Are you bad with names? I used to be bad with names. Now I'm actually pretty good.
So whether you need work on this or just want to do a little more practice,
let's get to it.
I'm Alex Lyon and I'm here to provide communication tips to
help you increase your impact and lead your teams with more excellence.
I used to be terrible learning names but a lot of times I was just distracted.
People would say their name and I just wouldn't be paying attention. I'd be thinking
about how I was coming across or thinking about something else. And that's
really the first step in learning other people's names is realizing that when
you first meet someone probably the most important thing you can do in that
moment is focused on what their name is
and learn it. Make it a priority. Don't accept defeat and say, oh I'm no good at names.
Anybody can get a little bit better with motivation and the right techniques.
So let's look at four ways that you can remember people's names more effectively
and then two ways that you can help other people remember your name.
Tthe first way to help remember people's names is by making it
visual. So if there's something about their name and you can make a
visual association with it, when you look at the person then you'll think of their
name. For example, if I was meeting someone named Sarah and she had a nice smile,
I would immediately associate "Sara smile," which is an old song.
It's already in my head and I'm using that visual association. So the next time
I see her, hopefully she'll smile or I'll remember it and it'll trigger the name
Sarah. Make it visual.
My name is Alex Lyon. By the way if that sounds familiar, you've probably seen
Madagascar. Alex the Lion is the main character in that movie voiced by
Ben Stiller, the animated movie.
And so when I meet people, I actually do this for them. I say, it's Alex
Lyon like the character in Madagascar. And they usually go oh yeah.
And now I'm helping them visually associate it. Now if I met someone and that
was their name, Alex Lyon I would picture a lion's mane around their face. I would
visualize that, make it visual, and then the next time I saw them I would see the
lion's mane in my mind's and then I would remember Alex the lion from
Madagascar.
So make it visual is the first tip. The second tip is to use word play.
So if the name is Jack, I'm instant going to think of something I already know that's
associated with Jack like Jumpin Jack Flash which is a song.
We had a, I have a friend of mine do this, she's actually a student a former student. I
teach college. And I play this word association name game at the beginning
of every semester. And I have them use their name and then come up with
some creative way using words like rhyming or other sounds to help us
remember.
And so I had a student's name and her name is Aurora. And she came up with Aurora
Borealis, which is very memorable is something we already have heard about,
the northern lights. And then every time we would see her we would think oh yeah
Aurora Borealis. And it's an easy way through wordplay to remember because
things like rhymes or alliteration where things start with the same first letter
that's memorable in and of itself. And so by using a little technique like that
it's going to make their name much more memorable. So I do this for other
people I see them and and the visual is the first tip and then I listened to
their name and I do some word play as well.
The third way is to write it down. You write it down using a pencil and a piece
of paper or you can put it in your phone. If you write someone's name down, you're
going to be looking at that name
on the paper or on your screen and it's going to be one more way that it can get
in your mind. You might hear it but then you see it and it gets in your mind a
little more effectively and you can stare at it for a minute if you have to,
really internalize it, and think of ways to remember it once you're staring at it.
And I've even asked people to write their name down in the conversation.
Let's say they have a really difficult name
that's hard for me to remember. I would say, you know, I really want to remember your name,
could you write it down so I can see what it looks like on paper.
I have never had anybody say no. They're always delighted to do it because
chances are if I'm having trouble remembering their name,
other people are having trouble remembering their name and so they'll write it down for you.
And then you just throw the paper out afterward once you really have
it or you can delete that from your phone once you really have it. The fourth
way is to use it. If you hear yourself say their name,
it's one more way to remember it. In fact if you know you're going to use their
name in the conversation,
you'll be that much more motivated to remember in the first place. And I
recommend using their name in the conversation just one time.
You don't want to be a salesperson or sound like a sales person and say their
name in every sentence. That can feel a little dominating, a little manipulative.
I know I don't like it when people use my name repeated. I think, what's going
on here? What's their agenda?
So just say once. Usually at the end of a conversation
you're about to depart that's the easiest time. You might say, your name
again was Aurora, right? And you hear yourself say it gets in there one more
time and it's one more chance, by the way, to clarify if you've got it wrong then
here's another chance to to get it right.
So those are four ways that you can remember other people's names.
Let's flip the script a little bit and talk about ways that you can help others
remember you. A lot of times we take it personally,
you know, people don't remember me. What? What is this? What kind of world are we
living in where people can remember someone's name?
Well it could be because your name is extraordinarily common and so there's
not a lot to grab onto there or it's really complicated,
difficult and so they can't associate with anything that they already
understand. If your name is really common,
you should sound out your whole name. So if my name were John Adams, John is a
very common name,
I would say John Adams. And that gives their memory something more to work
with than just a common name like John or Steve or Mark. And if its female
name like Mary, Michelle. Those are common names. So if your name is common, use the
full name and sound it out. And if your name is it overly complicated,
you absolutely want to sound out that name. So I met a guy, his name is not
complicated but it's uncommon. His name is Khalid.
He's an acquaintance of mine. "Khalid" is not an everyday name for me. And so I
was struggling just a little bit and he helped me and you want to help people,
right? You want to help people remember your name. Sound it out. And he said, Khalid.
"Lid" is a second part, like a hat, and he went like this visually and that really
helped me remember. He's sounding out and doing something visual. What a great
combination. Lid is like a hat. "Kha," K-A is the sound, lid. Kha-lid. And now I have his
name. I only had to hear it that one conversation. When he did that and he
sounded it out and really stuck.
The second thing you want to do when you're seeing someone for the second
time is use your name again.
Just reintroduce yourself. Everybody loves a reminder, right? So you go to see
them again you say, Hi my name is Khalid. Now
they might say, Oh I remember. Fine. That's good. They remember. No harm in reminding
them. It's your name. It's
not a party foul to reintroduce yourself.
So those are two ways. Sound it out for them really carefully or even your full
name if it's a common name and then reminded them of your name the next
time you see them and that will help them along.
So with these four techniques to remember other people's names and two
techniques to help people remember your name
you're going to be equipped to get better at names all around. And remember as
I mentioned the first step however is really understanding that it's that
moment when you meet someone to get highly motivated to learn their name and
just really commit to that and that's going to make these techniques much
easier to apply. So Communication Coach, this channel, is here for tips like this.
And certainly names
are one basic thing but all kinds of communication skills to help you
increase your game and lead your teams to higher levels of excellence.
So if you're interested in these kinds of videos, then I encourage you to
start tuning in.
Click the subscribe button. You can also post some comments below. Maybe you
can teach me something about remembering names. Maybe you're good at or you have
something that works for you.
Post a comment below and I'd love to hear from you.
So thanks. God bless. And I hope you get to use these techniques at your very
next introduction. At the end of the first week of class, I teach college,
as some of you know. At the end of the first week of class, I used to be
terrible names, now I know every single person's name in the class. I might have
a hundred students in all my classes together.
And I remember every single, every single name. In addition, I teach my
students how to remember everybody else's name and some of them will say,
maybe you like you have,
Oh, I'm terrible names. I can't remember names. I can't do it. Those are the people I
call on. I say, How many people are terrible names? And some hands go up. And
after we played some of these games and associations and visual things like
we're talking about in this video, then at the end of that first class and
certainly by the end of the week I have those same people stand up and they are
able to name
almost every single person and sometimes every single person to a tee in that
class. And my classes can get pretty big. Some of my classes are as big as 40
students. And they know every single person. So these techniques really do
work if you just commit and remember in that moment when you meet people to
start using them.