(upbeat music)
(audience laughing)
- Okay now just remember,
you're from Connecticut
and you transferred to Bel Air Academy
and you row on the crew team.
(grunting)
(audience laughing)
- Aah!
(screaming)
Aah!
(audience laughing)
- I'm already starting to feel the burn.
(audience laughing)
- Tight as them pants are,
you probably started a forest fire in your drawers.
(audience laughing)
- Excuse me Will, I have a workout to do.
- Hey Carlton, I was reading this.
It says here they have personal trainers, man.
I mean, why don't you get one?
- No need Will, Carlton Banks is gym savvy.
(audience laughing)
- All right.
(screaming)
- Help! Help!
- Yo! Why is G getting back?
I'm starving.
- Don't worry, Will.
I made breakfast.
- Oh, damn. I'm full. Couldn't eat another bite.
(audience laughing)
- Come on, Will!
I know what I'm doing.
Remember, I was a professional caterer.
- And you still would be, if you hadn't poisoned those nuns.
(audience laughing)
- Hey, the autopsy was inconclusive.
(audience laughing)
Bon appetit!
(audience laughing)
- Come on, let's give her a chance.
- These eggs aren't bad.
(crunching)
What's the crunchy stuff?
- Oh great, you found my contact!
(cracking)
(audience laughing)
- Uh, are you quite finished?
- Yup, all ready.
(tapping)
- Ca-Carlton, that's really annoying.
- Sorry, nervous habit.
(crunching)
(audience laughing)
- Yo, Carlton, what's up, man?
What you working on?
- It's an assignment from English class.
I'm supposed to imagine myself 20 years from now.
- Ah, no wonder you're so depressed.
(audience laughing)
- The way I figure it, 20 years from now
my dad will just be taking a seat on the Supreme Court.
But we'll still see each other, especially on weekends
when he and mom come by to see me and little Carlton.
(audience laughing)
- You are a little Carlton.
(audience laughing)
- And if this family is at all consistent,
my wife's wiseguy nephew will move in
and make my life a living hell.
- Your wife?
Oh, this is science fiction!
(audience laughing)
- Well, first things first,
if you're going to want people to take you seriously,
you're going to have to stop dotting your I's
with these little hearts.
(audience laughing)
And you're applying for a position at a catering company?
- Yes, but I don't know anything about catering.
- Come on girl, what are you tripping?
How many catered affairs have you been to?
- I don't know, four maybe 500.
(audience laughing)
- Okay, there we go.
6,000 hours of catering experience.
(audience laughing)
Didn't you spend, like, three summers in Paris?
- Yes, I gained 10 pounds eating croissants.
(audience laughing)
- Studied pastry-making with the French masters.
(audience laughing)
- Will, I am no good in the kitchen!
I mean, the last time I tried to make breakfast,
I burned the entire stove to a crisp.
- Expert in the art of flambé.
(audience laughing)
- Damn!
- Problem, sir?
- It's Vivian, I don't know what's gotten into her.
This morning, she told me that I've become too-
- Predictable, sir?
- Yeah, that's exactly what she said.
She said that I wear the same-
- Blue shirt every weekend, sir?
- Yes, yes.
I mean, just because a man has-
- Fruit Loops every morning.
- And just because I watch-
- "Legal Beagles" every night.
- Does that mean that I've become predictable?
- Absolutely not, sir!
Why, you're a regular hotbed of spontaneity.
(audience laughing)
You're welcome.
- Thank you.
(audience laughing)
- Take a stroll down Wall Street.
You see, we buy stock in West World Airlines today
for $2 a share.
And by Friday, it's worth $8.
Now, when you take a girl out to dinner,
they can get something to eat too.
(audience laughing)
- Oh, so then they'll owe me something!
I'm with you!
(audience laughing)
- Oh, yo, bet! You got the floor buffer.
Come on, man. Turn the joint on.
- Not so fast.
A wise man always reads the instruction manual first.
Page one, welcome to the wonderful world of buffing.
(audience laughing)
First, take a moment to familiarize yourself
with your Buff-o-matic.
- Hey, can I see that for a second?
- Sure.
(audience laughing)
Come on, Einstein I'll plug it in.
(machine whirring)
(audience laughing)
- Make sure buffer is off before plugging in.
(water splashing)
(electricity sounds)
- Do not use near water.
(audience laughing)