Ah. So nervous.
One thousand.
Take one, baby.
Dirty pig. Go away.
We are not done.
Oh, my god. Sorry.
We were on a hill.
I'm so sorry.
Last week I didn't do a shit for five days.
And when I finally did do a poo,
it was like my bum had this gigantic orgasm.
Oh, it was great.
It was like my bum had this gigantic orgasm.
No, I got that part. I got that bit.
I was trying to compose myself.
-Constipation you say? -Mmm.
How bad?
Well… It were almost coming out of me mouth.
What was that Otis?
Perfect pork cheese boy.
Can you say I'm so nervous?
Can you give me one little kiss guys?
-Me and Mimi? -Yeah.
-On the lips? -Yeah.
Where the fuck else?
-Wait. Out of nowhere? -Out of nowhere.
Just listening to their conversation.
What kind of kiss?
-Just a little peck. -Okay.
Just checking in.
-Okay. -Just checking your throat.
Ready?
I watch the Kardashians with my mum.
Well, well, well.
Sorry. Sorry.
Remi, I've had a lot of casual sex.
Remi? You said it now.
You see what the problem is?
You see? I'm not Remi. I'm not the motorcycle man.
Did you get a haircut?
What's a naked family?
Well, you know. Naked family.
You know, families that walk around naked,
everyone talks about their feelings.
Like you and Mrs. Jean.
I bet you walk around naked all the time.
Like you and Mrs. Jean.
I bet you walk around naked all the time.
Fucking hell. I can't do it if you're gonna laugh.
I bet you and your mum walk around naked all the time.
Sorry. That's ridiculous.
I'm getting it.
Yeah, you're definitely getting high.
-Really? -Yeah.
Yeah. Or zooted as you say.
Who says that?
The British… I think.
Yeah, chopped.
-Chopped? -Yeah.
When my mum died I was so angry all the time and--
-I'm okay. -Very good.
-I'm so angry all the time. -Very good.
No, no, no. You know, stay as long as you want,
but tomorrow is good.
-Oh, great. -Or today, or whatever.
As long as I want?
-Yeah. -Great.
Oh, suck it!
Don't worry, I douched before school.
Where did it go?
It was here, I swear.
Maybe someone did it for a hoax.
As a hoax.
Good luck.
Enough of the yearning looks, you pillock.
Just tell her you like her already.
It was at that point Isaac knew
he shouldn't have deleted that message.
I have more self-respect than that.
Can you let me out, please?
Okay, it's actually locked.
Let me do that again.
Oh, fuck me. Sorry.
I think you've got nothing to lose.
And if it all goes tits up…
I took too much flapjack.
One sec, lads.
You didn't shit for five days?
Five.
-Yeah. -Primal. Primal.
I was… I was holding myself in the foetal position.
It was painful.
Action.
-Are you stalking me, woman?
What? No?
I have to slam on the brakes first.
How did this happen?
Don't you know?
I'm not sure.
Oh, high five. Oh yeah.
Fuck off!
Take 49.
…is my clitoris.
Drop.
What the fuck has happened to your face?
Oh that was so good.
Woo!
You're right about the angry eyebrows by the way.
You should see her armpit hair.
It would be my honour to put my dick in you.
I would love to put my dick in you.
It would be my honour to put my dick in you.
Why is there a camera crew here?
Do you know why, Goat?
Why did you do that?
I'm not gonna disobey the rules
just because you have a crush.
I haven't got a crush. That's not the point.
Look, unlike you I'm taking the role of head girl so--
Sorry. Sorry.
I made eggs.
Last time you made eggs was when dad died.
He didn't die.
It's not about unity.
It's about control.
Well, you wouldn't be wearing a nose ring
in a top law firm, would you?
School's meant to prepare you for the real world.
Sorry.
Later. Alright?
I'll go get a tissue.
Get a tissue.
Come in.
I don't know what I'm doing. I'm really sorry.
Action.
So this one's labia's a bit longer which is--
Look at all those tits.
I'm reorganising my men's…
vintage…
tit collection.
-I shed blood over what? -Justice.
A rectangle man so unremarkable--
Maeve Wiley's not on the coach.
That can't be right.
I'm so sorry.
Maeve Wiley's not on the coach.
Well,
good.
-This is the one. -That was the plan.
He said "That's nice."
What?
Hold on.
Sorry. No. Sorry. Sorry.
Would you like some tea?
No.
-Nesquik? -I don't want any Nesquik.
What's this?
Oh, it's a scheme thing.
Study in America for a couple of months.
My teacher wants me to apply. I don't know.
-That doesn't sound stupid. -I didn't say it was.
Hang on.
You need to keep to the left of the line.
Oh.
Okay. Cut. Reset.
I've got an appointment with--
Reset please.
I've got you an appointment.
Hello, Mr. Hendricks.
Thank you. Thank you, Adam Groff.
For owning up to doing this huge poo
and undermining my authority.
Cheers mate. Thank you, mate.
Cheers.
Je suis. Je suis a l'aise.
Why are you laughing?
You dad has very good taste.
Those are my mum's actually.
She loved anything with peonies.
And I love everything with penises.
You must be Jackson Marchetti, famed head boy.
Sorry.
You must be Jackson Marchetti, famed head boy.
That would be me.
So sorry. I'm so sorry Jemima.
Get Simion in there.
Simion, smile through it okay?
And, Quentin you're not a fucking tenor.
Shut up!
Alistair's acting now.
Set. Set. And action.
Apparently quieter school-- Wow. Wow.
Mum?
Back it up.
Would you believe I didn't put my phone in my pocket?
Jakob.
And fish and chips. Also I like peanut b--
Fuck.
Also I like peanut butter on toast but not toast.
Fuck.
What the fuck was that?
I just saw a spider the size of Gibraltar.
Are you ready for it VT?
It's a series wrap for Asa B.
Series wrap for Asa Butterfield.