- RIGHT NOW, I JUST WANT TO ENJOY THAT YOU'RE HERE
AND THAT YOU'RE WARM, BECAUSE MOST OF THE COUNTRY
IS GO--IT'S--IT'S COLD.
IT'S VERY, VERY COLD. A LOT OF SNOW.
AMERICA SPEND ALL OF 2014 SINGING THAT "FROZEN" SONG--
"THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY."
[laughter]
AND NOW THEY'RE LIKE, "WELL,
MAYBE THE COLD DOES BOTHER ME AFTER ALL."
YOU KNOW, THERE ARE SONGS YOU SING,
AND SOMETIMES YOU DON'T-- YOU JUST SING THEM.
YOU DON'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE SINGING.
LIKE THERE ARE CHRISTMAS CAROLS
WITH LYRICS THAT MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL,
AND WE JUST SING THEM.
THERE'S--YOU KNOW THE SONG
"IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR,"
THERE'S A LINE IN THERE, AND YOU SING,
"THERE WILL BE SCARY GHOST STORIES."
[laughter]
WHAT?
WHO TELLS SCARY GHOST STORIES AT CHRISTMAS?
"HERE'S YOUR PRESENT, TIMMY.
NOW I'M GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT AMITYVILLE HORROR."
[laughter]
[imitates chain saw revving]
THE SONG "DECK THE HALLS"--
THERE'S A LINE IN THERE,
"DON WE NOW OUR GAY APPAREL."
AND THOSE ARE WORDS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE.
FIRST OF ALL, WHO'S DON?
I DON'T KNOW. WE SAY "PUT ON."
AND WE DON'T SAY "APPAREL." WE SAY "CLOTHING."
SO IT SHOULD BE "NOW WE PUT ON OUR GAY CLOTHING."
[laughter]
I PUT MINE ON. I DONNED IT.
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
CHRISTMAS CAROLING CAN BE FUN THOUGH,
AND SINCE IT'S THROWBACK THURSDAY,
I THOUGHT I WOULD SHOW YOU A VIDEO.
THIS IS FROM SEASON SIX.
I WENT CAROLING WITH THE ORIGINAL CHRISTMAS ANGEL,
BRITNEY SPEARS.
ENJOY.
[funky music]
[holiday music]
[both singing] DECK THE HALLS
WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA
'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA
- HI, THIS IS BRITNEY, AND I'M ELLEN,
AND WE'RE HERE FOR THE HOLIDAYS--
TO GET A START ON HOLIDAY CHEER.
- SURE. - GREAT. LET'S GO IN.
- COME ON IN.
- THERE'S A FIREPLACE.
WE COULD PUT SOME CHESTNUTS ON THERE AND ROAST THEM.
[both singing] CHESTNUTS ROASTING
- NO, YOU GO DOWN. DOWN.
[singing] - CHES--CHESTNUTS ROASTING
- CHESTNUTS, CHESTNUTS
NO, YOU--DOWN.
- I THINK WE SHOULD DO ANOTHER SONG.
- OKAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
- "SILENT NIGHT."
[both singing] SI--
- OKAY, YOU GO UP. - OH, I'M SORRY.
- I GO DOWN.
[both singing] SILENT NIGHT
HOLY NIGHT
ALL IS CALM
ALL IS BRIGHT
- YEAH, WE DID GOOD.
- HOW'S IT GOING?
HI. - HEY.
- HOW YOU DOING? - VERY GOOD.
HOW ARE YOU GUYS? - GOOD.
- WOW. - HI.
WE'RE JUST KIND OF SPREADING CHEER AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
- [singing] BOY, DON'T TRY TO FRONT
I KNOW JUST, JUST WHAT YOU ARE
AND THEN WE TURN AROUND THE BACK.
[singing] I KNOW JUST,
JUST WHAT ARE
YOU SAY I'M CRAZY
AND ON FIVE, WE'LL JUST TURN AROUND AND JUST POSE.
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, POSE.
[singing] WOMANIZER, WOMAN-WOMANIZER
[bell dinging]
- [singing] JOY
[both singing] JOY TO THE WORLD
THE LORD HAS COME
LET EARTH RECEIVE
- HER-- - HMM?
both: HER KING
[choir singing] JOY TO THE WORLD
THE LORD IS COME
LET EARTH RECEIVE
- BRITNEY, BITCH.
[doorbell dings]
[both singing] LET EVERY HEART
PREPARE HIM ROOM
[choir singing] AND HEAVEN AND NATURE SING
AND HEAVEN AND NATURE SING
- HAVE YOU NOT EATEN TODAY?
[singing] AND HEAVEN, HEAVEN,
HEAV--TURE SING.
[both singing] JOY TO THE WORLD
THE LORD HAS COME
- OH, WELL.
- PEACE BE WITH YOU, BROTHER.
[both singing] JINGLE BELLS
[changing notes] - JING
both: JING, JING
- JINGLE - JING
JING
[both singing] JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE
- WHAT IF WE HIT IT LIKE, JING!
[singing] - JING, JING, JING
both: JING, JING, JING
JING, JING, JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE ALL THE WAY [sleigh bells tinkling]
OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH
HEY, HEY, HEY
[rapping] - WITH THE BELLS AND THE JINGLE
AND THE JINGLE AND THE BELLS
- ELLEN'S GOT THE JINGLE 'CAUSE SHE IS THE JINGLE
- I GOT THE JINGLE, AND WHO'S GOT THE JINGLE?
SAID YOU'VE GOT THE JINGLE - AND SHE'S THERE
- AND YOU'RE HERE
[both rapping indistinctly]
AND WE ARE THE both: JINGLE BELLS GIRLS
- JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE - JINGLE BELLS GIRLS
both: JINGLE BELLS GIRLS - JING, JING, JING, JING
both: JING, JING, JING, JING, JING
[cheers and applause]
- WHOO.
[applause]
AH, YOU KNOW,
HEARING ALL THOSE CHRISTMAS CLASSICS
REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING...
OH, YEAH, MY NEW HOLIDAY ALBUM.
IT'S CALLED "THE ONLY HOLIDAY ALBUM YOU'LL EVER NEED,
VOLUME ONE."
[laughter]
AND IT'S SOLD EXCLUSIVELY AT TARGET.
ding!