Hello! How are you, Spaghetti!
And welcome back to Evan Edin...
Jernam?
What?
And welcome back to Evan Edin...
I don't even know my name.
And welcome back to Evan Evanger
Evan Evan?!
What is my name?!
Hello! How are you, Spaghetti, and welcome back to Evan Edingerman.
My 1 month long excursion in Germany here on my Evan Edinger channel.
Not so difficult!
Today is my first video completely in German.
Also, please forgive me for the many mistakes that I will make.
I will try my best!
Don't make me switch to Spanish!
I will do it.
It’s true.
Okay. So. First, I know that my glasses are broken, okay?
Actually, it’s now in style.
Do you no know anyone with only one single glasses arm?
Glasses arm is a funny word, right?
Normally, that word is not in my vocabulary.
Well, I was a bit drunk at Oktoberfest.
If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I've earned
my Oktoberfest “Driver’s license” this year
If you do not know what that means, it means that
I went to Oktoberfest at least 5 times.
A little too much.
And usually I can handle my alcohol, but Oktoberfest beer is just so strong!
Okay, this is sad Alexa, play Despacito.
No!
No! No! Alexa, stop! Alexa, stop!
It was only a joke. It was only a joke.
So here I am with my friend in the beer tent.
I have drunk 2 beer mugs at this point.
I'm a cheap date, frankly, that's a lot for me.
Of course, I wear my awesome Lederhosen.
It IS Oktoberfest, people.
And here's the funny thing about Lederhosen.
They have this super handy little pocket in the front.
Careful, ladies! It is only an example.
See? Practical!
It's nice if you need more space to bring something.
For me, I put my vlogging camera in there.
Easy access! Amazing idea, I know.
Gotta get that shot
That didn't translate well.
Next, I had to go pee.
In my opinion, it should be an Olympic sport to pee while wearing Lederhosen.
And if it were, I would not qualify.
Here I am. In a toilet cubicle. Drunk off my tits.
My Lederhosen is tight like a tiger.
I wrestle with the right button. Then the left.
I can now piss.
It was a beautiful moment
But wait. It happened so fast.
The second I opened my left button,
my vlogging camera fell directly into the toilet bowl.
Crap!
No, seriously. Crap!
Not really, not really.
There wasn’t any crap.
So, here I am. In a toilet cubicle.
And I scream NO! NO! So loud.
The other people in the restroom must have thought
that I was having a pretty painful poop.
I'm glad I did not order the chicken.
It was just like that
I reach my hand in the toilet hole and took my camera out.
Then I did the smartest thing I ever did.
I took out the battery.
Thank you! Thank you!
I know. I know. I am a genius.
But I am drunk, people.
So I put the battery back in the camera and turned it on.
Here it is.
Rest in peace
You were crap anyway
I'm really stupid like bean straw. (dumb as nails)
Oh right! The glasses!
Yes, I arrived home and put them down
And then I accidentally leaned on them and crushed them.
Then I said hello to another toilet bowl,
but this time to see my dinner again.
From my mouth. Wiesn is fun, right?
On one hand, I have to fix them.
On the other hand, at least they still fit!
Funny thing about the glasses.
My roommate realized that they still fit me, so he said,
"It looks like they're over-engineered, glasses only need a single arm."
So typical German.
So my Tract (traditional Bavarian outfit). Yes, I'm wearing a full Tract right now.
I got it from a lovely Munich designer named Schatzi.
“Person from Munich” is a difficult word for me
But here's the thing, I do not have the best hearing. I will be the first to tell you that.
When I met the designer for the first time, I said something like
"Oh, these dirndles (Bavarian dresses) are so cute
only the best from 'Schnatzi'"
At this point, she replied,
"It's ‘Sweetie’ NOT SchNAZI!”
I had never heard the word Schatzi before that day .
I'm sorry. Forgive me, please.
However, it definitely gives the Oktoberfest song a different meaning.
Schnatzi, give me a photo
Give me a photo of the Jews
I am sorry. I am sorry.
I know that Germans really do not like Nazi jokes.
They like most jokes.
Just not Auschwitz.
I'm sorry.
That was probably worse than the marketing slogan
of the controversial taxi-hailing app when they started in Germany.
Germany
above everything!
Yes, the government really did not like them after that.
Anyway, back to the kid jokes.
Speaking of children's jokes,
when Schatzi asked me if I had ever done anything controversial,
my immediate answer was,
Of course not! I am family-friendly. Of course!
And that word seemed to fix everything.
Unlike my actual family.
So, it's always a weird time for me at passport control.
Oh, well ... Except in the US, where I'm greeted with "welcome home".
It's so nice.
Not the German nice, the English nice. Like cool.
When I arrived in Germany for the first time,
the border control officer asked me why I was entering the country.
I answered, I'm here to go to school to learn German
and she was like oh! Say something German for me.
So without a break I answered with "no"
Hey! No is German. I did what she wanted,
but she appreciated the joke and let me pass.
You probably should not be joking with border control,
but I'm crazy. Mad Lad.
Okay Germany, I have a few questions for you.
One.
Why does Germany have soup in boxes?
That's the craziest thing I've ever seen.
I bought a box yesterday.
In it, was a bag.
You’re supposed to put the bag in boiling water.
Why? Why?!
Is the pot not good enough?
Just put it in the pot!
Simply pour it in the pot!
Germany. That's so weird.
Another thing.
Mustard is served in toothpaste tubes.
What! Toothpaste tubes are only for toothpaste!
Are you really brushing your teeth with mustard?
Maybe it's a Bavarian thing. Probably.
Also, yesterday I needed water.
What did I buy?
Natural, mineral water.
What does that sound like?
Natural, mineral water
WITHOUT GAS!
I will never want water with gas.
It tastes like someone has removed all the joy from the world.
I never want gas. I would never like gas. Never. Never. NEVER!
And Germany has so many different types!
Soft? Hard?
I do not care!
And that's why I'm going back to London.
That was the drop that overflowed the barrel (the straw that broke the camel’s back).
I'm done.
DONE
So ... how was it?
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Thanks for watching!
Bye!
That is the end.
I need new glasses.