- Every lawyer always puts their client's interest first
and is always a paragon of virtue.
(chuckles) All right, I couldn't even say that
with this a straight face,
but the vast majority of attorneys serve their clients
with honor and distinction.
Well, the majority. A majority of lawyers...
No.
Some lawyers serve their clients with honor and distinction,
and yet, lawyers have long been the target of jokes
and media portrayals that depict us
as a uniquely unethical occupation.
- And as for your case, don't you worry.
I've argued in front of every judge in the state,
often as a lawyer.
- But even though most lawyers
choose the straight and narrow path,
others have broken bad.
So today let's not talk about those good lawyers
you never hear about,
let's talk about when lawyers have gone wild.
- And the truth shall set you free!
- So let's start with a lawyer who defrauds, yes,
a nine-year-old girl with grandpa's help.
Now, one of the cardinal duties of legal representation
is undivided loyalty to clients.
Under this ethical mandate, lawyers have a legal obligation
not to enrich themselves to the client's detriment
and to zealously advocate for a client's interests
above our own personal desires.
But that's exactly what Vincent J. Trimarco, Jr. did not do.
He's a Long Island litigator
who conspired with client Gary Eriksen
to slowly steal $2 million of inheritance
from Eriksen's nine-year-old granddaughter
and Trimarco's client, Rebecca Schaefer.
Now Miss Schaefer was set to receive millions
from a federal wrongful death settlement
involving her father who died at age 20 in jail
while serving a misdemeanor for drug charges.
From April 2012 through August 2017,
Trimarco and the co-conspirator grandfather
orchestrated a scheme to steal millions of dollars
from a fatherless child.
They purchased luxury vehicles,
including a Ferrari 430 Spider for $200,000
and a Jaguar XKR Convertible for $57,000,
and they spent over $600,000 to purchase several properties
throughout Suffolk County, New York.
And they even invested over $800,000 of ill-gotten gains
in The Emporium, a now defunct nightclub
and music venue in New York
that Trimarco was at times part owner of.
And while Mr. Trimarco must have gotten his legal training
from the Lionel Hutz school of law,
Clearly the grandfather learned his family skills
from Lucille Bluth.
- Oh, don't give me that look.
I happen to be a more caring mother than most.
- And in October 2017,
federal prosecutors unveiled 19-count indictment
against Trimarco for conspiracy to commit mail fraud,
wire fraud, money laundering,
and other charges related to the multi-million dollar theft.
Grandfather Eriksen, who died before the investigation
was completed, was named as an unindicted co-conspirator.
But in October 2020, Trimarco pleaded guilty to the charges.
In announcing the sentence,
U.S. attorney Breon Peace outlined
why Trimarco's breach of his fiduciary duty
to his client was so egregious.
Quote, "Trimarco's theft of a seven-figure inheritance
"from a child so that he could purchase luxury vehicles
"and invest in real estate is a disgraceful breach of trust
"and betrayal of his time-honored duties as an attorney.
"His conduct is an affront to the courts,
"the bar, and the community at large.
"Today's sentence should serve as a warning
"that this office will prosecute corrupt attorneys
"who abuse their positions
"and break the law for personal gain."
And in December 2021, Trimarco was sentenced
to 57 months in prison,
ordered to pay restitution of $1.5 million,
and forfeit the amount of $1.5 million.
And shortly after sentencing,
the New York Grievance Committee,
which regulates attorney conduct in the state,
retroactively disbarred Trimarco
as of his October 2020 guilty plea.
But it's not just lawyers who have gone bad,
it's also judges,
and that takes us to these shirtless judge
who sent explicit photos of himself to the bailiff
and then impregnated a witness in his judicial chambers.
Now, judges have this reputation
for being stuffy, humorless old men in robes,
but in the case of Judge Wade Harper McCree,
who is neither old, stuffy, nor humorless,
he would still be a judge if he had kept his robe on
because in 2012, Judge McCree was serving
on the Third Circuit Court in Wayne County, Michigan,
where he specialized in sexual misconduct cases.
No, I'm not making that up.
You would think that with that experience
he would've known better
than send bare-chested photo of himself to a female bailiff.
(person screaming)
This is inappropriate workplace conduct,
and neither the bailiff, nor her husband found it amusing.
The judge, who was also married,
was confronted with a printout of the photo by local news
by replying, "Hot dog. Yep, that's me."
(sighs) McCree, whose father served
under President Jimmy Carter
as the second African American solicitor general
in the United States' history,
was unbothered by the misconduct allegation,
stating, quote, "I've got no shame in my game."
Good God, man.
But he later admitted to sending the photo to other women.
Now, Judge McCree might have been able
to weather this sexting scandal,
but his inability to keep it in his robe
led to a spectacular public downfall.
While presiding over a child support case in 2013,
Judge McCree repeatedly used his judicial chambers
for extramarital trysts with a witness in his case.
- [Lawyer] Between May and November of 2012,
did you engage in sexual conduct with Judge McCree?
- Yes, I did.
- Sneak the witness a cell phone
in violation of security protocol
so that he could regularly text her during trial,
got the witness pregnant,
urged her to terminate the pregnancy,
and then repeatedly lied about the episode under oath.
- No, it's salesman's puffery.
- Not surprisingly, the judge was formally removed
from the bench in 2014,
barred from being a judge for six years,
I don't know why only six years,
and following a three-year suspension of his law license,
the shirtless judge's license was reinstated in 2020.
So now that McCree has been given a second chance
at a legal practice, perhaps going forward
he could stand to have just a little more shame in his game.
But that takes us to the caveman lawyer
who stalked his ex-girlfriend,
repeatedly shoots her office with a crossbow,
and got disbarred for it.
Now what sets modern man apart from Neanderthal ancestors
is the ability to work out disputes using words
instead of brute force.
Sometimes.
But in the case of Steven A. Weinkauf,
this California caveman lawyer decided
that the way to address his hurt feelings
toward his lawyer ex-girlfriend was not to use his words
but his crossbow,
and it cost him his law license, his reputation,
and millions of dollars because in the early 2010s,
Weinkauf began a romantic relationship
with fellow attorney Adriana last name redacted
when they worked together
in the San Francisco County Public Guardian's office.
The relationship ended in December 2013,
and while the girlfriend moved on, Weinkauf did not.
The girlfriend installed security cameras at her law office
after finding crossbow arrows
shot into her building's windows
in April, June, and August of 2015.
And in January 2017, surveillance video showed
someone in a red Jeep firing a gun at the building,
cracking a window.
Five days later, the same red Jeep drove by at night
and fired another crossbow at the office,
and the girlfriend was able to identify her assailant
as none other than Weinkauf.
Weinkauf was arrested and convicted of felony stalking
with enhanced felonies for using a deadly weapon.
The state bar deemed this offense moral turpitude
and Weinkauf was disbarred in 2020.
That same year Weinkauf was found civilly liable
for stalking, intentional infliction of emotional distress,
and domestic violence against his ex-girlfriend.
At trial, Weinkauf admitted to shooting
the crossbow one time, but denied the other incidents
because it was some other crossbow-wielding maniac.
But not surprisingly,
the jury did not believe Weinkauf's claim
of another crossbower menacing the ex-girlfriend
and awarded her $1.3 million in damages,
plus over $900,000 in attorney's fees and costs.
In March 2022, the California Court of Appeals
upheld the multimillion-dollar judgment.
The takeaway here though is while there may be
hypothetically situations
where a crossbow can solve your problems,
a broken heart is not one of those things.
Obviously for that you need a trebuchet.
(trebuchet whooshing)
(projectile whooshing)
(crowd cheering)
But that takes us to the Florida judge
who throws down with a public defender
and gets thrown off the bench.
Because when a headline begins with Florida man
or Florida woman, you know you're about to read
something that's equal parts bonkers, hilarious,
and just a dash of "I'm so glad that that's not me."
(headlines thudding)
But when the headline is "Florida judge,"
well, it's all those things ramped up to 11,
and such was the tale of John C. Murphy,
a Florida judge who decided to settle a procedural dispute
with a public defender in the most Floridian way possible,
by challenging him to a fist fight.
Eh, now that I think about it,
I mean, duel, challenging someone to a duel
is probably the most Floridian way,
but fist fight is a close second.
- I demand satisfaction.
(glove slapping) - Oh!
- I challenge you to a duel.
- Hey, a duel?
- Anyway, on June 2nd, 2014,
Assistant Public Defender Andrew Weinstock
and Brevard County Judge John Murphy
we're engaged in a war of words over Mr. Weinstock's refusal
to waive his client's right to a speedy trial,
which is a very routine matter
that is typically resolved amicably
in open court with words.
But not this judge.
No, when Weinstock refused to waive
his client's speedy trial rights,
Judge Murphy exploded.
- [Judge Murphy] If you wanna fight, let's go out back
and I'll just beat your ass. - Let's go right now.
(attendees chattering)
- [Judge Murphy] Ah! I'm gonna get you.
You wanna (beep) with me.
(attendees chattering)
Do you? All right!
- But Weinstock stood his ground against the irate jurist,
and that's when Judge Murphy decided to turn
his pretrial hearing into a trial by combat.
Unfortunately, as Weinstock would soon see,
Judge Murphy, a former colonel in the army
and Afghanistan veteran, had plenty of experience
settling disputes on the battlefield.
Weinstock follows Judge Murphy out of the courtroom
and into the hallway
as sounds of a struggle can be heard off camera.
And according to reports, a sheriff's deputy
witnessed the men gripping one another
around the collars of their suit jackets while screaming.
The Florida judge allegedly punched Weinstock in the face
before a pair of deputies broke up the fight.
Weinstock was reassigned to another courtroom
to avoid a second confrontation.
When Judge Murphy returned to the courtroom,
because this is Florida, he was greeted with laughter
and thunderous applause.
(attendees applauding)
- [Judge Murphy] I will catch my breath eventually.
Man, I'm an old man.
- But with Weinstock no longer present
to defend his clients,
Judge Murphy obtained speedy trial waivers
from Weinstock's unrepresented defendants,
probably because they had just seen the judge
pummel the crap out of their lawyer.
- In bird culture, this is considered a dick move.
- But it's also what we lawyer guys refer to
as a huge ethical violation.
Judge Murphy issued a public apology,
enrolled in anger management classes,
and took a four-week paid leave of absence
and was reassigned from criminal to civil cases.
Weinstock resigned in protest
after Public Defender Blaise Trettis declared his support
for Judge Murphy's return to the bench.
Judge Murphy went viral for the video
and was dubbed the, quote, "fighting judge,"
but not everyone was amused.
In 2015, the Supreme Court of Florida removed Judge Murphy
from the bench, overruling the state disciplinary board,
which, again, I can't emphasize this enough,
because it was Florida only had recommended
a four-month suspension and a $50,000 fine.
The Court acknowledged, quote,
"It is without question that except for the June 2nd,
"2014 incident, Judge Murphy had been a good judge."
Nevertheless, the court concluded that Judge Murphy had,
quote, "surrendered his privilege" to serve as a judge
after threatening violence
against the attorney appearing before him,
fighting that attorney,
and then inducing the attorney's unrepresented clients
to accept speedy trial waivers.
Quote, "Judge Murphy's total lack of self-control
"became a national spectacle,
"an embarrassment not only to the judge himself,
"but also to Florida's judicial system.
"Given the clear erosion of public confidence
"in the judiciary cause by his misconduct,
"removal is an appropriate sanction."
And I have to say if there's one takeaway from this case
it's that not even the honor of being an elected judge
is enough to overcome the force that compels residents
of the Sunshine State to transform into Florida man.
But that takes us to a couple of lawyers
you might have heard something about.
- Good evening, America.
We are Mark and Patty McCloskey.
- They are the Missouri personal injury lawyers
who spent decades suing everyone for everything,
then they waved their guns at BLM protestors,
became MAGA celebrities,
and then they sued even more people.
Now, personal injury attorneys are often referred to
as ambulance chasers
due to a reputation for filing costly frivolous suits.
But in the case of Missouri personal injury lawyers
Patricia and Mark McCloskey,
it turns out all you need to do
is basically look at them the wrong way
and they'll sue you.
♪ I'll sue ya ♪
♪ I'll take all your money ♪
♪ I'll sue ya if you even look at me funny ♪
- Or they'll point their guns at your face.
♪ He'll sue ya ♪
♪ He'll put a gun in your face ♪
♪ She'll shoot ya probably because of your race ♪
- Now, you've likely seen this viral photo from June 2020
when the McCloskeys pointed firearms at BLM protesters
marching past their St Louis home.
But that's not their first public spectacle.
Here's how Jeremy Kohler of the "St. Louis Dispatch"
described the couple following a review of public records.
Quote, "The McCloskeys are almost always in conflict
"with others, typically over control of private property,
"what people can do on that property,
"and whose job it is to make sure they do it."
Now, among there many, many legal fights,
it includes suing to obtain their home,
a castle originally built by Adolphus Busch,
co-founder of Anheuser-Busch,
suing a man who sold them a Maserati
they claimed was supposed to come
with a box of hard-to-find parts,
and fighting their HOA to acquire 1,100 square feet
of a triangle of lawn designated as a common area
for the neighborhood.
Now, one notable McCloskey dispute
bordered on cartoon villainy.
In 2013, Mark McCloskey allegedly destroyed beehives
placed outside his mansion's northern wall
by the neighboring Jewish Central Reform Congregation,
then left a note saying
that if the mess wasn't cleaned up quickly
he'd seek a restraining order and attorney's fees.
The congregation was planning to harvest the honey
and apples on the property for the Jewish new year,
and according to Rabbi Susan Talve, quote,
"The children were crying in school.
"It was part of our curriculum."
Now, Mark McCloskey denied destroying the hives,
and a Snopes investigation was unable to confirm
who killed the bees.
- No! Not the bees!
Not the bees!
- Now flash-forward to June 2020
when a group of several hundred BLM demonstrators
marched on the home of St. Louis Mayor Lyda Krewson.
Mayor Krewson had triggered fierce backlash
when during a Facebook Live post
she read the full names and addresses
of George Floyd protestors who had written letters
encouraging her to defund police departments.
Critics accused her of doxing critics
to open them up to public harassment and retaliation.
And on June 28th, protestors marched toward Krewson's home
along a street called Portland Place
which is blocked with heavy iron gates
and signs marked "Private property."
But one of the houses on Portland Place
is a Renaissance-style palazzo owned by,
you guessed it, Patricia and Mark McCloskey.
When the demonstrators crossed paths with the McCloskeys,
the pair countered the protestors' First Amendment rights
by threatening them with their Second Amendment rights.
Mr. McCloskey stepped onto his patio holding a rifle
and yelled, "Get the hell out of my neighborhood,"
and, "Private property, get out."
After McCloskey brandished his rifle,
Mrs. McCloskey then came out of the door barefoot
wielding a small silver pistol
and aimed it directly to the demonstrators.
The entire confrontation lasted about 12 minutes,
after which the protestors converged
on Mayor Krewson's home for several hours of protest.
But the McCloskeys immediately became the couple
who launched a thousand memes and lawsuits
because the McCloskeys sued the photographer
who took their viral photograph,
the online retailer who used that photo to sell products
with their unflattering captions.
And while the couple became MAGA celebrities-
- They were gonna be beat up badly
and the house was gonna be totally ransacked
and probably burned down,
like they try to burn down churches.
- In June 2021, the McCloskeys pleaded guilty
to misdemeanor offenses,
Mark for fourth-degree assault with a $750 fine
and Patricia for harassment with a $2,000 fine.
The couple was required to surrender their guns
for destruction, and Mark McCloskey wasted no time
in blaming the person actually responsible for all of this,
George Soros.
But in August of 2021, Missouri Governor Mike Parson
pardoned the McCloskeys, which he had promised to do
if they were convicted.
The McCloskeys, true to form,
then immediately sued the city, the sheriff, and the state
alleging the pardon entitled them
to have their guns returned and fines refunded.
But in February of 2022, the Missouri Supreme Court
subjected the McCloskeys law licenses
to a one-year probationary period.
After the ruling, Mark McCloskey said
that he was disappointed the court disciplined him at all
and announced he was considering asking
the U.S. Supreme Court to review the case.
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