Translator: Chiaki Ishihara Reviewer: Silvia Maragliano
Hi, I'm a feminist.
How many of you here consider yourself a feminist?
How many of you here, just at this moment, thought I might be hard to get along with?
I know some of you are smiling and thinking,
"Oh man, I don't like this person."
But that's OK.
That's exactly how I felt when I just started university
and met a person calling herself a feminist.
Men as well as women dislike people calling themselves feminists
or people who bring up the gender issue.
A couple of years later, during my university years,
as I became more open to new ideas,
I started to realize that women were still facing discriminations.
So I said to my boyfriend at that time that I wanted to change society
so that all women and men can be truly equal.
I said, "Isn't it crazy that Japan is one of the most developed countries
but has only 3.1% of female board members?
Other countries, like the United States,
have 20%."
He was surprised and looked at me and said,
"Rena, how can you change something like that?
And even if you can,
it's not that women cannot become leaders anymore:
they just don't want it. Right?
You sound like a feminist."
Ever since, I stopped bringing up the gender issue,
because every time I said something and sounded like a feminist,
people treated me as if I were a weird person.
I still believed that men and women should be equal,
and more women should become leaders.
But I stopped talking about it
because I was scared to be disliked and to stand out.
My university was one of the top institutions in Japan,
especially in business.
It was Keio University.
I was surrounded by very intelligent female and male students there.
I went to Keio, because I wanted to achieve something great
and wanted to have a successful career in business.
So imagine my surprise
when I heard about the research
showing that 80% of female co-eds at my faculty
wanted to become housewives.
I was shocked.
I was shocked that a person who wanted to have a successful career
after graduating from Keio University -
which seemed to be a natural thing to me -
was in a minority.
I was shocked and I couldn't wrap my head around that fact,
but at the same time I didn't want that to ruin my ambition.
Instead, I started to think
that I wanted to prove I, as a woman, could become successful at business.
That's why, after graduating from my university,
I started to work at an investment bank,
which is a good place to start for a professional career.
First year, I was in Singapore, and it was amazing.
Two-thirds of my managers and half of my colleagues were all female.
It was more than I expected.
So at that time I thought,
"Maybe women can become leaders if they want it."
And then, I came back to Tokyo.
At the Tokyo office, seven of us were female,
and the rest, 70 to 80, were male colleagues.
But this ratio is just the beginning of a male-dominant working environment.
Every Friday, these male colleagues went out for drinks,
to meet other women even though they had families at home.
They openly joked about the sexual accomplishments with the women
in front of all the colleagues.
The way to describe it is
that these male colleagues saw women as objects or trophies,
so that they didn't mind sharing their opinions.
As you can imagine, I felt incredibly uncomfortable there.
But I had to pretend that I understood them,
that I was also a "dude,"
and I had to laugh about it with them.
I felt that if I'd spoken out, they'd have disliked me,
and they'd have thought I was hard to get along with
or hard to work with.
Much like those of you who raised your hands earlier,
or much like my younger self,
I felt that speaking out would limit my opportunities in my career.
After a year of experience in this male-dominant working environment,
I couldn't get away from the feeling that I did not belong there.
Around the same time, I got engaged.
This engagement, and the fact that I felt like I was not belonging there,
changed my mind 180 degrees.
Even though I got engaged without being pregnant,
I started to prepare myself to fit into the role of a woman,
to become a housewife and stay-at-home mom.
I started to think
that maybe I would be better off becoming a stay-at-home mom and housewife
rather than having a career.
I remember thinking,
"Why do I have to work so hard
even though I'm gonna quit after a couple of years
when I get pregnant anyway?"
That's when I stopped leaning in. Instead, I Ieaned back.
I stopped taking all the opportunities that I saw at work.
After the engagement, I had a chance to talk to my friends from university
to celebrate my engagement.
And we were talking about my situation,
and how I used to be so ambitious in university.
By talking to them, I realized how I had lost my ambition,
and also realized that this is how female leaders disappear in Japan.
80% of my female co-eds at my university want to become housewives
rather than having a successful career in business.
This is not showing they're not ambitious enough,
but this is showing
that they're just following the social norms and messages
that they received through their entire lives.
And the rest, 20%, like me,
we go into society with high motivation,
realize and face the society that subconsciously tells you
workplaces are not for women.
And society subconsciously tells you
that a woman should be the one taking care of the household,
and the man the one going out there and earning money for the family.
After I realized this, I started to think:
If fitting into the social norm
is keeping me away from what I want to achieve,
I do not want to follow that.
That's when I decided to lean in again,
instead of leaning back.
I started to take all the opportunities and responsibilities that I saw.
Now, while I follow a full-time career,
I act as a co-founder and leader of Lean In Tokyo.
Lean In Tokyo is a part of the "Lean In" movement,
which started in the United States,
led by the book called "Lean In" written by Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg.
"Lean In" means to take a step forward for your personal goals
and not let social norms keep you from doing so.
Lean In Tokyo is aiming to make a society
where all women can challenge, and pursue their ambition.
I founded this group because I knew there are many women like me.
Women who go into society with high motivation
but face environments that limit their opportunities.
Women who stop raising their hands and lose ambition
because they feel subconsciously barriered to success.
I felt the responsibility to help them and support them to lean in.
Lean In Tokyo provides an environment
where all women can learn from senior leaders
how to manage their life events and work at the same time.
We also provide a place
where all women can talk about the issues that they face at home and at work.
Since we've started up our group this year,
we've seen 500 men and women through our events.
These are the people who are truly leaning in for the gender equality.
By gathering and talking,
we are lifting each other up.
Men helping women, women helping other women:
together we are better and stronger.
So let's get back to the word "feminism" for a moment.
Which of these pictures do you think show feminists?
Actually, every one of them.
Although all of them have a different way of expressing themselves,
they are all feminists,
because the true definition of feminism is to believe in gender equality.
And under this definition,
I think everybody here should become feminist,
and nobody should be ashamed to be recognized as a feminist.
Because, in order to change social norms,
we have to openly talk about it.
I'm not saying that choosing to become a housewife and and stay-at-home mom
is a bad choice for women:
I respect all the women dedicating their time and efforts to their families.
What I am saying
is that women should be able to choose their own path.
In fact, feminism is not only for women;
it's also for men,
because men are also forced into one option by social norm,
which is to choose work over home.
I'm glad to have my husband calling himself feminist,
and we are both feminists
because we want each other to have the same options:
either me pursuing my career,
or him becoming a stay-at-home dad.
In fact, I think I was always a feminist:
the only choice I made is to openly talk about it
and to lean in.
This is the choice that you guys can make too.
I know some of you here might not have faced gender inequality yet,
but I want you to remember the true definition of feminism
and to lean in in the future.
Thank you.
(Applause)