imagine
that you just received some negative
information
about me just before this talk
maybe he or she who's with you today has
heard some rumors about me
some rumors about me being incompetent
being a liar being a bragger
that i wear women's underwear
how much do you think that would affect
your image of me
right now
as a psychotherapist working with
occupational health i met countless
employees and leaders
who are suffering from a toxic and
unhealthy working environment
they are struggling because they're
lacking knowledge
how to change the environment they need
outside help
i've tried to help them and failed times
and times again
i tried conflict resolutions
group discussions individual interviews
leadership coaching failing time and
time again
to change this unhealthy working
environment
so 10 years ago
i started a little investigation of my
own i was trying to figure out
why is it so hard to change and i found
out that
a great number of employees and leaders
were talking negatively about their
colleagues
when they were not present namely
backbiting
so the definition of backbiting is
talking negatively
about the third person who's not present
i have a question for you all
please raise your hand if you think
backfighting takes place at your
workplace
or place of study please raise your hand
wow okay thank you very much
it's not exact but i think about 90
percent of you
raised your hand
in ancient greece the great
philosopher's sucratas
met an acquaintance on the street and
the acquaintance said
hey sucra this have you heard the latest
news about your friend
and sukrada says no but before you tell
me this news
i wanted to pass a little test it's
called the triple filter test
the triple filter test i said okay
first question do you know what you're
going to tell me about my friend
is it true oh no i i just heard it i
don't i don't know
okay you could still pass the test
the second question is it anything good
you're going to tell me about my friend
oh no on the contrary he said nothing
good
okay you may still pass the test
the third question is
what you're going to tell me is it
useful oh no it's not useful
okay socrates said first of all you
don't know if it's true
second is nothing good third of all
it's nothing useful why bother tell me
do you know who in our society today
that back fights
yes women
it's women
it's another major group as well namely
men
and why do we back bite
when i backbite i've got this feeling of
elevating myself while talking other
people down
in an additional bonus i seem
interesting
because i got some juicy information
that you don't have
this is how we as adults are
bullying each other
i have a second question for you
please raise your hand if you want to
work in a place there is no
backbiting going on no gossip
okay thank you very much
it's interesting right
how to get the permanent end to
backbiting i've done one genius thing in
my life
i think this is it i call it gossip
2016.
and this is how you can all apply it in
your workplace if you want to
first of all you gather a group perhaps
not as many as you
are second of all you ask the first
question do you believe backpacking
takes place here
and they will raise their hand
third you need to define what backbiting
is
use this triple filter test it's good
right
fourth ask the second question
would you like to work in a workplace
where there is no backbiting
and they will raise their hand
then you get a good old-fashioned
flipper
and you capitalize gossip 2016
and you ask your group if they want to
join to
a project that will last for six months
no backbiting
takes place here and they will
sign this is what obligates them
after they signed you get this seat in
the glass and frame
you put it on the wall where everybody
can see it
and for every week for the next six
months
you ask the group how are we doing with
gossip 2016
this may say seem simple
maybe naive too good to be true right
but it works i know
and i have over i don't have but it's
over 250 ceos
in different companies that could verify
this
it works they can also tell you that
absenteeism sick leave goes down
and fractionation are minimized
and the productivity is increasing
if we take this concept a bit further
you all heard about the discussions
about how young people
and children are being bullied at
schools
and in social medias
i think that i as an adult has a
responsibility
to be a good role model i have to stop
talking negatively about my uncle
about my neighbor about my colleague
about my mother-in-law around the dinner
table at home
because if i don't do that i'm actually
saying to my children
it's okay to talk negatively about the
third person who's not there
new consciousness commits
thank you for attention