- Hammer Time
Do do do
(whistling)
do, do, do, do
(whistling)
- Parachute pants
(laughing)
(truck engine roaring)
- So, we're going to do this
just the way kids would do this.
We're going to do it right here in the dirt.
Even though he has a nice shop
- There's a real nice shop right there
(laughing)
- We're going to do it right here.
- On a scale of one to five,
one being the lowest
five being the highest.
How would you rate the performance of this Jeep, Fred?
- I like a nice five.
Five's a good number.
It's higher than one.
But I like to be number one too, so ...
I'm kind of confused by your question.
- Fred's over there talking about these wheels.
He's probably not talking a whole lot about how
they're not going to fit anywhere on here.
So, a long time ago,
in the magazines,
Vern wrote an article
about the no lift TJ on 35's.
And, um, most of the article was about him
like stretching the wheel base and cutting
and doing all this creative work
to get the big tires to fit.
Fred doesn't have plans to do any of that.
- Hey guys! What's goin' on over here?
- Nothin's goin' on over here.
- Killing note: Go Pro's, take one.
(laughing)
- [Background Voice] We're rolling.
- We have revived this jeep's life.
Brought it back from the dead.
Good job, Fred.
- America
- I think Fred was always a closet YJ lover,
and this is, he's going to finally
this is going to be his new favorite Jeep.
- Clear
- New favorite Jeep in his fleet.
It's going to be the best thing he's ever owned.
- It's not the same when it's my money.
- Huh?
- It's not the same when it's my money.
- Yeah
(laughing)
- 'Cause you're so gentle to the things that I own.
(laughing)
My Avalanche.
- I can't apologize forever, Fred.
- Dave, you're like the small block Chevy of friends.
- Shut up.
(both laughing)
- Let's treat it better than we did the last Jeep
and that Avalanche.
- We're probably not going to.
I don't know what we did wrong on the Avalanche.
(laughing)
- We took an Avalanche snow racing,
in the trees.
What do you want to build next?
- We should build a 4-wheel drive RV,
with a boat.
Then we should drive it to a lake,
put the boat in the lake,
get in the boat,
go water skiin',
get some suntan.
What do you want built next?
- I want to drive a little tractor.
(both laughing)
One of the little ones.
- A little teeny tiny tractor.
Alright, so the Jeep's been working flawlessly.
We stopped for fuel.
and the battery is not charging.
The alternator light came on again,
the check engine light.
So, Dave's lookin' under the hood.
Dave, what'd you find?
- We're never going to make it home.
- What's the problem?
- We blew another alternator fuse.
(groaning)
Apparently there's two of them.
(groaning)
- We should eat our sandwiches that
we have hidden underneath the hood.
We're going to be camped here at this Chevron.
If you see two homeless guys eatin' warmed over hamburgers,
that's us.
How are we ever going to end the episode, Dave?
- We'll just go buy another fuse.
- Okay.
You want us to wait 'til you're in the air?
- He'll catch us.
- Okay.
One
- Go
- Buckle up for safety.
(laughing)
- Are we going to get to camp out on this trip?
- Well you never know.
Probably.
It's a YJ,
it'll probably break down somewhere.
I mean, it will never break down!
(laughing)
Four liter, it's like the Chevy V8 of Jeep engines.
- It's crazy here, the motorcycle racers
that have scrolled through their map
on the gas station,
during the race.
- Yeah.
Don't they have their navigator do that?
- No.
- I would.
I'd have a navigator monkey.
- In your motorcycle race?
- Yeah.
- [Background Voice] Come up a little closer
for a little bit.
- I'd wear like a front harness.
- Like a baby holster?
- Yeah.
But, it'd be a monkey,
and he'd be just like ...
(monkey noises)
Then I wouldn't have to look at the map.
I could just drive.
- You're ridiculous.
- Why?
You don't think a monkey holster,
navigator is a good idea?
- It's pretty good,
but how do you train the monkey
to read the map?
- Dude, monkey's are brilliant.
- I've seen them smoke cigarettes,
and drive go carts.
- Didn't a monkey fly into outer space
in the Russian cosmonaut program?
- No, that was our camera man.
Are you pregnant?
'Cause you're glowing.
- It's disconcerting when you guys talk like that.
(laughing)
- This place is really cool.
Rocks and stuff,
and dirt and sand,
and wash is too.
Rocks and dirt and sand and stuff.
In a squeaky jeep truck.
(squeaking clutch)
(laughing)
(squeaking clutch)
(laughing)
- [Background Voice] Okay, okay.
- Sorry.
Sorry.
(laughing)
- Alright, so we're pulling this bar out,
'cause I think they're ugly looking,
and I don't have kids.
Dave has kids.
- I really like these,
cause they keep your kids safe.
- Dave's kids are really tough.
So, he doesn't need this either.
Pick a color Dave.
- Yellow.
- You had to pick yellow.
- I had to pick four bars back.
- Right.
How about red?
- How about yellow?
- Okay, we have yellow.
- I can't wait for my seat belt to try and kill me again.
- If we pass this challenge,
we won't get voted off the island,
and we'll be the winners of
Jeep island ... Survivor ...
Of America.
Hey Dave, how's it going?
- Pretty good.
- You want a cookie?
- Are those edible?
- Yeah,
yeah.
Any mushrooms you see in the woods are edible.
- Alright.
- It's a known.
(laughing)
- [Dave] Where's our camera guy?
- He's right over here.
He's doing his job, being rad.
It's like the Chevy small block of Jeeps.
- Eat your heart out Pei Wei.
- Yeah, like if I was fry burger and Pei Wei,
I'd still be in the drive way rebuilding this engine.
Boom.
- We are going so fast,
that, that seagull's barely passing us.
- Fifty miles an hour.
- That guys going 17,
slow down buddy.
- Honestly, what it needs,
You know what this Jeep needs?
- No.
(laughing)
- If you want to spit,
wipe that camera off.
(laughing)
- What are you going to degrease the motor,
and then like,
hose it down,
and make a big mud puddle for us to work in?
- Yeah, Well you're going to be underneath there
working on the suspension,
while I'm inside sprucing up the interior.
- You're out of control.
Smell that pee?
Jeep guy.
No wave, no wave.
Whatsoever.
- JK owners don't always get it.
What is this one wire,
that goes over the top of the ...
- Fuel pump.
- OH
(laughing)
You know when I take my tires off my jeep,
and I wash them.
I need to dry them out.
I like to hang them up on the tire rack.
- That one didn't work.
- That'd be fine.
Partying on.
- I got dirt in my mouth.
- Keep your mouth closed.
Or, talk like this,
so you don't get dirt in your teeth.
Ma, ma, ma, ma.
- It still smells like pee.
- We've got a brand new battery,
big tires and a lift kit.
I can't think of anything better to do.
Let's do that one again.
- When are we going to drive? Get in.
- We've got to do it again.
- What'd you do?
- I fumbled, I just flubbed my whole line.
- I nailed mine.
Now that I feel less safe,
my seat belt stopped locking up on me.
(laughing)
- That would be ironic,
would be, if we could get our show sponsored
by some sort of soap company.
- 'Cause we're dirt ... everyday?
- Yeah.
That ruled.
(laughing)
Oh yeah, doing that.
Putting the coffee cup thing
over the end of the lens.
What's our plan Dave?
- Scavenge all the loose change.
It's getting cold.
We're driving a Jeep.
Up in the mountains.
Do you think it is neat?
- I think it's awesome,
to be Jeepin' in the rain,
and even though I am wet,
I never complain about Jeepin'.
- 'Cause Jeepin' is neat.
- 'Cause Jeepin' is great.
- I'm driving from this seat.
- If we were in Ireland.
- I'd be steering.
- And, I'd be drinking Foster's.
No that's Australia.
- That's a different country all together.
We'd probably be drinking coffee there, too though.
- What's the Irish ...
- Irish coffee.
- So that's what we need?
- That's it for Dirt Every Day Extra,
we'll see you next time.
(truck engine roaring)