You are getting very sleepy...
SHUT UP!
*the doorbell rings*
Greetings sir, We're with the Church of religitoligy.
Would you like to take a sexiness test?
Wh-Why you guys are wearing bath robes?
These aren't bath robes, these are ceremonial robes of our people.
Wait, are you guys part of a cult or something?
Of course not, Religitology isn't a cult, it's just a fun bunch of people having a good time!
Now let's check your sexy levels.
*beep*
Oh my Herman...
What?
-5?
Your sexiness levels are dangerously low.
You need to come to our seminar to replenish your sexy.
Sorry... I don't know if i...
There's free Taquitos.
OKAY!!!
*three dramatic sounds*
We really appreciate you joining us today. You know the church of religitology really prides ourselves on it's members....
*Heavenly* TAQUITOS!!!!!
*knashing and mmm-ing sounds*
And the great wonderful...
F*ck off!
*Noms*
These are really goo-
*dramatic sounds*
What the hell?!
Just relax, and we will show you the true path to sexiness...
LET ME GO!!
Not just yet...
Sit back, and enjoy this "enlightening" video tape...
*puts VHS tape in, intro plays*
Wooooah, Hugh!
Hi there, kids,
Bob Roberts here,
Today, I'm gonna brainwash you and teach you how to join a cult!
We aren't a cult, we're just a fun bunch of people having a good time.
Ehh, whatever!
What's the name of your, cult-thingy?
Religitoligy.
Religitoligy? That's the dumbest name I've ever-
*guns shots*
*outro plays, VHS tape ejects*
There, are you brainwashed yet?
I am!
Oh my Herman, NO, HIM!
Ah, DAMMIT!
Ugh!
Alright.
Looks like we'll have to do this...
...The hard way!
Hard way....
*teletubbies theme plays*
Watch it!
No, No!
*teletubbies theme continues*
There, your brainwashing session is complete!
How do you feel?
Sexy!
Now remember, your trigger word is "mermaid". So whenever you hear the word "mermaid" you'll be forced to kill everyone around you.
Cool!
So, what's my trigger word?
Mermaid.
*kill*
*gun shot* Ow!
Ow!
Didn't think that one through...
*doorbell rings AGAIN...*
What the hell?!
You leave for six months without saying anything?!
Greetings Sir! Would you like to take a sexiness test?
Why are you wearing a bath robe?
It's not a bath robe! It's the ceremonial robe of religitoligy.
Da hell is "Religitoligy"?
I'd be happy to tell you all about it, may I come in?
Uhh.. Yeah you live here.
Splendid.
It all began way back in the ancient times of 1998,
Our great founder, "Com Truise" was in an AOL Chat room,
When suddenly, a mysterious person by the name of Herman, entered the room.
When suddenly, a mysterious person by the name of "Herman", entered the room.
He told Com that he was the creator of everything in the universe,
and definitely, not a 13 year old boy trolling.
Com verified this when he asked for his Age, Sex, Location.
Herman told Com 3 things to base his new religion on.
Number 1: He is real,
Number 2: Everyone should be sexy and wear sky blue robes,
And Number 3:
And Number 3: Gay Marriage is wrong cause it's icky!
How can you trust the word of some random guy when there is no solid evidence backing up the existence of this "Herman"?
You would understand too if you had faith... and sexiness! I which have both so would totally make sense to me!
Okay? Oh, Dude, check out what I got today!
New copy of the little mer-
*dora the explorer ringtone*
Anyway...
Like I was saying...
I got a sweet new copy of the little mer-
*microwave beeps*
Oh!
*opens and closes microwave*
*sniffs* Ah!
You want any?
No?
Okay...
Anyway... I got a copy of the little...
(in slow motion with heartbeats) MERMAID.
*kill*
What the hell man?!
Don't shoot me!
I have to! It's herman's will!
But it's me! Ian, Your Best Friend?!
*exhales*
*gun shot* Blaurgh!
Hey man...
Woah!
Dude, I'm sorry!
For you know..
Sh-shooting you in the face?
So... You're not brainwashed anymore?
Well, I don't feel like killing you, So, guess not..
So... Now do you wanna watch the little mermaid with-
*6 gunshots, followed with* AAAAAAH!
To See Behind the Scenes Footage and Bloopers, Click The Link in The Description Below! *it's porn.*
Thanks For Subscribing!
Subscribing Isn't a Requirement, But it You don't, WE'LL KILL YOU.
[Captioned By BradyAUS]