Umm, before I start the video, I just want to address a lot of comments that I received.
A lot of people said I was using guides and I'm a casual.
Uh, I beat it all by myself.
I figured it all out using the tips
from the ground, so, I don't want to hear any of that.
If you're saying that, you're just jealous cause I'm beating the game better than you are.
So here's the rest of my Dark Souls speedthrough, uh...
Don't, if you put in the comments, my dad works for YouTube, so he can ban you.
I'M A DICKHEAD
HEHEHEHEHEH GOTTEM
Ladies and gentlemen, hailing from Illinois,
it's Ricardo Dicklips,
and his tag team partners
fucking Paulie and Peter Chumpis.
Here they come, oh.
Excellent form on that roll by Paulie.
And there goes Peter.
Mushrooms? What is this, fuckin' Maple Story?
Baby ass game.
Oooh, you ain't gonna see that in Maple Story.
[ chuckles ]
[ menacing sound ]
Is that the sound a mushroom makes?
I'm right behind you. Don't worry, I'm comin'.
Oh, we got a ghost on here too.
This is really, uh, this is a really crowded ladder.
I'm right behind you. Don't worry.
Good-bye.
This part is easier than it looks most of the ti -
Ah, most of the time the things will block this electric attack.
God dammit. [ inhales deeply ]
I am fed up with this snakes.
Denzel Washington.
[ humming Indiana Jones theme ]
BITCH
Nonononono...
[ groans ]
It's no use, snake! I have the high ground
Whooo, eheheh!
Bonfire ahead?
It's about time.
OH!
Is this it?
Iron Tarkus?
[ laughs, claps ]
Iron Tarkus.
C'mon Iron Tarkus.
We gotta beat Iron Barkus!
Don't slam my guy, you big brute.
You big bitch.
Oh fuck.
Oh - nononononono -
[ screams ]
[ through laughter] Oh, you son of a bitch!
He threw me off the cliff!
Imma have to kill this guy in one hit.
You know what? He had it comin'.
DISNEY World!
I'll check the blood stain to see where my fellow player has fallen before me.
Pfft. [ laughs ]
I killed your friend, you fucker!
Fight me! [ laughs ]
The giant bat's wings are purely for show to scare away predators.
Sad bro, you need 2v1 to beat me?
1v1 me, both of you.
See what happens.
I'll whoop both your ass.
The guide says you can summon the guy to help you right here on the stairs.
Where do you go -
I'M A DICKHEAD
Is that one up there? I need somebody to help -
Uh -
- oh.
So this is actually a human player.
You can just go into other people's games
and fuck them up.
'Cause the game doesn't fuck you enough.
It lets other people come in and fuck you up.
Oh there's somebody - WHAT?
HOW DID HE HIT ME I'M WAY OVER -
You - you -
FUCKING GAME, YOU DON'T - IT DOESN'T EVEN WORK GOOD AT ALL!
Ooh, this guy can help me
[ smacks lips ] Here we go.
Oh... that's me.
EEEEEHHHHH - AAAAHHH
You piece of sh -
Oh, there's one up there on the steps!
[ panting ] I can - I can make it!
I can make it I cabababa -
Fucker!
Oh, there's one down there!
Hoo hoo!
Icandoit!
C'mon, you shitbox netcode - !
It actually worked?!
Not so tough anymore, Smaug?
Now that I have... the Hobbit with me!
Aaaand there he goes, he's dead already.
In the first second.
Hey, look!
Your partner sucks ass too!
Maybe we should team up?
And uh, me and you could, uh...
We could rule this city, Spiderman.
Fuckin' pussy!
I hate you!
'Kay, there's somebody...
Aaand it's the same guy again.
OK.
Well, at least this guy can connect.
No, HellAbove, don't try to fight the guy
that's gonna kill you in one hit.
Just run. Just run to the boss!
Fuck, now this guy's being a dickhead.
Now, Hell - why are you fighting that guy over there?
You cocklips!
Fuck this, no, I'm going in here, fuck you.
FUCK
Dickhea -
Watch out for his...
Hell from above!
I call it that because everytime he goes up in the air...
he lands on HellAbove
and fuckin' kills him.
There he goes.
[ chuckles ]
All right.
We've got him so far, we - I came to - I came way too far in this shitty boss
to go back.
We've gotta kill him this round, this is all or nothing.
I've got no more health.
Fuck me.
Fuck this game, fuck everyone who made this, fuck everything.
Ooh, he's almost dead! Buh, buh, BUH!
I am a goddamn MASTER of video games!
I AM THE BEST VIDEO GAME PLAYER IN THE GODDAMN UNIV -
Turns out, that didn't count for ANYTHING.
I have to beat him again.
Wait a minute...
Why don't I just kill him in one hit?
Oh, I'm stupid - I should've -
Whoa.
Look how big her... clothes are.
Did that big bitch paint this?
This isn't even real paint.
OH SHIT
[ mouth noises ]
[ Mario 64 level start sound ]
You can't even block this thing.
These guys are a WHEEL pain in my ass!
What's this thing?
Ohhhh.
Oh yeah.
It's one of those.
If you're gonna invade somebody's game,
don't go AFK.
Tips from the pros, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm gonna sneak up behind this fuckin' piece of dog dick
and just fuckin' knock his goddamn block -
Aaand he's playing.
Just one more, I just need one more hit.
Just one mor - GIMME ONE MORE HIT
What the FUCK?
What the fuck is -
[ through laughter ] I'm gonna put a message down.
"Be wary of a dragon."
[ maniacal laughter ]
[ through laughter ] There's no dragon here!
[ laughing continues ]
I'm stuck!
I'm stuck in this fuckin' s -
I'm gonna get cursed!
If you get cursed you lo -
Oh my god! Get me out of this shitty -
GET ME OUT OF THIS SHITTY SPOT!
[ screeching ]
[ growls ]
This is so fucking annoying!
These guys are so gay.
Let me put on my - this is hea - cat -
This hat helps you with curses.
DON'T LAUGH!
THIS REALLY HELPS, DON'T LAUGH!
DON'T LAUGH AT MY HAT, THIS HELPS!
THIS GENUINELY HELPS WITH THE SIT -
I'm gonna sneak up behind this guy, he'll never know what hit him.
Fire, ha ha ha!
How is that not a backstab you stupid fucking ga -
Oh, that's how you do it.
You attack from the front.