1 You still see it the way you imagine, not the way it is.
You replay the scenes so many times in your mind, from start to finish.
You are looking for clues that things were heading south.
You wonder what could have changed.
What you could have done differently.
It breaks your heart, but you wonder if it was your fault in any way.
You still see what could have been.
You keep hoping for what you are imagining to be, what you are experiencing instead of
the reality.
Please, pinch yourself.
You are awake.
The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will be able to process this and heal.
2 Emotional Misunderstanding.
Whatever emotion you are experiencing from your separation, it's important to understand
that they are just emotions, and do not reflect reality.
Sure, you may feel a sense of loss but in truth, you didn't lose anything, because you
never owned it.
Important side note: In dealing with your emotions, you must be careful not to seek
rescuing.
Nobody -- especially your ex -- has the power to make you feel better.
Only you do.
So be sure that you aren't looking to anyone to emotionally rescue you.
3 You are gripping tighter because you know it’s over.
Sometimes, you are forced to let go before you are ready, and there is no follow-up conversation,
there are no last words, there is no clearing the air.
Maybe you knew it was coming, maybe you didn’t.
Either way, it hurts.
You do have to let go of who this person has been, and what they have contributed to your
life, and you still want them to stay.
You don’t want to have to process.
You still think you can change their mind.
So you hold on.
You keep texting, you keep praying, you keep hoping, and you keep hurting.
You know you have to let go, but it’s almost like acknowledging it, makes you hold on tighter.
Teach yourself to breathe, and to release slowly.
Let them go because they want to go.
Real love is never forced.
You know this.
Choose to trust the process.
4 insecurity.
It is natural for people to feel insecure when threatened by the loss of something that
matters deeply to them.
If their comfort is disrupted by an unpredictable threat, most people have mastered defense
mechanisms that help them overcome their legitimate feelings of sadness and fear.
Over time, they are able to move on.
Sadly, there are people who suffer deeper levels of anxiety and may also have had multiple
losses from the past.
As relationship partners, they may have more difficulty rebalancing when abandoned by a
once-trusted partner.
They feel significantly more helpless and hopeless, as though they will never be able
to trust love again.
Sometimes, almost unable to function, their pain overcomes any hope that they will ever
get better.
5 Lack Of Trust.
This is the critical to letting go, and often at the root of peoples' issues.
I am not referring here to a lack of trusting another person.
I am referring here to a lack of trusting in life.
Sure, you may have your reasons for not trusting in life.
"Bad" things may have happened to you in the past, maybe even horrific ones.
But every day is a gift, the gift of a fresh, new day in which awesome and amazing things
can happen.
And with this gift comes another gift of choice to trust that life is good, and that life
is on your side.
Even if it appears to be taking you in a direction you don't want to go.
By trusting life, you will trust that going in that direction, is what's best for you
in the long run.
So know that you can choose to let go of the past, and trust in life to take you to where
you will truly be happy and joyful.
Or you can choose to hold on and not trust, and remain stuck in your suffering. It's up to you.