just not what a
gentleman should be about, right? TS: Right! The fifth thing that Raphael is terrible
at is actually very similar to the previous one in that he is terrible at
managing people which is very interesting for a CEO of a company. We
have 12 employees who work for us all over the world and we have to manage
them all in some way. SRS: Yeah and I mean, you know, in reality, right? We got to a
certain point but then I realized... TS: Just by you alone, that is true. We got almost
exactly to where we are today with you managing people but in general, you like
to do your work and you like people to leave you alone so that you can get to
all of the things that are on your plate as a CEO. SRS: Exactly. It's part of the growth.
I realized that I just or I mean it's a multi-step process, right? At first, I
realized I can't do it all myself so I need to hire other people but ideally, I
would just like to tell them what to do, not micromanage them, and just let this
go. That also means I'm not going to kind of give them a review or show them how
they work is meaningful which, down the line, is just not really helpful. Now, if
you were a lot better at that and so we just figured while if I'm not good at it
and you're good at that, let's transfer all of that your way so I'm happier, I can do
what I'm good at and you can do what you're good at and you like it a lot
better too, right? TS: I do. I like it a lot better and
as you can tell, I I clearly wrote the script so that Raphael can tell me all
the things that I'm good at. The sixth thing that Raphael is terrible at is
saying the positive, as well as the negative. So he comes from Germany and in
Germany, they do tend to be a bit more direct about the negative things in life
but sometimes, that's hard when you're not also getting the positives as well
as the negatives. SRS: Yeah, in Germany, usually don't get the
compliment right away versus here is like sometimes
when we call my my parents they are like "oh what happened to you? you
look sick, did you gain a little weight?" and Teresa's just there like "What are
you talking about it?" And I am like, they do not mean it that way. They just notice it and just share it. TS: Right.
Raphael is fiercely independent and that means he doesn't really need the
encouragement and praise of other people so it's really not in your nature to
offer it. The flip side is a lot of people come to you for a truly unsugar coated
opinion. SRS: Yeah, I think I'm not someone who just gives out praise very easily unless
I truly think it's warranted. So for some people that means they feel like I'm
pointing out more than negatives and I'm less touchy-feely, I'm more
matter-of-factly but they value this opinion. When all the other people
say "oh that's amazing ,it's great." I'm more like "How is that going to make money? TS: Exactly.
Very matter of fact. The 7th thing that Raphael is terrible at is keeping his
opinions to himself. If Raphael has an opinion, he's going to share it whether
you want to hear it or not. SRS: Yeah, I'm a talker, I guess. I definitely
feel that I'm constraining myself sometimes. I know it may not seem like it
to you but I definitely have opinions, I'm not afraid of conflict or
sharing them. I would say, in general, I am very talkative so yeah, I'll let you know
what I think. TS: Exactly, exactly. To the extent that I'm
happy to actually hide behind you in certain conflicted situations
because you handle it so well. So a great example of this is we were once at a
hat store and the salesman at this haberdashery was showing you a hat from
Dobbs and he claimed that this was one of the best hats in the world. SRS: No. He
said "the best hat in the world" TS: To which you
promptly replied... SRS: "No, they are absolutely not the best hats in the world. TS: And the
horrified look on this man's face, I will never forget and this is a perfect
example of the polite thing would have been not to say anything but Raphael is
definitely going to tell you what he thinks. SRS: Exactly and I could have backed
it up. He was just trying to make a bold statement not expecting me to
know about different felt qualities but yeah, in those cases, I definitely share
my opinion. TS: Right, right. The lesson here is, generally, not to challenge you on
your menswear knowledge because nothing will probably win. The eighth
thing that Raphael is terrible at is caring about what other people think.
SRS: Wait a minute, isn't it a good thing? TS: It can be a good thing, it can be a bad
thing. I think for YouTube, it's a great thing because it means you're just
Teflon when it comes to all the different comments that come along but
for example, once when we were dating, he asked me if he should tuck his shirt in,
I told him he shouldn't tuck his shirt in... SRS: And I promptly tucked it in.
TS: Exactly. SRS: Probably at the time, it just felt it was
better. I mean it was stupid of me to ask you for the opinion when I had my agenda
anyways and I think I've gotten better over time but yeah, if you ask someone
to do something and they give you an answer and you disregard it, I
mean, there's not many ways you can make that other person feel more superfluous,
right? The ninth thing that Raphael is terrible at is leaving enough time to
get dressed. Now... SRS: Wait... TS: Yes, yes, yes! Now, I like to be on time for things. Raffy
doesn't care so much about that but you would think that a man who loves fashion
as much as he does would enjoy a long leisurely process of getting dressed but
I would say a good 95 percent of the time, it is just not true. SRS: Yeah. The funny
thing is, though, with Teresa, it's like when you're getting ready, right? It's
like someone gets ready and you know, everything
takes a lot more time, so when I'm ready, I don't just sit there and wait for her,
I'll do something else and then when she gets ready, she's like "I'm ready" and
says like "I'm waiting for you" so I guess, we're both late sometimes. I agree
with you, I'm not someone who spends two hours getting dressed. I sometimes put
outfits together very quickly. TS: And that means that they're from the top of
the pile. SRS: That can happen. Absolutely. That being said, I always try to come up with
unique combinations, I have all the ties right there... TS: And that's something you're
really good at even on short notice but I just think it would surprise people
to know that if you have five minutes, you'll leave five minutes to get
dressed. SRS: Yeah and Teresa's American, right? So sometimes, there's a
tendency of slightly over exaggerating. TS: Cos Germans are just the truth-tellers of the world.
TS: The tenth thing that Raphael is terrible at is following rules or instructions
created by somebody else. So it could be a recipe, it could be assembly
instructions, I think that you think you can do things a little bit better.
SRS: Well, I think you're right when it comes to rules, I'm not a "we will follower".
I'll try to game the system and figure out a way to do it differently that's maybe
within the rules but not the way it was intended to be. On the other hand, I can
put IKEA furniture together quickly, I can follow recipes and do it pretty well.
I mean it's nothing like our friend, Michael, for example. TS: I'm sure he's going to
enjoy the shoutout. Michael you suck at putting together IKEA furniture. The eleventh and
final thing that Raphael is terrible at is throwing anything away from his
wardrobe. SRS: I agree. As you could imagine, Raphael's wardrobe is a precious curated
thing for him and it is next to impossible for you to throw something
away. And as Exhibit A, I have a more than ten year old shirt here from Siniscalchi
which I know you love that you can
see that this is falling apart on the collar, on the cuffs,
it's got stains, it's just shredded but yeah, it was still in your closet.
SRS:
That being said, specifically with shirts, for
example, Francesco Barberis Canonico, he wears these kind of shirts with his
suits and he has lots of money, he doesn't need that. Now, I'm not quite that
far when shirts are in that state, I don't wear them with
my suit or with my jacket but I still keep them and yeah, I agree. I'm not good
at throwing anything away and I purge things every once in a while.
Socks or underwear even shirts... TS: By that he means once every 10 years. SRS: Well maybe
a little more often but if I throw this away, I'd actually, I'd save the
buttons because they're nice mother-of-pearl buttons. TS: And I knew
that's what you're gonna tell me, don't throw it away, I want to cut the
buttons off. SRS: Exactly or sometimes I know that the cotton on the body is so good,
you can use it for shoe shining but in general, like I'm not a wasteful person
so keeping things and trying to make the most out of it, it is definitely
something and in our basement, we have these old pipes that were insulated with
asbestos and I actually used some of the old shirts to wrap everything so it
wouldn't kind of blow up. So yeah, we repurpose those old shirts in some
ways. TS: Raphael is really good at finding the most obscure possible justification
for keeping things in his wardrobe. So in case you need to insulate
your asbestos pipes, send us an email and we'll send you some
old shirts.
SRS: You're not going to throw it away, are you? TS: Oh, yeah. I'm gonna throw it away. Buttons and all.
[Bickering continues]