Probably because I'm a professional psychologist I get the question a lot
about what to do about depression. I'm not going to get clinical on you
today. I want to give you some very practical things that you can do.
Let's start with thinking a little differently about
depression from a clinical standpoint. Now, I promised i wouldn't get clinical
on you. But from a clinical standpoint, depression is officially a diagnosis.
In fact, it's a diagnostic category and there are several different
subtypes of depression. We're not going to think about it as a diagnosis
for the purposes of this video. Instead let's think about this
as a human experience. And by that, I mean it is not something
that you have, it is not something that you are.
It is something that you experience. Now, does that change anything for you?
All too often we get into an identity that's tied up. I am
depressed. I am depressed. Did you hear that?
Or I have clinical depression. I have depression. Like it's a thing
or a disease. Now, I know that there's some arguments for a disease
kind of analogy. But just try on the difference when you say,
"I experience depression." See, that puts it just a step away from
me. It's not me. It's not even something I
have. It's simply something that I experience. this might seem simple
it's an important thing that you can do about depression. Don't take this on as
an identity. Let's look at it as an
experience and see what else we can do about it. Before I get into this next
point, I have to acknowledge this is where I get fired. So, if you've
got the fortitude to hang with me, consider this for a minute. Depression
is often supported and maintained by a stubborn
and even prideful adherence to certain beliefs
or thoughts. I'm not even getting into the chemical component of depression
right here. Because I don't meaningfully separate
those in my mind. Every experience we have has a chemical
component to it. Every thought, every feeling, every belief is encoded in
our nervous system with the help and facilitation of
chemicals. So, I'm not denying the chemical
component. I'm getting down to some of the root causes of depression
which have to do with thoughts or belief patterns
that we hang on to and we don't even realize we are.
Let me give you an example. I have an opinion about you.
I do. Now, I am a professional psychologist.
And I have an opinion about you. I'd be even happy to share with you what that
opinion is. I think you are a good person who's doing the best
that you know how to do with what you've currently got.
That's my opinion about you. Now, you might be thinking, "Dr.
Paul, you don't even know me." Well, maybe I do and maybe I don't.
But I've still got an opinion about you. Notice this: You have an opinion about
you, don't you? Yes, you do. Now, does your
opinion match mine? Probably not. Who's right?
Me or you?
Now, this is where you're going to see some interesting things going on in your
mind. The underlying belief pattern has you
holding on to your own opinion
above mine. And I am a professional psychologist.
How prideful is that? You think your opinion is more accurate than mine.
Now, whether it is or it isn't is not the point here. I just want you to
notice that you hang on to your own opinion above
virtually any other opinion including mine. But what about the people who love
you? What about the people in your family?
What about people who do know you well? And who have a very
positive opinion of you? Does your opinion match theirs?
Probably not. And who's right? Just notice that you're hanging on to
your own opinion. Okay? I'm not even asking you to change it. But
notice that you're doing it. These prideful beliefs
and thoughts tend to perpetuate depression. And you don't have to change
it, I just want you to notice it. Can you see why I get fired for this one?
People don't want to hear it. But I got to tell you the truth so that
you can figure out what to do about it. In the interest of getting some
practical strategies for for what to do about
depression, what if... Let's play with that for a
minute. What if? It's a consideration, all right? I know a
lot of my colleagues are really big on affirmations. There's places where I like
to use those in my practice as well. Let's put affirmations aside for a
minute. That's kind of an old worn out idea
and let's go to considerations instead. What if?
What if I were good enough? Meaning, what if I
already am good enough? Now, try that on for a minute.
Notice if you try on a new thought, you're going to have a little initial
resistance. Did you feel it? Did you feel your own mind start to
resist what i just suggested? Ask yourself, "What if i am
already good enough?" And then let it be a consideration.
Don't fight it. Don't resist it. Simply try it on.
And notice that there's something in your mind that wants to
fight it or argue with it or resist it. Just notice that.
Those are the beliefs that I'm talking about that can keep you stuck in
depression. We're trying on a new thought. That's all
we're doing. Just trying it on. See, we don't want to get in a battle
with our subconscious mind. Our subconscious is hanging on to the
old belief that "I am not good enough and here's 5 reasons
why I'm not." That's the part we don't want to tick
off when we try on a new idea. So, we're not saying... No,
I'm not saying "IAM good enough." I'm saying,
"What if I were? I'm just trying it on." And then our subconscious is like, "Oh,
okay. I thought you were trying to say something there for a minute."
Our subconscious is going to chill out and maybe let us consider it.
Now, as you ask this new what if question as you try it on, how would it
feel if you really believed it? How would that feel? To believe that you
are already good enough. That you're a good
enough mom, that you're a good enough dad,
that you're a good enough spouse or employee or
human being. How would it feel? Now, I believe
personally and professionally that those feelings that you can imagine,
if you were to really believe that, those feelings are an indicator that
you're on the path to truth. And I believe that believing that truth
about yourself is going to help to alleviate this
depression. Okay? This is almost magical but just try
it on. Give it a shot. Now, let's get really
practical. We've been talking about the thinking.
The next thing that you can do about depression is to do
something. You are bright. You've been paying attention and you
already know 3 or 4 things that you could do
to improve your situation. Is this true? Yeah.
You already know some things. One of my clients, I had this conversation with her
and she said, "You know, I know i need to exercise."
Yeah, the psychological research shows that if you move
your body, if you get good cardiovascular exercise at least 3 to 5 times a
week. You're going to do better with your
depression. And most people know that. But are they exercising? Are you
exercising? Notice what your mind did. Okay? So, you come up with several reasons
why you're not. And you've already convinced yourself that you can't
because you don't have the time, you don't have the money, you don't have
the energy, you don't feel like it. That's one of the things I hate about
depression. Because it creates in our own mind a
resistance to the very things that are going to help us.
You know that you need to exercise, eat a balanced diet,
connect with people socially. You already know all these things.
So, this strategy is that you actually do something. You don't have to do
everything. I'm going to let you off the hook for that. Because that will create
pressure and you'll just stop. You won't even
do it. It's the start that stops us. Can you hear what I'm saying there? In
fact, let's just handle really quickly some of the
resistance that comes up in our own mind. "I don't have time."
It's a lie. You've got time to do some... You're watching this
video. That's taking your time. What if you were
to take just 5 minutes. Commit to this right now.
5 minutes. As soon as you finish this video,
take 5 minutes to do whatever occurred to you that you need to do
when we had our conversation just a moment ago. If it's exercise for example,
exercise for 5 minutes. You might think, "Well I can't go to the
gym, I don't even have my shoes on." Whatever, okay. Do what you can
with what you have. And if it means that you stand up and
sit down 3 times. If you're in a wheelchair, get your arms
moving. If your arms don't move, move your
legs or whatever you can move. Do something,
okay? And let's just abandon all the excuses
and do something. Even if you can only do 5 minutes. And you might be thinking,
"Well, 5 minutes? Isn't going to make a difference?"
Yes, it will. Psychologically it'll make a huge difference.
And even physically, you got to start somewhere. The only place you can start
is from where you are right now. "I don't have time", always a lie. You've
got time. You're going to spend the next 5
minutes after this video doing something. Guaranteed.
Choose what you're going to do and direct it. You're with me?
Here's another one: "I don't feel like it."
I've already addressed this because most of what would help you,
you don't feel like doing. Folks, that's the weather report.
It is simply the weather report. It says if you were to walk out your front door,
and... Oh, it's raining. It's snowing. It's 115 degrees outside.
Whatever. It's simply the weather report. You still get to go do whatever you're
going to do. We had a saying in Finland. When I was
living in Finland, it got cold. I mean sub-zero temperatures
on a regular basis. And there's a saying that "There's no such
thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing."
That's what we're talking about, okay? You dress up, bundle up if you have to.
Wear a hat. I don't know. Do what you need to to do it anyway.
How you feel is simply the weather report. And I know you're not going to
feel like doing some of these things. But you've got to. I don't know any other
way past that. You have to actually take the
action. Thinking about it? Not going to get you
there. It's important but it's not sufficient.
You've got to actually do something. I don't have time is a lie. I don't feel
like it? It's simply the weather report. And
whatever else comes up for you, let's just handle it and move forward.
You got to do something. And this is on you. But you don't have to
do it alone. You've got a lot of support. I'm here to
support you. Rewind the video and watch it
after you do your 5 minutes, okay? You can do that. You can hire a coach or
therapist. You can get into a support group or a
mastermind. Do something. Let's team up on this and move forward
and do something about depression. I told you
you're not alone. And you know you need to do something.
Let me give you some resources. You may not even be aware of the powerful
resources that are available to you. And it's just a click away. Come over to
Live On Purpose Central. I built this for you. There's a link in
the description. Go.liveonpurposecentral.com
where you're going to find courses and events
and discussion groups and even live office hours with me. You can
pop in and ask me personally any questions that you have.
Lots of resources. Come check it out.
Go.liveonpurposecentral.com