- Hi there, I'm your English coach Christina
and welcome to Speak English with Christina
where you'll learn about American culture
and business know-how to become confident in English.
One situation which requires a lot of confidence
in any language is dealing with rude
or aggressive coworkers.
And if you're learning American English,
these uncomfortable situations
can be even more challenging.
You may not know what to say to keep
the confrontation professional and calm.
A rude or aggressive coworker
can be very difficult to manage.
So you need tactics to deal with these people.
Your coworker may lose their cool as we say,
lose their self-control, but you don't have to
and you'll look more professional for it.
So today you'll get some techniques on
how to deal with a rude or aggressive people at work
so that you can better manage these situations in English,
and stay calm and confident.
Let's go.
(upbeat music)
Obviously violent behavior,
sexual harassment, and discrimination
are not acceptable and that isn't
what I'm talking about in this episode.
The aggressive behavior I'm referring to is more verbal
such as scaring or physical, such as like
slamming your fist on the desk or slamming a door shut.
We're also talking about rude behavior
such as spreading rumors or saying something insulting.
Let's learn how to address these situations in a calm,
direct, and effective way and make your workplace healthier
and more productive.
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There are times when work can be very stressful.
People have different ways to handle stress.
Some people take a walk,
count to 10,
or go for a run
and others may shout,
slam a door.
Basically, those people don't have healthy ways
to handle their stress.
For these people,
they might react to a difficult situation
by being aggressive and if you respond aggressively,
it's likely that you'll aggravate the situation.
So it's best to handle aggressive
or rude people directly and calmly.
Unfortunately, it's easy for our emotions
to get the best of us.
If it's a high stress, difficult situation,
we might let our anger influence our behavior
and to the risk of that.
The important thing here is to keep the main
subject in focus.
In other words, stay constructive.
Always bring your colleague back to the main subject
and remind them of common goals,
and how collaboration is the only way
to achieve those goals.
To do so, you can acknowledge what's important.
For example,
Steve, I understand that you're angry
that the vendor didn't send approval.
But let's figure out
how we can find a solution and stay on schedule.
Or Lisa, I understand that the client is upset.
Let's figure out a solution together
to fix this as quickly as possible.
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Sometimes a colleague may react to what you say
by trying to humiliate you or suggest that your opinion
is not credible.
For example, your colleague may say,
you believe that,
or really,
or are you sure of your facts?
You may feel insulted.
Whatever you do, don't react defensively.
Simply take a moment to collect your thoughts
and stand your ground.
Look at your colleague in the eye and even smile a little,
if you can manage it and say,
yes, I'm sure.
Or thank you for bringing that to my attention, however.
And this way, you show that you are firm in your beliefs,
your facts or your decision.
Of course, it's a good idea to have a hard fact and data
to support your position,
and to be ready to share these and your source
for these facts with your coworker.
It'll be hard for them to argue with facts.
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One example of aggressive or rude behavior
in the workplace is interruptions during a meeting.
For example, you may be in a meeting with your team
or one of your colleagues aggressively interrupts
another coworker who is speaking.
Well, in some cultures,
this might be considered normal to interrupt others.
In American culture,
and especially if it's done aggressively,
this behavior should not be tolerated.
You can call out your rude colleagues behavior politely
and say, please, Jason.
Carla was speaking.
Or Jason, please let Carla finish her thought.
Or wait a minute, Jason, I'd like to hear
what Carla has to say here.
Sometimes that's all that is required
to call out the rude behavior directly
and ask the aggressor to stop.
(upbeat music)
Sometimes when your coworker is rude or aggressive,
it's because they feel like no one is listening to them
or no one understands them,
and as hard as it may be, try to see the situation
from their perspective.
When you genuinely listened to your coworker
because you wanna understand them,
it shows and by demonstrating empathy,
and an openness to listen,
they may naturally calm themselves down.
You could also try simple phrases such as,
I hear what you're saying,
and I'd like to hear more about your point of view.
Or I wasn't aware of this, so thanks for letting me know.
It also helps to repeat what your colleague said
so that they know that you are listening.
For example, I understand that you feel left out,
because you weren't copied in on that email.
That must be very frustrating, and I understand.
And if it gets really out of hand, just, just be silly.
Roll up some paper, like a megaphone.
Pretend that it's a hostage situation
and show that you are listening to their needs.
Something like, John, we understand your situation.
Please, think about your coworkers.
Put down this stapler and let's go have a coffee break!
(upbeat music)
Sometimes you or your coworker may just need a few minutes
to cool off.
A change in environment can be particularly helpful.
For example, you could say, Carol,
I see that you're frustrated.
Do you wanna go outside and go for a quick walk with me?
Or maybe we both need a break for a few minutes.
Let's take a break and come back after
we've had some fresh air.
And with these tips and expressions,
you'll be able to diffuse many situations
where you need to deal with a rude or aggressive coworkers.
It's not a comfortable situation,
but with the right words and attitude
you can handle the situation confidently, even in English.
(upbeat music)
Now what about you?
Has there been a situation at work
where you successfully dealt
with an aggressive or rude coworker?
What did you say to resolve the situation?
Please, share your ideas in the comments.
After all, this is not an easy situation
and your ideas will surely help others who need it.
I'm looking forward to reading your comments
and thanks so much for learning English,
Speak English with Christina, I'll see you next time.