-You know why everyone's in a good mood?
I want to wish everyone
a happy National Beer Day, everybody.
-Whoa! -That's today.
[ Cheers and applause ] National --
Today is National Beer Day,
or as we called it growing up, Father's Day.
[ Laughter ]
"Give me another one."
Let's get to some important, happy, and historic news.
Today, the Senate officially confirmed Ketanji Brown Jackson.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Making her the first Black woman on the Supreme Court.
Come on! [ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah!
It's great.
That's right. She's going to be Justice Jackson.
Yeah, when Disney heard that name,
they immediately added her to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
[ Laughter ]
Yep, Jackson will now debate the most important issues
facing our country, like freedom of speech,
states' rights, and "is it cake?"
[ Laughter ]
Oh, this is cool. Jackson actually watched
the Senate confirmation vote live with President Biden
at the White House.
Here they are, here's a picture. Yeah.
-Aww. [ Laughter ]
Looks less like a Supreme Court confirmation,
more like a Zoom wedding. Doesn't it, a little bit?
Yeah. [ Laughter ]
It's also an exciting time in the sports world,
'cause it was opening day of Major League Baseball season
and the first day of the Masters golf tournament.
[ Cheers and applause ] All today.
Yep. Baseball and golf --
it's basically the Olympics for napping in front of the TV.
[ Laughter ]
But the big story at the Masters
is that Tiger Woods is back and playing great.
[ Cheers and applause ]
How annoying is that for everyone else?
-Yeah. -The guy misses 17 months,
he comes back, he's like, "Well, I guess I'll just go
win the Masters, I don't know." [ Laughter ]
Well, some business news -- I read that Richard Branson
wants to swap rockets with Elon Musk.
[ Laughter ]
So that he can fly to space with SpaceX,
and Musk can fly with Virgin Galactic.
[ Laughter ]
So I guess Kimmel and I really started a trend, right?
[ Laughter ]
Usually when two guys want to try out each other's rockets,
we can't talk about it on TV. -Hey! Oh!
[ Laughter ]
-Hey, I saw that the CEO of Red Lobster has resigned
after just eight months on the job.
Now Red Lobster has to pick a new CEO
out of the live CEO tank.
[ Laughter ]
"That one. That one's perfect."
It's odd. Usually the only thing
that hangs around Red Lobster for eight months
is the coconut shrimp.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, people are talking about this.
The FDA is looking into complaints all over the country
from people getting sick from Lucky Charms.
[ Audience "Oohs" ]
The FDA was like, "Well, here's your first problem --
you're eating marshmallows for breakfast, so..."
[ Laughter ]
So far, the symptoms are
[ Irish accent ] "pink eyes, green tongue, and yellow skin."
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] Some TV news.
A lot of people are talking about Ken Burns'
new Ben Franklin documentary on PBS.
Have you seen it? He's made over 20 documentaries,
but, I don't -- maybe he's doing it for too long.
I think he might be losing it.
I just felt -- I feel like the -- something --
The writing's off. I don't know.
Take a look at what I saw.
♪♪
-Mm. Hot.
Oh! John Adams.
Would you like some tea? -Don't mind if I brew?
[ Both laugh ]
[ Slide whistle plays ]
-And by the way, have you seen my kite?
-As if. You're never getting that thing back.
-What about the electricity?
-Benjamin Franklin, I don't have all day.
I have to go back to see my family.
-What family? -Why, the Adams family.
[ "Addams Family" theme plays ]
That's my last name.
♪♪
[ Laughter ] -Wow.
[ Applause ]
I concur. -I found it odd.
Well, this is interesting.
Researchers in Japan created a --
[ Laughter ]
What's the problem? -I'm just -- I don't --
[ Laughter ]
I don't know what that was supposed to be.
[ Laughter ]
-What do you think you saw?
-I thought I saw... -Yeah?
-...Benjamin Franklin... -Yeah.
-Right? -Hey, okay.
-...John Adams... -That's correct.
-...chatting by a modern-day coffee station.
-Yeah, like a -- like a Keurig, or something.
-Right? They're drinking in demitasse cups.
-Yes. -He drank his coffee --
-He's like... -First of all, it's so hot
that he had to go, "Ouch, ouch, ouch."
-He said, "Hot." -"Hot."
And then John Adams drank it, and his eyes went --
whoop! -- like that. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. It was a little -- -That was -- Ken Burns did that.
-Ken Burns apparently did that, yeah.
-Wow! You're right -- the writing is off.
-I just -- Something's off, right?
-Yeah, something's off. [ Laughter ]
-Well, there's no actual footage of Ben Franklin,
so they had to re-create it. -Yeah, right.
-So I guess, let him -- let him improvise.
-You know what? That explains it all.
You have to improvise. 'Cause you don't know.
You weren't there. [ Laughter ]
-Well, this is interesting, guys.
I think you'll find this interesting.
In Japan, these researchers created a robot
that mastered a pretty important task.
Check this out.
[ Laughter ]
-It's great if you feel like eating a banana next week.
It really is.
People wonder why it's taking so long to beat COVID, you know?
[ Laughter ]
Well, listen to this. A driver in Maine
had to be rescued after she made a wrong turn at a garbage dump
and ended up on top of a trash compacter.
This is real. Look at this.
-Oh! [ Audience "Oohs" ]
-Yet another success story for Apple Maps.
[ Laughter ]
Anyway, happy National Beer Day, everyone.
[ Cheers and applause ]