- Ma'am, here's your coffee.
It's really hot.
- Can you put it down right there?
Oh, Gary!
Ah, oh my God, what was I just gonna say?
Ah. (soft music)
This thing is completely useless, by the way.
(comical music)
You can move more air by farting.
(Gary laughing) - I'm sure you can, ma'am.
I do a serious job.
I am next to the veep more than any other human being.
You are distantly orbiting her.
I'm her moon.
- Oh, listen, tell Dan to start working on
the yogurt store, okay?
Wait a minute, Gary.
Gary, this is way too much.
- What do you want me to do?
What? (comical music)
- Okay, let's not do that again, all right?
Governor?
Hi, how are you?
I don't know if you saw the footage today
from meet the press, but you know that is not what I meant,
and it certainly isn't what I think.
- Gary, the belt can wait.
- Well, let's just put it this way;
what I was trying to say was,
Jesus Christ, oh my God.
- Oh God! - Oh, Gary,
that was my (beeps) flesh.
If I were Jerome right now, would you kiss me?
(comical music)
- Yeah.
- No, Gary, I'm kidding.
- Right.
- Yeah.
(comical music)
- I'm gonna get a drink.
(comical music)
- Oh God, look at the president.
Jeez, he looks so- - He looks jowly.
- Ah, look at those cheeks.
It's like two little clutch bags
attached to his face.
- Oh my God, with the bags, it's always bags with you,
you gotta get out of the bag zone.
Come on, Gary.
(Selena laughing) Come and sit here.
- Okay, that's nice.
- Yeah. - Thank you, ma'am.
- I don't really know anything about you.
You're kind of a mystery man.
- Oh. (comical music)
- Where'd you grow up?
- Birmingham, Alabama.
- You did not.
- I did too, I did. (Selena laughing)
- Are you close to your parents?
- Close to my mom,
my dad always wanted a man for a son, so.
- Oh yeah.
- But it's a different generation.
- It is a different generation, it's true.
- Yeah, you know what I mean.
(comical music)
You look gorgeous.
- Do you think that I'm ruthless?
- No. - Enough.
- Oh, enough?
- Yeah. - Oh, I think you have
just the right amount of grit in your oyster.
- Huh? - Hmm?
- Gary?
- Yeah. - I'm gonna be president.
(comical music)
- Of course you are.
I mean, there's always hope, ma'am.
We've got plenty of hope in this world.
- No, no, no, no.
I mean, POTUS is gonna resign. - Uh-huh.
- And I'm about to become President of America!
(Gary crying)
No, oh, don't cry.
Don't cry. (Gary crying)
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Your nose is bleeding.
(Gary crying)
You're bleeding, oh my God, you're bleeding.
Oh, Gary.
- When I get excited my nose bleeds.
- What?
- When I get excited my nose bleeds.
- Okay, you got to sit down.
Wait, you got to sit down.
- Ma'am, cheese is on its way, here's an interim banana.
(comical music)
- It doesn't even work.
- I love you, mom.
- Oh, no, honey.
You got to say it like you mean it though, darling.
- It's so easy, it's like, "I love you, mom, I love you."
- Well not like that.
- For a moment,
Gary was the most powerful person in the world.
(Gary exhaling)
- That's hilarious, give me some soup.
- Yep. (comical music)
- After I lost my first election for State Senate,
mother says to me, "Well, it's not your fault.
"It's just your toothy smile."
- Oh my God, I love your smile.
- That's not the point.
God, I am, I just I'm-
- Oh God, it's me, Selena.
- Oh Lord God, it's me, Selena.
- Grant me wisdom and strength.
- Give us your comforting presence,
we're in this very difficult- - Give us
your comforting presence, I've got it now.
I've got it.
Lord God, please ease my mother's pain and suffering.
- Yes, Lord, yes, Lord.
- Ease her passing, ease it all.
- Yes.
- Ease it down the, Lord, let her daughter,
thy humble servant,
be the first woman elected President of the United States.
Please, this is so much to bear.
- Oh, it is, Lord, it is.
- Hear my prayer. - Hear her prayer.
- Lift me up.
- Lift her-
- No, I mean actually lift me up,
'cause my heel is stuck in this.
(comical music)
Yeah, I got it.
Here we go again.
(comical music)
- Is this heaven?
- He keeps waking up and asking that.
You had a heart attack, Gary,
for the third fricking time.
- Oh Jesus.
- Madam President? - Yes.
- You should really lie down.
- Oh.
- What happened, what happened?
You had a heart attack too?
- No, I had a heart episode,
and they're just gonna pop a stent in there,
just for fun.
- Here you go.
- Thank you so much.
Can we get something for Mr. Walsh, please?
'Cause he's the one who's really ailing,
and at death's door.
- We Meyers are very resourceful.
- You do know you're not really
a member of my family, right?
- I do. - Right.
I'm gonna run for president again.
(comical music)
- That is a great idea.
- I know, I know.
- I think you're definitely ready for this.
- Yeah, I feel so great about this.
- You should. - Yeah.
- Are you sure you're ready for this?
- Okay, see, he's unhinged.
- Mm-hmm.
- He's like this demented creep, who follows me around,
and gets all in my personal life,
and thinks about me 24/7 non-stop.
- Uh-huh, cool, cool.
- Yeah.
- I have been working for you for 18 years
without a promotion.
- Right.
- Yeah, but some people kind of think
I deserve a bigger role in the campaign this time.
- What kind of role was your mother thinking of?
- I don't know, I thought everybody
kind of did the same thing.
- Ma'am, our faith-based outreach program's
kind of a disaster.
- Okay, so give Gary the face-based thing.
- It's faith-based.
- I don't care.
- [Gary] Yeah, okay.
- Hey, Gary. - Yeah?
- Do my eyes look puffy to you?
- I'm surprised they let you run for president,
because you look 34 tops.
- Yeah.
- You look beautiful.
- And you are a lifesaver.
- Oh, come on.
- Yeah, I couldn't have done it without you.
- Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere.
- [Announcer] The next President
of the United States of America, Selina Meyer.
(crowd cheering)
- And when I look back on my 52 years
with almost 30 of them spent in public service,
there is no one who has sacrificed more than me,
(crowd cheering)
and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me.
(upbeat music)