>> YO-YO YO, GET READY TO >> Reggie: GET READY TO GO NUTS!
IT'S JAMES CORDEN VS. USAIN BOLT IN "DROP THE MIC!"
♪ ♪ ♪ NOW GIVE IT UP FOR “THE DOPEST
M.C. IN AN SUV”: JAMES CORDEN.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
AND THE MAN WHO DROPS GOLD BARS: USAIN BOLT!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
JAMES, AS HOST, YOU WILL GO FIRST.
>> James: YOU SURE YOU READY FOR THIS.
>> I WAS BORN READY.
>> James: CUZ YOU'RE ON MY TRACK NOUN.
>> THAT'S WAY YOU FEEL, I DOESN'T CARE, I WIN EVERYWHERE.
DID YOU HEAR THE SONG, ALL I DO IS WIN.
LET'S GO.
>> James: ALL RIGHT.
WE NEED TO SHUT THIS GUY UP.
SOMEONE GI >> James: USAIN BOLT, NICE TO
MEET YOU.
♪ NOW, NOT TO BE COLD, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU NAMED YOURSELF
♪ WHEN YOU WERE FIVE-YEARS-OLD.
AFTER ALL THOSE RACES YOU WON IN ♪ BRAZIL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO LOSE
TO A MAN WHO'S STANDING STILL.
♪ ATHLETES AREN'T GREAT AT MATH, SO I HOPE THAT THIS HELPS:
♪ YOU HAVE 14 LESS GOLD MEDALS THAN MICHAEL PHELPS
♪ FOR REAL, TELL ME WHAT'S IT LIKE TO HAVE A CAREER
♪ THAT PEOPLE ONLY CARE ABOUT ONCE EVERY FOUR YEARS?
>> IN JAMAICA, WE'RE TAUGHT ONE ♪ LOVE IN SCHOOL
BUT I'M SORRY BOB MARLEY, ♪ I'M BREAKING THAT RULE.
YOU THINK YOU'RE A STAR, ♪ BUT LITTLE DO YOU KNOW,
MOST THESE PEOPLE THINK ♪ THEY'RE WATCHING THE
KEVIN JAMES SHOW, ♪ YOU NEVER SHOULDA' STARTED,
YOU PROBABLY SHOULDA' FLED, ♪ I RACE IN TEN SECONDS,
YOU LAST THAT LONG IN BED, ♪ YOU WOKE THE LIGHTNING BOLT,
DON'T TRY TO BACK PEDDLE, ♪ MY NECKS STARTING TO HURT,
WANNA HOLD MY GOLD MEDALS?
(
>> James: REGGIE WILL YOU HOLD THESE FOR ME AND THEN GO AND PUT
THEM ON eBAY, THANK YOU. OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE >> James: JAMAICANS ALL LOVE
♪ YOU, WHICH IS NO SURPRISE, FOR A COUNTRY WHERE ONE IN THREE
♪ PEOPLE IS HIGH.
IF THE FACT THAT YOU'RE THE ♪ WORLD'S FASTEST MAN IS TRUE,
THEN HOW AM I THE ONE ♪ RUNNING CIRCLES AROUND YOU?
WHEN THOSE ENDORSEMENTS DRY UP, ♪ YOU CAN CALL ME,
WE ALWAYS NEED MORE P.A.S TO RUN ♪ AND GRAB ME COFFEE.
I'M GONNA MURDER YOU ON THE MIC ♪ THEN GO AHEAD AND WIN THIS,
TAKE A SELFIE WITH YOUR CORPSE- ♪ I KNOW YOU LIKE A PHOTO FINISH
(
♪ ♪ ♪ >> DIE ON THIS SHOW?
♪ JAMES, THAT AINT RIGHT, I CAN'T DIE ANY WORSE
♪ THAN WHAT YOU DO HERE EVERY NIGHT, WE CAN ALL AGREE
♪ CARPOOL KARAOKE'S SUPER, AND PRACTICE FOR YOUR NEXT JOB--
♪ DRIVING AN UBER, YOU CAN'T WIN TONIGHT,
♪ NO NEED TO TRY, THINK...
♪ EVER SEEN ME LOSE TO A WHITE GUY?
♪ CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ENTERED THIS BATTLE TO BE A WINNER,
♪ YOU ONLY OUTRUN ME, IF SOMEONE YELLS DINNER!
(
♪ BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE.
YOU'RE (
♪ SO LOOK OUT EVERYBODY, FRANKENSTEIN'S ARRIVED.
♪ ON THE MIC I'M A LION AND YOU'RE JUST A CUB
♪ AND HERE'S A TIP: STOP TAKING PHOTOS WITH GIRLS
♪ AT THE CLUB.
YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH RIHANNA, ♪ THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN
AT ALL.
♪ IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO HER HERE'S MY PHONE.
♪ PRESS “RETURN MISSED CALL”.
IT MUST BE BITTERSWEET ♪ TO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS,
BUT STILL LIVE IN THE SHADOW ♪ OF A BOBSLED TEAM.
(
♪ I'M ABOUT TO BRING THE FIRE NOW.
>> SO YOU SAW "COOL RUNNINGS" ♪ ON YOUR COUCH ONE NIGHT,
WHILE I WAS IN THE GYM ♪ TO MAKE THAT MOVIE MY LIFE,
I'M THE FASTEST HUMAN BEING ♪ IN THE HISTORY OF RACING,
YOU HOST THE LOWEST SHOW ♪ IN THE HISTORY OF RATINGS,
I TRIED TO WATCH YOUR SHOW, ♪ AND ALL I COULD THINK
"THIS SHOULD END FASTER ♪ THAN ONE OF MY SPRINTS"
I HAVE NINE GOLD MEDALS, ♪ LAST TIME THAT I CHECKED,
THAT'S ONE FOR EVERY TIME, ♪ THAT YOU'VE HAD SEX.
(
RIGHT.
QUIET DOWN, QUIET DOWN.
SO WHO IS YOUR WINNER?
IS IT JAMES CORDEN?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) OR IS IT USAIN BOLT?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) WINNER, USAIN BOLT!
>> James: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, USAIN BOLT