Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we will learn about twelve tactics that put
narcissists in their place. Now, let’s begin.
Are you tired of narcissists always getting their way? Do you know someone who takes advantage
of others and needs to be put in their place? Narcissistic personalities are often toxic and
manipulative toward the people in their lives. This extreme personality type is characterized
by excessive self-interest, entitlement, and a lack of empathy, all of which drive their
self-centered behavior. They often abuse the kindness of others. They manipulate people’s
thoughts and behaviors, and they use guilt as a weapon to push their needs onto others.
For these reasons, narcissism is part of the dark triad, a trio of destructive personality traits,
including psychopathy and Machiavellianism. There are, however, different degrees of
narcissism, ranging from mild self-absorption to pathological mental illness. If you know someone
who is persistently guilty of narcissistic behavior, chances are they fall somewhere in
the middle of this spectrum. Their narcissism likely exceeds what is considered normal and
healthy. However, there are still steps you can take to resist their narcissistic tendencies and
show them how their self-centered behavior affects others. If their narcissism continues to worsen to
the point of extreme pathological behavior, it may not matter what you say or do. On the other hand,
if this person is capable of finding perspective and occasionally using empathy, putting them in
their place may be the best thing for them, you, and the health of your relationship.
Before we dive into twelve tactics you can use to put narcissists in their place,
let’s make one clear distinction. These tactics aim not to get revenge on narcissistic people
or watch them flounder as you toy with their minds. How would that be any better than the
tactics narcissists themselves use to manipulate you? Instead, these strategies force narcissists
to reconsider their intentions and behavior. At the same time, these tactics will protect you
from their toxic manipulation, giving you more power in the relationship and preserving your
confidence and self-esteem. A narcissistic person can suck the life out of you if you let them,
but with these twelve tactics, you can defend yourself and put any narcissist in their place.
1. Unwavering Denial One of the hardest things to
tell a narcissist is the word “no.” Narcissists rarely respect your wants and needs and often
capitalize on your attempts to express doubt or hesitation. They know that you will break
if they apply enough pressure, and that gives them the confidence to walk all over you.
If you want to put a narcissist in their place, don’t let anything change your mind. When you say
no, be confident and unwavering. Don’t leave any room for guilt or persuasion. Tell this person
“no” again and again because there’s nothing they hate more… than not getting their way.
2. The Honest Truth Lying comes naturally
to many narcissists. However, if you know that someone has a habit of being dishonest,
you can quickly identify fake information and begin unraveling their web of lies. This can
be startling for a narcissist and sends them into a panic. They’re accustomed to getting away with
their lies, smoothly passing fiction for fact. As soon as you shatter this illusion, any narcissist
will frantically stack lie upon lie, trying desperately to prove you are the crazy one.
If there’s one thing, narcissists can’t stand… it’s the honest truth.
3. Digging Deeper If you really want to
put a narcissist in their place, take some time to learn how they think, feel, and socialize.
For example, you can often neutralize their manipulatives tactics by identifying the kind
and nature of their narcissism. For example, some narcissists believe they are larger than life,
constantly feeding their egos with delusions of grandeur. Other narcissists are introverted
and covert, expressing their narcissism through fear, insecurity, and victimization.
The more you learn about the narcissist in your life,
the easier it is to understand how they think and feel.
Often, narcissists lash out at others because no one seems to understand them at a deeper level.
Be the one person who looks beneath the surface, and you will throw any narcissist off their game.
4. Losing the Game Here’s a mistake many people make
when dealing with narcissistic people. You notice their manipulative tendencies, and naturally,
you feel betrayed and offended by their behavior. So, you try to beat them at their own game. You
may seek revenge or satisfaction, so you try to beat them at their own game. The problem is, once
you start playing their game, you’ve already lost. If you want to put a narcissist in their place,
take a step back and remind yourself that you are not a narcissistic or manipulative person.
Instead of getting angry or fighting fire with fire, do something different.
Try feeling sorry for them. Tell them that their behavior is immature and disappointing. Refuse to
play their game, and you can never lose. 5. Calm Reinforcement
Narcissists are notoriously disrespectful of other people’s boundaries.
If they want something, they’ll go to any lengths to get it, even if that means stepping on your
clearly defined limitations. It’s impossible to stop a narcissist from overstepping boundaries,
but you can control how you respond to their careless and selfish behavior.
Here’s the key. Never let a narcissist feel like you are uncomfortable or upset.
If this person thinks they’re getting the best of you, they’ll continue overstepping
until you have no boundaries left. On the other hand, if you’re calm, logical, and grounded,
you can consistently reinforce your boundaries and always retain the power in your relationship.
6. Demanding Action
Narcissists make a lot of empty promises. They use these empty promises to earn the
trust of others and take advantage of their generosity. But you don’t have to fall into
the same trap. You can put these narcissistic people in their place with one simple phrase.
Any time they make a promise or commitment to you, say, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” In
other words, withhold any expectations until you see results. If you prioritize actions over words,
a narcissistic person will never get the best of you.
7. Emotional Detachment Narcissistic personalities thrive in emotionally
volatile situations, often taking advantage of irrational thinking and poor judgment. Emotion,
to a narcissist, is like oxygen; without it, they cannot function or survive.
So, if you want power over a narcissistic person, don’t get emotionally invested.
Narcissistic personalities lose all their power and control when people ignore their
guilt trips and provocations. As long as you’re emotionally detached, you can put just about
any narcissist in their place. 8. The Irrationality Defense
Here’s another simple trick you can use to get the better of narcissistic people. Whenever
they’re being irrational or controlling, don’t subject yourself to their manipulation. Instead,
walk away. Refuse to interact with them until they can approach you in a calm and controlled manner.
By refusing to interact with this person, you’re not only sparing yourself from their toxicity
and abuse but also blocking this narcissistic person from indulging their selfish impulses.
The longer you ignore them, the more stifled and desperate for attention they become.
Sometimes, this desperation is strong enough to change or discourage their toxic behavior.
9. The Most Terrifying Phrase
A narcissist thrives on self-doubt. They want you to feel unsure about your thoughts and memories
so that they can control the narrative of your life. For example, a narcissistic person might
pretend that an old argument didn’t happen, then call you crazy for believing otherwise.
This is often called gaslighting. It’s one of the most common forms of manipulation,
especially among narcissistic personalities. If you want to stop this toxic behavior in its
tracks, don’t hesitate to identify gaslighting the moment you hear it. Because the phrase,
“You’re gaslighting me,” will send many narcissists running for the hills.
10. Pump the Brakes Do you know someone who rushes you into making big
decisions? Narcissists commonly pressure people to make decisions quickly and impulsively. They want
you to think with your heart and ride waves of emotion instead of thinking clearly and carefully.
If you want to get the best of a narcissist, force them to slow down. Don’t allow them to
rush you into anything, and never make a decision a moment sooner than you want. This change of
pace will frustrate any narcissist you meet and leave them floundering for power and control.
11. Direct Confrontation Narcissistic people want
to cripple your self-worth. They want you to lose faith in yourself and your abilities. But,
if you take everything they say with a grain of salt, you can always find perspective, see through
their lies, and protect your sense of self. Here’s what you do. Next time they try to bring
you down, refuse to take any of their comments seriously. Tell them directly that you do not
care what they think. Once they realize they cannot control you, they’ll quickly
begin to change their tune. 12. Unbiased Intervention
Finally, if you want to put a narcissist in their place, add a third party to the
conversation. Narcissists perform best when they can isolate and target specific people, preying
on their weaknesses and vulnerabilities. They feel big and powerful in private, but in public,
they feel small and insecure. Around other people, their confidence dwindles, and their
manipulative tactics fall by the wayside. If you really want to throw a narcissist
off their game, find someone unbiased or professionally trained. Many narcissists
lose their nerve around healthcare professionals because they feel targeted and ashamed of their
toxic behavior. If you don’t have access to a healthcare professional, adding a good friend
to the mix can be helpful too. Introducing another voice may reduce their narcissistic tendencies and
stimulate a more constructive conversation. Thank you for watching TopThink and be
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