This episode of DNews is presented by Kay Jewelers.
Every kiss begins with Kay.
We’d love to believe our partner is perfect, and we fell for them because they’re the
one, but in reality, it’s all about circumstance.
Forming human or animal pair-bonds is a complicated thing.
There so many different parts, priorities, and social systems - it’s shocking we ever
pair up at all.
While the obvious things, like looks and personality are emphasized by magazines and love stories,
there are a number of other scientific studies looking at how we pick our partners.
Framing effect is a social communication theory which examines how we look at the world around
us, the FRAMES we put around things.
For example, if you buy meat, they sell it as 80-percent fat FREE -- which means it's
still 20-percent fat, but you don't think about that, because they FRAMED it in a more
positive way.
WHOLE milk sounds super thick in comparison to 2 percent, but whole is only 3.5 percent.
It's all about the framing, and we do this when we're looking for partners too.
Often, we instinctively stumble into the right way to frame an idea.
For example, if a woman wants a man to find her attractive, she might wear her favorite
red shirt.
A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology from 2008 found the color
of our clothing changes the perception of a possible partner.
We're not talking the cut or how flattering the clothing is, simply the color.
It's commonly understood that red is the love color, and this research supports that idea.
Volunteers were shown a variety of pictures of women, the color of the backgrounds, photo
borders and even the shirt of the subject was digitally altered to red or other colors.
The red consistently increased ratings of attractiveness for men, but not for women.
The color didn't change estimations of kindness, intelligence or likeability; only attractiveness.
Another new study in Evolution and Human Behavior explores positive versus negative framing.
Positive framing is saying 80-percent fat free, because that's what you WANT, while
negative framing would be 20-percent fat -- because you're focusing on the thing to avoid.
This new research found the framing effect for mating is even more pronounced for women
than men -- and women are on the lookout for the NEGATIVE frame.
They presented one of two frames to their participants: either seven out of ten know
this person is kind, OR three out of ten know this person is not kind.
One or the other, not both.
Note that the information is EXACTLY the same, three to seven; it's just presented differently.
According to their results, women focused on the three, not the seven and were far less
likely to say they'd date someone who was presented in the negative frame!
The researchers believe it has to do with evolutionary focus on rearing offspring.
According to them, choosing a poor provider or unloving father would have serious consequences.
I felt a little skeezed by this research, so I dug a bit further.
Turns out, a study in Psychological Science says societal frames matter too.
Researchers looked at 31 nations, and how each society framed the sexes, either more
equal, or less equal; and how that affected partner selection.
In gender-unequal societies, people were more likely to pick a mate using more traditional
evolutionary tropes.
Conversely, the more gender-equal the societal frame was, the less likely men and women were
to choose a partner along the lines of evolutionary psychology.
More equality means men and women weren't ONLY looking for a strong provider in a man
and ability to birth children -- of course, we can't escape our evolution entirely.
Partners just didn't value those traits as highly.
And, of course, red still wins.
Keep wearing red.
What do you think of all this?
Do you pay attention to how you're framing yourself?
Maybe
you should!