- It's a condition called being a cynical (beep) hole.
(Jordan laughs) - Oh no.
- South Park number eight, oh my gosh.
What kind of medical injuries
and shenanigans are we in for today?
Let's see what Cartman, Kenny,
and the gang have in store for us.
Alright, let's dive right in.
- And so then I put on the exact same album
that I really liked a year ago
and it sounded like (beep) to me.
- The doctor's doing a good job.
He's looking in his ear with an otoscope.
Maybe he has a cerumen impaction.
Basically, his ears are just filled with ear wax
and he can't hear
the normal sound coming through.
- Uh-huh. And what about food?
Are some of the things you thought tasted good
tasting like (beep) to you now, too?
- Yeah. I used to love these pop rock things
and I tried them the other day
and I thought they tasted like (beep).
- Could he have like a nasal congestion,
which is related to basically smell.
Time you sniff in,
you can get fluid to go through your eustachian tubes
that then clog up your ears on the inside.
- Let's just do a quick ear exam.
I'm gonna play some tween wave music
and you tell me what you hear.
(pop music plays)
- Sounds like (beep).
- Uh-huh, now I'm gonna play you some good old Bob Dylan.
(folk music)
♪ Feel like- ♪ (Jordan laughs)
- Why does he keep hearing like farting noises?
- That sounds like (beep) too.
- Wait, this sounds like (beep) to you too.
- Yeah, dude, it's just (beep).
- He's saying it sounds like (beep).
Well, actually it sounds like farting noises.
Sometimes it's really hard to get the exact story
that a patient's trying to tell you.
Just try to be specific
and very direct about the symptoms
that you're trying to describe.
- I'm gonna try something else.
Look at these two pictures.
One of them is an ad
for Kevin James new movie "The Zookeeper"
and the other is a turd in a microwave.
Which one is the ad for "The Zookeeper?"
- What? - They both look the same.
- They look the same.
- You don't see any difference in the picture?
- They both look like turds
about to be reheated to me. - Oh dear.
- Just with a different turd. - I think I know what this is.
- We have images where you kind of look
and describe what you see.
It's called the Rorschach Test.
Psychiatrists use it to kind of
see where your brain thinks.
- You see Stan, as you get older,
things that you used to like start looking
and sounding like (beep).
And things that seemed (beep) as a child,
don't seem as (beep).
With you somehow the wires have gotten crossed
and everything looks and sounds like (beep) to you.
It's a condition called being a cynical (beep) hole.
(Jordan laughs)
- Excuse us, we're trying to get a picture
of Britney Spears.
- Join the club.
- Don't you recognize us.
We're Britney Spears' kids.
- You are?
- Not me.
(Jordan laughs)
- Excuse me, Mrs. Spears,
but your kids are here
and they've brought you a squirrel.
- My boys? Really?
Send them in.
You mean it was just a joke.
- Alright, lady, just flash us your crouch or something.
- I've got a better idea.
- You do?
(Jordan gasps) - Yeah.
(rifle cocks) - [All] No!
(rifle fires) - Oh no!
(dramatic music)
I've had people come to the emergency department
with GSWs to their leg, to their arm,
to their face, and the ones that make it
are typically ones that, you know,
the angles are wrong
and sometimes you actually kind of blow off your jaw.
And so there's a hole there
or the bone is missing and they survive.
- She's alive.
- Oh, thank god.
- Mrs. Spears, these boys wanted to say something.
(Britney gurgles)
- Oh my gosh!
Obviously, we all know that that's not practical
but looking at the anatomy,
the tongue is still intact,
and the jaw is still there,
but the jaw cannot move 'cause there's no hinge point.
- Oh no.
- The boys are just shocked at how good you look, Britney.
Right boys?
- Oh yeah. Yeah.
It's not even noticeable.
(Britney gurgles)
- Well, I'll let you boys have your say.
- Oh my gosh, so in this instance,
sometimes we actually have individuals
that have so much trauma to their upper airway that
obviously we need to intubate them
if they're still alive, right.
- I can't wait to talk sarcastaball
because it's really compelling.
Joining me now is the coach of the Denver Broncos
and the inventor of sarcastaball, Randy Marsh.
Thanks for calling in Randy.
Really happy to have you on the show.
- Yeah, it's awesome to be on your show.
- Randy, first off,
thanks for taking a sport that we all love
and turning it into a sarcastic nightmare.
Way to go.
- Randy something's happened.
Are you unable to stop being sarcastic?
- Oh right, I can't stop being sarcastic now.
(Jordan laughs)
- It's so hard.
You're like, are they being sarcastic
or not being sarcastic?
- I'm telling you, Randy,
I think this sport is doing something to your brain.
- Right, it's doing something to my brain
and now I can't stop being sarcastic.
- So there you go.
That's actually really good depiction
what a CAT scan machine looks like.
A CT scan is the same thing as a CAT scan.
It's a lot of x-rays that are put basically in 3D form.
So your first image of checking somebody's brain
would be a CT scan because it's the fastest.
So we don't use film like that anymore.
It's all on a computer.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Marsh
but there appears to be permanent damage.
- Oh boy, this is great.
My week just keeps getting better.
- How do we fix this doctor?
- You don't, I'm sorry.
There just isn't enough research
and how sarcasm affects the brain.
- So that's it.
I should just go home
and forget about what this sport has done to me.
Let thousands of people play sarcastaball
and get hurt too.
Oh really, you think there's a correlation
between sarcasm and sarcastaball?
- You're seeing both sides of the brain
and you're seeing the gray and the white matter.
Typically the black on a CT scan is gonna be
your cerebrospinal fluid that's in there.
Sometimes air will show up the same color.
The white could be related to blood or contrast eye
or basically kind of like the meninges
that separate the brain.
So you have like your falx and the tentorium,
those sorts of things can show up white as well.
- No sarcastaball has nothing to do with it.
I just, I just really enjoy being sarcastic
and so I must be finding an excuse.
- You know, I have a 50 year old Alzheimer's patient
out in the waiting room who can't even remember his family.
- So Alzheimer's is the type of dementia.
And basically it has to do with plaques
that are formed in the brain
and actually causes the brain to kind of
get more dense and shrink down.
- Let's forget about him
and focus on how sarcastaball
might be damaging people's brains.
- My son is out there playing that game.
It's heartwarming to see you have such high regard
for his safety.
- Sarcastaball don't really understand,
but football there's a lot of injuries
that related to your brain,
concussions, traumatic brain injury, fractures.
You can get some bleeding.
We're at the infirmary. (dramatic music)
- Doctor, you have to give me something.
I'm really sick.
- What exactly are your symptoms?
- I'm like, starting to question things that I've done.
Like, starting to question the person I've become.
And I can't sleep at night. I-
- Well, laying in bed, thinking all night long,
that is insomnia or relating to anxiety and depression.
They're kind of on the same spectrum.
- I just lay in cell wondering
if I've been a bad father lately and a bad husband.
Please, it really hurts.
I need some marijuana.
(Jordan laughs)
- There are good reasons to use marijuana.
If you guys are interested,
I'll leave a link below to the videos that I've made.
So typically the medications that are used
in these facilities are minimum,
but when it relates to these type of requests
typically they do not provide those types of medications.
- Sounds like you haven't had access to marijuana
for a while now reality is setting in.
- I just need a little medicinal weed
and these symptoms will all go away.
- Well, maybe they shouldn't go away.
Maybe this is your wake up call
that you've been abusing drugs
and need to face all your wrongdoings.
- There are obviously are instances
where withdrawal can cause issues.
We're worried about benzodiazepines causing
intractable seizures that can cause issues.
And then also methamphetamines withdrawal
will actually cause priapism.
- You need to turn your life around!
Clearly you have the addiction problem
and I'm just your whipping boy!
- He seems on edge.
Maybe it's related to being incarcerated
or sometimes when people do come off different substances,
they do get aggressive.
They get frustrated.
"South Park" is intense.
It was entertaining.
I'm glad I was able to pull some of this apart
and discuss what truly happens in the field that I work in.
And if you guys like this,
definitely check out this playlist,
binge watch the whole thing for me, please.
And as always make sure you subscribe,
turn those bell notifications on, hit that like button.
Thank you so much for watching
and stay healthy, my friends.
(upbeat music)