Women earn almost 60% of university degrees in America and Europe.
Despite that, women hold only 4.6% of Fortune 500 CEO positions.
80% of women admit to wearing shoes that hurt in an effort to generate the feeling of power and status.
Women earn 77 cents for every dollar earned by their male counterparts.
That's what she said
Power and Purpose
I want to talk about being a woman in male-dominated industries, maintaining our femininity,
and still having having power and and having that be okay and having that not
be something that we have to,
A) become masculine to get, or B) become bitchy to get. It's been really
interesting to me watching Shabnam and I have kind of navigated those waters
because we're meeting with
people in the industry and a lot of times I feel like we're discounted, 1) because
we're SoulPancake. Our name itself is like, you guys do what again?
2) It's just, we're cute women. Shabnam and I joke with each other like
when she wears a blazer, I'm like, alright, you're suited up. We're going to head to this meeting. Or she'll rock
on her heels and
I think about the things we try to do to arm ourselves with like, the kind of
respect we would get if a male counterpart was there and how sad it is.
I remember when I was working at MTV. I really never wanted to dress up because
I was working on the technical side of things and i was just never taken
seriously.
Like, ever! Okay, the more boyish that I can be, the more I can kind of, like,
dress like that, then maybe they'll take me more seriously.
I think it's Susan Sarandon. She said, "Never underestimate the power of a very short,
very tight, red dress."
I think that's awesome coming from a super bright woman because
one of the things I think really sucks in business or
just life in general is that often to be taken seriously you have to become
mannish or masculine and you see it reflected even in the fashion with the
women's movement, like, you have these huge shoulder pads of the eighties because
women are becoming men,
actually, physically. I still find myself having to
wear the power suit or really do the power hair. Which,
sometimes, I find a little bit absurd, but it is what it is.
Wear a suit. Wear shirts that are high.
Don't show cleavage and wear a little longer skirt. Men will take you way more
seriously if you dress the part.
I was reading Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In book right now about how she talks
about how if you're a little girl and you're assertive,
you're called "bossy," but boys who are assertive are never given that title.
Yeah, they're called leaders. I think in our society one of the worst things is
when women are perceived as being bitchy
when they're putting their foot down because men can do it all the time and
they can say things and
it just gets rolled off, you know? and for women it's like, "You're being too soft" or like,
"God, don't be- Ooo, someone's in a bad mood," you know? You're like, c'mon!
Are you on your period? Yeah. I do have to factor in the way that I present my
information,
tone, just to be sure to not be accused of having
any sort of emotional attachment to the points that I'm trying to make.
I was a very nurturing type of a salesperson
so I would bring that to the table when I would call on my account
where at my male counterparts, we're not doing that.
It was really cut and dry and there was not that emotional
component in it. You're seeing that women are
more and more educated and a lot of times are surpassing men in education,
but the challenge, at least in my mind, is that that hasn't been brought
enough of a change
because we've continued to value the same things, so you can have people who are
dressed different and people who look different,
but if you continue to propagate the same values, then you haven't really
changed things. I worked at Yahoo!
and I worked in that corporate, dog-eat-dog world.
and who are the meanest people? Women. One of the unspoken
things is sometimes, that other women can be
roadblocks to success. I've met women where I'm like dude why are you, like,
they're just mean, you know? and there's a little bit of hostility. So, what we
do?
We start to be helping people up a ladder
rather than kicking the ladder from them and we start to
encourage women to have someone under you. My husband said something really interesting:
"It's never good to be the only person who's good at what you do,"
and I said, "Well, why not? That sounds awesome!"
because you should always have someone
coming up to take your place under you. It challenges you,
it keeps you on your game, you learn from teaching other people.
and as women I don't think we take that posture because
we think there's only one place and for some reason there's very few places
for us at the top and I think we have to re-
structure the way that we think about that.
There's enough. Like, there's enough success and love and money
and friendship and orgasms for all of us! I think
there's this really huge competition element when it comes to
other women
and we sort of lose sight of- we're a community.
You know? The worst thing we can do is cut each other down and the best thing
we can do is lift each other up.
I love taking care of others. I have this thirst for
being able to nurture people and take care them. I feel really whole
when I can do that. I kinda feel like the mother of the office
because I'm the office manager and I absolutely love it.
I feel like I I'm really needed. I feel like a whole person, like, I'm using
my strengths in the right way, is a really wonderful feeling.
I love that because I'm what you described sounds like really maternal
characteristics
and it's so cool that you can take that and turn it into business
and still being treated like that maternal
feeling, you know? It can translate to either one. I think women should really
embrace being women
and bring your femininity to the table. I kinda feel like
inherently, like femininity really means like owning who you are
and as long as you're coming from an honest place, like bitch you're not, like people can't
really discredit
talent.
"In the future, there will be no female leaders.
There will just be leaders." -Sheryl Sandberg
What if, for a moment, we surrender everything we think we are?
What if I'm not a woman? Black, American, short,
voluptuous, poor? What if I evolve beyond all the things I claim to be?
What would be left?
Who would I be? What would I do? What
would I seek? I believe that in the mind of God,
Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, spirit, universe, whatever force you claim,
nowhere was smallness a part of the plan. You are not meant to be mindless.
You are not meant to be a slave to an environment that does not grow you.
Open up and let the world love you. This is your birthright
and something in you knows this, but getting to it is the sludge you must pass
through to access
everything that's next. I used to allow the passive aggression of others
to shame me into silence. Tried to resist internalizing it, but subconsciously
would wonder
why I wasn't good enough. I used to hide my art because I was ashamed of it.
Too much truth in these stanzas, not enough structure and sugar coating, not enough
whisper in my woman for the comfort of men, see, we are raised
to stay in our place, to not shake things up. This is continually reinforced, but
every person who has ever made a difference on this earth at some point, spoke up,
put in work. Every one of them had to learn how to get back
up and I am reminded. I'm reminded of things I know in the strangest of places
a trampoline is where I found my grace. Somewhere between bounce and land,
watch these tiny children run and fall and get back up.
Watch a grown man flip and fold. Watch my friend perfect a trick.
My eyes swallowed them whole. My spirit craved the thing my body was most
afraid of: the freedom
in flight. See, I wanted to flip, to allow this neglected
body to exist in free fall, but I was afraid of falling,
afraid I would look stupid, afraid someone from across the way would notice
the big of
me trying something not meant for my size. I was paralyzed,
couldn't allow myself to let go enough to fall head over heels, so I bounced.
In a single square, in a room full of trampolines,
I stayed in my place, but there is no power in that.
No beauty in the fear of feeling this body resist the spirit. I am
more than the limitations I've set for myself. I am more than what the world
tells me I can be. I am not just this skin,
not just the things I do, I'm a culmination of every thought in the most
high which makes my existence holy and,
and what if I tried on worthy for size? See, I've wasted
so many hours worried. Sick to my stomach about frivolous matters and avoided my
truth.
What if fear didn't control me? What if I didn't let my past define me?
What then would fill the space of where my fears lived?
I think knowing this would. See, I know now that I was
I was born to write, to express,
to remind the timid to be brave, so I will not behave,
will not settle into the mundane standard society has set for me
as an overweight, black, American woman. I will love myself enough
to chase these dreams, to jump for joy
to rise in love and fall right out of self-hate because
I was born. See, I was born to be great.
How do you fight for gender equality?
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