- In this video,
I'm gonna show you to have more magnetic energy
than you can even imagine so that people literally chase you
and that you can then also, in this video,
I'm gonna show you how to emotionally manipulate men
into chasing you.
I'm just kidding. (giggles)
I'm not gonna do that, but I am going to react
to an article that is all about how to get a man
to chase you.
I'm gonna show you which parts of it are healthy,
which parts of it are toxic, and what you can actually do
to emanate energy that is magnetic from the inside out.
Now, first off, I found this website,
just typed it in on Google to see what is the common advice
that is being shared with the public
so that we could like look at this
and then break down the beliefs
that are toxic or not healthy
and then really reestablish a way of being
that actually will serve you and actually works as well.
So I found this website.
It's called LovePanky
and the title of the article
is "How to Make a Man Chase You:
20 Subtle Ways to Get Him to Fall Hard."
Okay. This is juicy.
This is so juicy.
Okay, let's go down.
Not that way.
We're gonna go down on the website. Okay.
It says, okay, how to make a man chase you:
20 powerful, but subtle ways to really work.
Now, number one, you are busy.
It says you're busy.
I mean, you could be sitting on the couch
watching "The Vampire Diaries" all day,
but the point is you need to show him you're busy.
You can't always answer his messages right away
or hang out with him at the drop of a hat.
If he needs a 24-hour companion, he should get a dog.
He needs to know that you have other things going on.
So let me ask you,
do you think that this is healthy or this is toxic?
Which one do you think?
This, of course, is a toxic energy.
The thing is, is if we are leading with being different
than what is actually natural or authentic,
we are going to attract people that also play those games.
If you want somebody that's emotionally available,
you should lead with vulnerability.
If you want somebody that you're gonna play games with,
you should listen to this.
You should pretend to be busy.
So the difference with this energy
is the attachment to the outcome.
They're different.
If you are being the real you
and you wanna know if someone's interested in you,
you can literally show them that you're interested in them.
Now the difference is, of course, the neediness.
So let's first off define magnetic energy
and energy that repels.
Magnetic energy is energy that is not needy.
Energy that repels is needy.
The degree to which you have magnetic energy
will depend upon the degree to energy
where you are not needy.
Now, if you're showing you're busy,
what that means is you might be needy,
wanting their approval, wanting their validation,
but not showing them that neediness
because you don't wanna get rejected or abandoned.
Now the challenge and the core thing here
is actually the neediness.
Now, the thing to become aware of is that the difference
between these approaches
is that if we are attached to outcome,
we are doing something
in order to get something out of somebody else.
Now, what sometimes happens is people are needy.
And one of the reasons people are needy
is because in childhood,
there was a feeling of not having the needs met as a kid
and then what we do is we search for our partners
and the people we're dating
to give us those things that weren't met.
So we might want someone to chase us
because we have not felt appreciated as kids
so if we could get somebody to chase us,
then we would feel validated and approved of,
but this is built upon that core wound.
And the thing that as we go through this article today
and look at these different points,
become aware of what familiar energy
you may have an addiction to
or a desire for some type of outcome.
Because when we are doing something
to get something out of it, that is manipulative energy.
And when we are even pretending to be busy,
it's because we want them to perceive us a certain way.
We care about what they think about us.
And my question to you is,
when you were growing up,
did you care what mom and dad thought about you?
Did they approve of who you are and your appearance?
I say that because I know growing up,
I had to look a certain way.
My dad's a firefighter
so I had to tuck in my shirt, comb back my hair.
I wasn't allowed to have long hair.
And that breeded me to become
what's called a people pleaser,
where I was pleasing everybody else
so that I could get their validation and approval
because I didn't naturally feel it for myself.
And that became a core wound where then I would date woman
and it would feel like there was a lack of polarity there
because I was just trying to be nice
and that would depo the relationships.
So what you wanna do is let go of the people pleasing
and realize that that comes from parent pleasing.
And if there's a desire to like look busy, why?
Why look busy?
Because of what you think it'll get you.
You think it'll get you approval, validation, or support.
And the awareness here is what really the core issue is.
The core issue is not pretending to be busy.
It's that there's a desire for validation or approval.
So firstly, 90% of all transformation by the way
is becoming aware of these things.
Because even deeper than that by the way
is normally there's an abandonment energy
where you may have felt physically
or emotionally abandoned as a kid.
And you felt like you had to leave being the real you
in order to get other people's validation or approval.
And the key to actually having magnetic energy
is being the real you.
And you might say,
"Well, maybe the real me is just really nice."
Nice is different than kind.
Nice is I'm gonna be this way to you
so that I get from you, your validation or support.
I've even asked my dad this before.
My dad's such a nice guy
and that's where I had to shed that pattern.
And being nice is like, it's manipulative.
It's, I'm being this way in order to get something back.
And I had to learn how to be kind.
Kind is not attached to outcome.
You're kind 'cause it's who you are
and you choose to be that way
whether the person is mean to you, nice to you,
gives you that approval or not.
So that's the first thing here.
Now let's move down a little bit.
Number four says, "Don't let him think he's the one,
'cause he's not."
Listen, there are a couple guys at least
that are trying to get the opportunity to date you,
but you must show him he's not the only one.
Show pictures of you on Instagram (giggles)
with other people or tag them in statuses.
Point is, he needs to know that you're in demand.
The more in demand he thinks you are,
the harder and longer he'll be willing to pursue
and chase you.
So once again, is this healthy or toxic?
When we look at this, now I will say,
it reminds me of my childhood in a way
'cause I have a friend growing up
that was so good with chicks.
And one thing he would do is when he was with chicks,
he would take a whole bunch of like photos
and like stuff on social media with chicks
because then it would make him look high demand
and it would actually work.
However, when we look at this,
you are going to attract a certain type of person
by doing that.
Now if you, once again,
the difference here is not what you're doing,
but it's the reason you're doing it.
If you are trying to look busy
or trying to make it look like you have other options,
that is manipulative energy that will breed people
that play off of that manipulative energy.
But if you are instead vulnerable,
let's say you really do have options
and you're really showing your life,
that's a different story.
There's nothing wrong with that.
It's the intention and the attachment to the outcome here
that changes everything.
To do something, to get something in return is manipulation.
And what you wanna do is instead of focusing
on what they think and how they feel
and what they're doing and even wanting them to chase you,
the attention is pulling your energy back
and putting it on you.
Put the energy back on you.
That's the key to this process,
because attractive energy is when you're in your own frame.
It's when you're in your own magnetic energy.
When you're not seeking approval or validation
from other people,
that's when you are the most magnetic.
And the way that you do this is by becoming aware
of where you're diffusing your energy.
Are you sending your energy to someone else
and you want them to think a certain way about you
and want them to feel a certain way about you?
Everything changed for me, by the way,
when I was like becoming aware
of the people-pleasing mentality, the nice guy syndrome.
And I could tell that for so long I was seeking
and like sending energy
and then I would want someone to text me back
and it was all this externalization of power.
Eventually, what I did
is I brought that energy back to myself
and I started focusing on my own life.
I started focusing on my purpose.
I started even, like the questions are different
when you're dating someone.
And let's say, you want them to like you
or you want them to chase you,
you're gonna think certain questions in your mind.
And you're gonna think, how do I look to this person?
Or how do they feel about me?
But imagine you start asking yourself the question:
Do I resonate with this person?
Does this person have the same values as me?
Is this person someone that respects my boundaries?
Are there red flags with this person?
There's different questions that you ask
that breeds a different type of energy.
And a lot of the things in this article that I'm seeing
are all tuning to the other person
to get them to do something.
And the game changer is when you instead focus in
on your own energy and you start to ask yourself a questions
from a more empowered place.
Do I resonate with this person?
I wonder if this person is going to,
if I'm gonna feel connected to this person?
Asking these questions really changes the energy
from which you meet this person.
Because for a long time, I was like,
I could tell that when I was dating someone,
I was trying to get their approval and validation
and then the information changed.
I started asking myself,
"Is this someone I really even resonate with?"
And guess what?
I'm more inside my own frame.
I'm not tuning to them for support and validation.
These are all something to think about.
Another one of these, of course,
to show you have a life, similar.
You have friends, you have a job, you go to school.
You need to show you have a healthy life
that isn't influenced by a guy.
So once again, you're showing that you have a healthy life
that isn't influenced by a guy.
Instead of doing that, don't show them that to get them
to like be attracted to you.
It could be powerful advice for you
to not put all your energy into this guy.
Because remember, where you put energy,
you're sending energy.
And if you're feeling resistance
because the guy's not coming around
or it's not here yet, you're literally repelling that.
So the key to this is to actually set yourself up in a life
where you have a good friend system or ecosystem
or a high vibe tribe
or you have like other things going on in your life.
Like you're focused on your purpose.
I think a lot of times, I mean, I've made so many,
like 2000 videos on YouTube.
I have seen one of the biggest challenges people have
is they put all their focus on attracting love.
And because all their focus is on attracting love
and because there's resistance,
it ends up breeding more resistance
and people then have a challenge
when it comes to that process of just even attracting it
because the energy is resistance.
The key to this is once again bringing your energy back
and realizing that you can emanate this energy
from the inside out
by knowing that you're worthy, knowing that you're enough,
and not tuning to get their validation or their support.
Another one of this says, be sexy.
Now you don't have to dress like someone you're not,
but you can amp up your sexiness
by enhancing features that you naturally have.
It doesn't mean get your lips filled,
but it can mean lipstick, showing off your curves.
Men are so visual that it drives them crazy.
So once again, if you're being sexy,
be sexy not to get their approval or validation.
Be sexy 'cause it's who you are.
Be sexy 'cause you it's how it makes you feel.
There's a good piece of advice in here.
Number 13 says, don't focus on him.
This is a weird law of the universe.
When you don't pay attention to the guy you like,
which is hard, he comes to you.
When you pay attention, he's nowhere to be seen.
So what you need to do is kind of ignore the guy you like.
I know, but we didn't make this rule, the universe did.
What the universe really made the rule of
is that attachment creates suffering.
So the Buddha himself said, apparently:
Attachment breeds suffering.
Attachment is when you make something that is not you, you
and then you clinging to it.
It is a powerful advice to not cling
to the guy that you're talking, to the guy you're dating,
but it's not that you're gonna do it to get him.
It's you're going to actually have things in your life
that you focus on
because that's how you choose to focus in the world.
It's not to just make one person
your center point of gravity and happiness.
Instead of putting all your energy on him or the person,
put your energy on yourself and your own life.
Not 'cause it's gonna get him, but because that's healthy.
It is healthy for that.
And it is funny though that when you're not focused,
because think about what I was saying earlier.
When you send someone energy, they feel that.
And when you are thinking about them,
they're feeling the energy.
And if you're feeling resistance
and things aren't going your way,
it's literally repelling them.
If you take back your energy
and you put it back into yourself,
that is also something that I call the frame technique,
when you put the awareness in your hands and your feet,
it has so much more magnetic energy
than you can even imagine.
So one of the things you begin to do that changes everything
is putting the awareness back in yourself,
not focusing on them
and not trying to get his validation or approval
in order to get the needs met that weren't met as a kid.
Now, one of the most powerful meditations that I have,
by the way, that will help you to heal your inner child
is an inner child meditation
that I've created a long time ago
and I've seen so many people transform from this meditation.
And this is so that you can help like give your inner child
what you crave
so that you can start feeling more magnetic than ever
and you can get rid of the wound
of trying to chase validation, significance,
or that kind of approval.
So if you haven't listened to that meditation yet,
it's completely free.
Go to aarondoughty/child
or click the link of the top of the description box below.
It's the inner child meditation, but aarondoughty/child.
And then also if you want a video
that's going to help you have more magnetic energy
than ever before by letting go of five simple things,
watch this video right here.
It will change your life.
In this video, I wanna share you five secrets
to letting go that will make you more attractive
and that will completely transform your life.
And when you start applying them, it changes everything
because you start realizing who you really are
and you start letting go.