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>> ROBOT: Current number.
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What about a gun that you aim it at someone,
it instantly figures out what their phone number is
and texts them insults, just,
contextualized insults.
So it's like the camera figures out what they're wearing,
identifies where it comes from,
auto generates a bunch of insults,
and just crushes their soul.
That'd be an amazing weapon.
>> This doesn't get out, okay?
We have to go into R and D right now.
[buzz]
>> We're continuing to work our way through all the articles
that are over at TheModernRogue.com.
This one was written Pauli Poisuo,
I think I'm saying that right.
But it's five awesome, badass, insane homegrown weapons.
[electrical whirring]
>> All right, so the first one is from J Laser Video,
and he does something that I have wanted
since I was probably in fifth grade.
>> Yeah, dude,
flaming sword right? >> A flaming sword!
>> Okay, now, here's the thing.
I would've expected a flaming sword,
and there are certainly performers that
you put a big wick on a sword, >> Okay.
>> You soak it with fuel, you light it,
and you got a flaming sword. >> Okay.
>> But he goes above and beyond because his sword
is shooting a jet of flame at all times.
>> He's got some butane canisters right by the handle,
and so it's really not that the sword is flaming,
but there are flames shooting out
on either side of the blade. >> I mean look,
when it's in your chest,
you're not going to be arguing that point.
[laughing]
>> You're like, you're like,
"Ah, I'm dying!" >> Oh, I really thought
this was on fire itself, but,
but that's pretty ingenious, what you did there!
>> Also, you're cauterizing the wounds as they're happening!
>> Yeah.
>> So I guess this one's first on the leaderboard.
We have an entrance.
Good job. >> I like it.
>> Current champion.
>> Current champion!
[mechanical whirring]
Here's something, I don't know if you remember,
but this is something that you kind of wanted to do
a long time ago.
>> What? Oh, oh, yes!
You're talking about like I want to to do a magic thing
with a Tesla gun, live on stage!
>> We were sitting out on your back deck, and there may
have been alcohol involved. >> Maybe.
>> And you were pitching me this idea
that I told you was completely insane,
and you were still just,
"No, no, I think, I think this is--"
So I'm still waiting for you to do it.
>> This is pre-YouTube.
>> This is pre-YouTube. >> Yeah.
>> You know what I'm talking about?
>> You're talking about the way I had a vision,
it was wearing a backpack,
and basically having a repulsor ray,
this is before Iron Man, even came out in movie theaters,
but basically, I wanted to walk out,
and have a Tesla arc come out of my hand,
and I was going to take like a pumpkin or something
and cover it in cat fuel, >> Yeah.
>> So that I would blast,
and the lightning would trigger the fuel,
>> Boom!
>> And cause it to burst into flames!
>> Yeah, it's an awesome idea,
but you're telling me it's like,
"how hard can it be?", this is what you were saying,
"how hard could it be," you know I'm thinking,
Hard! >> Pretty hard!
>> Real hard!
>> So we have this video from SmarterEveryDay,
where they built a freaking Tesla Gun.
We have to adjust the leaderboard.
>> Okay. >> Fire sword versus Tesla Gun.
>> I don't know, I mean, how, how deadly,
how effective is the Tesla Gun?
>> It depends on what you set it to, I would imagine,
but it seems like it's got a short range,
and it seems like it's twitchy and...
>> That goes to the batteries. >> Unpredictable.
>> Like, nobody's business.
>> Yeah, I'm going to go with the fire sword,
for the simplicity,
I'm going to have to say fire sword is still number one.
>> Yeah, the Tesla Gun's very showy,
the Fire sword's also showy,
but I think the Fire sword is effective.
>> Also, in the video, you know,
they're touching the Tesla lightning bolts,
so it's like, >> That's bad.
>> Not exactly the most impressive thing.
>> It's a tickle canon! >> Yeah.
[laughing] Tickle canon!
>> That was Tesla's last words,
The tickle canon. >> The tick--
[machanical whirring]
>> So this one is built by JoergSprave,
>> Which is a great name.
>> I believe I'm saying it right.
>> I hope you are. >> Yeah.
>> 'Cause otherwise he's got a fully automatic crossbow,
and he's going to come getcha.
>> Yeah, he is the impresario of projectile weapons
on YouTube, and he took a drill,
and did this badass device that I can't even look at it
and reckon how it works. >> Oh no, no, no,
I think that's what I love about it,
it's like, totally correct in how it works.
You have the magazine, and that's gravity fuel,
the drill turns up this rocket that loads everything,
fires it, and cues up the next one.
>> We cracked it, bam! >> It's automatic,
I mean, I love everything about it,
from the backyard aesthetic,
to the functionality of it,
to the speed-- >> And it's so elegant!
>> It's great, and apparently,
you're holding the handle in one hand,
and you have your other hand pulling a trigger,
but he says, as counter-intuitive as that looks,
it feels totally natural.
To me, this one is the new leader.
New champion, get bent, Fire Sword,
because I'm rating on novelty, and effectiveness, and
which I would love to have in a fight,
and everything about this is a clear winner to me.
[mechanical whirring]
We're going to say the words,
and it's going to sound great,
and then every word we say after it will be less great.
[laughing]
>> Handheld Gatling Gun--
>> A homemade handheld Gatling Gun.
Sounds great.
>> In theory, real good, right?
>> His video is hot nonsense!
>> It's wonderful! >> And on top of that,
it's in French, which doesn't help me understand it,
but you would think at some point
I would comprehend what this does at all,
it's nonsense! >> It's some French kid
who built a handheld Gatling Gun.
But it's really more like a cylinder--
>> It just looks like a
six-shooter revolver, right? >> revolver type gun?
>> Yeah, yeah.
And he says [beep] to the camera a lot.
[laughing]
>> He distills badass-ness?
>> He did distill badass-ness,
which I want to know more about that,
and how it factored into the making of the gun.
>> Boom! [beep]
[upbeat music]
>> And as far as effectiveness,
he was shooting a paper target,
but he had a lot of flair.
>> Sure. >> He had a lot of spirit.
>> Okay, like, it's not taking number one,
number one still has to be the automatic crossbow,
number two is still flaming sword,
it's nowhere near flaming sword territory.
>> Agree.
>> Is it better than the Tesla Gun?
>> I'm going to go with, hmm, let me think about this one,
hell no, it's not, it's at the bottom.
>> Yeah yeah yeah, yeah.
Wait, we'll take the Batman high road on this,
say, like, "No guns".
[mechanical whirring]
Dude, this one is a big sideways turn,
a freaking laser bazooka?
>> Yeah, there's some legit science going on here,
not even ScienceAjason-cy, like legit science.
>> It is phenomenal, so, okay,
basically it's just over, yeah,
it's exactly what it sounds like,
it is extraordinarily powerful laser,
but as you watch, I mean,
it takes a little bit of time to catch cardboard on fire.
I guess it pops balloons. >> Yeah.
>> Certainly you can blind everybody,
like, just, instantly. >> Oh, immediately!
>> The moment you look at it at all,
It's like, I think he said like, 33 million times
more than the sun. >> Worse than looking
into the sun, yeah. >> Yeah.
>> For that, super effective, right?
'Cause an enemy that can't fight, can't see.
Wait, nope, nope. >> Yeah--
Yep, it's true, if you can't fight, you're blind.
[laughing] >> There you go.
>> So how do we adjust our rankings?
Ahead of the Gatling gun, for sure.
>> Definitely ahead of the Gatling gun.
>> Is it ahead of the Tesla coil?
>> I think it's ahead of the Tesla coil
as well. >> Yeah.
>> Yeah. >> Okay.
>> I think it is because he was popping balloons,
it has the ability to blind people,
[snaps fingers] instantly.
>> I guess it's got to go ahead of the flaming sword, right?
>> Yes. >> Which would you rather,
I mean, flaming sword! >> I think it's ahead of
the flaming sword as well.
>> But you can cut a head off with the flaming sword.
But you'll be blind before you get there.
>> Yeah, exactly. >> Like you're riding up,
and you're like, ah, there's nothing!
>> I'm giving him points for the ingenuity.
>> I think I want to take away points because it's like,
it's just a real power, cranked up laser.
Whereas the ingenuity,
with the sprockets and the drilling all that?
>> Okay, that was really clever too.
I think there are two different types
of mechanical aptitude. >> Yep, I feel like,
this one is definitely the most Tony Stark.
>> It is the most Tony Stark though.
>> I'm going to stick to my fully automatic crossbow.
>> Okay.
>> You can have a laser bazooka.
>> I'm going to stick with the laser bazooka.
>> Okay, and I will have to duct-tape my eyes,
and fight blind >> Spraying paint.
>> Yeah exactly!
[laughing] >> I hope I got Jason!
>> And it's like, I don't see anything,
I just, I'm like, ow, ow, ow ow ow!
[laughing]
And I'm dancing around.
This is a battle I want to see.
>> I think we need to contact both of them
and have a showdown.
>> Done, done and done.
>> We could just try to kill each other with each weapon.
[wheezing]
For our millionth subscriber!
>> Oh jeez, don't, don't make that promise.
I predict that they're all going to say
that Tesla gun should be higher.
Although I don't see why.
>> Yeah, well, because it got Tesla in it,
and the Internet loves Tesla.
>> Internet's got the biggest boner for Tesla!
Dude was legitimately insane!
>> He was wackaroo. >> Yeah!
>> Come at me, Internet!
That's right, I hate Tesla! Boom!
Yeah, that's right. Edison.