letter number one these are by the way these are actual letters from actual viewers uh Dear Dave
could you please ask Biff how I too can become a chick magnet like him Johnny Haygood from Columbia
uh talking about one of our stage managers Biff Henderson and I know the ladies love
Biff Henderson and the question is how how can you become a Biff magnet like uh a Biff magnet dengue
fever a chick magnet black Biff well here we put together a little videotape here's how roll it
becoming a check magnet is simply a matter of remembering three rules rule
number one ladies love a man with great clothes
rule number two always keep your breath mentally friends
rule number three make sure you mention that you work for an extremely popular TV show on
America's favorite network CBS by the way you like that show Everybody Loves Raymond I'm Raymond
magnet
or a 50 disc Magnet or a Biffy chick magnet letter number two Dear Dave do you watch those Fox magic
specials Kathleen Malone Tucson Arizona uh you know I uh you know uh you're not gonna believe
this but I don't uh we but you know speaking of magicians we had some uh some bonehead here in New
York a couple of weeks ago it buried himself alive you know about this guy up on the upper west side
he buried himself alive for a couple of weeks and then he uh I think we have videotape areas coming
out look at him there there he's coming out he's been buried alive look at what they do the first
thing after you've been buried alive they hand you your shoes there you go son slip into your
shoes you've been buried alive my friend how to get those shoes back on and now he's uh
you're not stopping there he's got another stunt that he's doing here
in New York City and this one is a little different this one actually
doesn't make any sense at all look at he's letting a truck roll over his head
yeah I it wouldn't surprise me that when he when he stops
doing that that he may need a soft cervical collar
all right
better number three hey Dave can you send me a big ass ham Dave Brown Mission uh British Columbia
Canada and you know we haven't really given out the hams in years and years and years the problem
was people would get the hams and they don't understand that they contained perishable Food
Matters sure yeah actual ham don't last forever unless you get it at Rupert's Del Rupert's Deli
I see it then you got a pretty good shot of it lasting forever so uh uh we stopped giving
away the hams but this guy would like a big ass ham Dave Brown well sure uh we used to send the
hams through the uh mail but that always took so long so so now we've come up with a new
state-of-the-art canned hand delivery system check this out watch this major I gotta say major there
ah
we deliver those hands
you all right Mike this is a gentleman that helped out in our little skit Mike I can do you okay yeah
I'm okay right on the head anyway you had to go and get stitches or something uh just a butterfly
stitch what does that mean one butterfly one butterfly right here yeah how deep was it was
it a lot of blood uh a lot of blood uh didn't go too deep yeah well that's what with head wounds
they always bleed like that right but there's no chance uh I mean no chance of a lawsuit right
thank you that's not complete episode
uh letter number four hey Dave what's the deal with you and uh Cher Cher by
the way was nice enough to drop by on my birthday Monday night that was great
uh just curious Mary Richardson Milwaukee Wisconsin uh you know what's the deal with
me and share share uh well if you had seen how many of you saw the behind the
scenes VH1 special on shares oh yeah behind the news yeah what is it called Behind the
Music that's right yeah well uh they had a Behind the Music uh documentary on the
VH1 the other night and if you had any questions about me and Cher that would
have answered all of them here take a look here's the Behind the Music stuff
there's absolutely a little girl in there behind the share mask she's so wonderful Tinder
vulnerable she's a good mom there's nobody else really like her one time Cher made this
music video and you could uh you can sort of see her butt well I think the time that we
were together it was about a month and a half uh it was Heaven and and I'm sure uh I mean
it would have been a lot faster