WE'RE BACK HERE-- YOU CAN KEEP TALKING AND-- HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE HERE WITH THE LOVELY AND TALENTED JULIE LOUIS-DREYFUS.
JULIA.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHILE YOU WERE IN AUSTRIA, DID YOU GET TO VIENNA
AT ALL?
THAT'S A LOVELY TOWN.
>> OH, MY GOSH, SO GORGE-- OKAY, SO I WENT TO THIS-- I'M GOING TO
BUTCHER THE NAME.
HAVE YOU BEEN TO I HAVE 18A.
>> Stephen: I HAVE.
>> YOU KNOW THE MAIN MUSEUM.
>> Stephen: YEAH, THAT ONE.
YOU DRINK ENOUGH BEER OVER THERE AND YOU CAN SAY THAT.
>> SO WE WENT THERE ANDY WOO GOT A LOVELY TOUR-- IF YOU EVER GET
A CHANCE TO GO TO THIS PARTICULAR MUSEUM, YOU MUST GRAB
IT.
>> Stephen: EVERYTHING IS SO GRAND OVER THERE.
>> OH, MY GOD!
AND THE COLLECTION IS MIND BLOWING.
>> Stephen: I LIKE TO SAY IT'S AS IF ROME FELL BUT NEVER
BURNED.
>> CORRECT.
>> Stephen: EVERYTHING IS IMPERIAL BUT NOT DESTROYED.
IT JUST NO LONGER HAS ANY POLITICAL POWER BEHIND IT.
>> CORRECT.
THIS GUY-- THIS WONDERFUL GENTLEMAN WAS TAKING US AROUND
AND HE TOLD THUS AMAZING STORY.
PRIOR TO OUR VISIT, VLADIMIR PUTIN HAD COME, AND THEY HAD
GIVEN HIM A PRIVATE TOUR.
HMMM...
>> Stephen: YES, YES, OKAY.
>> NOW, SHITELL YOU THAT ALL OVER THE MUSEUM, THEY HAVE THESE
GORGEOUS URNS FILLED WITH ORCHIDS AND LILIES AND ALL SORTS
OF-- AND IT'S VERY, VERY, YOU KNOW, VIENNESE LOOKING, OPULENT
AND GORGEOUS.
TURNS OUT VLADIMIR PUTIN DOESN'T LIKE FLOWERS OR THE SMELL OF
FLOWERS, SO THEY ALL HAD TO BE REMOVED FROM THE MUSEUM, OKAY.
THEN GET A LOAD OF THIS.
THEY-- THEY TOLD US THAT VLADIMIR PUTIN TRAVELS WITH HIS
OWN BATHROOM.
THAT THEY HAD TO SET UP OUTSIDE THE MUSEUM RIGHT IN FRONT SO
THAT IF HE NEEDED TO USE THE FACILITIES, HE HAD HIS OWN.
AND IT'S HIS VERY OWN PORTA POTTY THAT HE TRAVELS WITH ON
TE PLANE, AND HE USES IT ON THE PLANE, TOO.
>> Stephen: WOW!
>> LIKE, WE'RE ALL THAT INTERESTED IN HIS ( BLEEP ).
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
NO, BUT-- THAT'S COMPLETELY TRUE.
YEAH, CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS.
THAT'S WHAT I CALL THAT.
ANYWAY, IT'S KIND OF FREAKAZOID.
IT FEELS LIKE DR. EVIL.
>> Stephen: I THINK IT DOESN'T EVEN FEEL LIKE IT.
I THINK IT IS DR. EVIL.
>> I THINK IT IS, YEAH.
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU PROBABLY KNOW BECAUSE I'VE SAID IT TO YOU
MANY TIMES HOW MUCH I LOVE "VEEP."
>> OH, YES.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO A CONVERSATION WITH
"VEEP."
WE'VE ALL MOVED ON.
WOULD BE HARD TO DO THAT SHOW THIS DEEP INTO THE TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION BECAUSE THINGS ARE SO CRAZY IN REALITY.
>> ISRAEL, I MEAN, I-- YES.
I FEEL LIKE HE'S DOING A FAR SPEWERIOR VERSION OF OUR SHOW.
EXCEPT THAT IT'S NOT EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
>> IT'S DEADLY SERIOUS.
>> Stephen: SURE.
IT'S LIKE IF YOUR SHOW HAD THE TONE OF CHERNOBYL.
( LAUGHTER )
>> CORRECT.
>> Stephen: BUT ONE IS JUST A STEAMING DISASTER.
>> CORRECT.
THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.
I MISS IT, TOO.
IT WAS JUST GOBS OF FUN.
GOOD TIMES.
>> Stephen: VALENTINE'S, VALENTINE'S OF COURSE BEING THIS
WEEKEND.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
>> AND TO YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A VALENTINE OF YOUR OWN.
>> I DO.
>> Stephen: AND YOU POST OLD PHOTOS OF THE TWO OF YOU ON
VALENTINE'S.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND THIS IS LAST-- YOU YOU POSTED THIS LAST YEAR.
BUT THIS IS NOT OF LAST YEAR.
>> NO, IT'S NOT OF LAST YEAR.
>> Stephen: HOW MANY YEARS AGO IS THAT?
>> THAT IS 32 YEARS AGO.
OH!
AREN'T THEY CUTE?
( APPLAUSE )
>> YEAH.
YUP.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU GUYS CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY?
DO YOU DO A TRADITIONAL DINNER?
>> LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT VALENTINE'S DAY.
I DON'T REALLY DIG IT.
IT'S SORT OF LIKE NEW YEAR'S.
IT'S LIKE, "YOU MUST HAVE FUN!
YOU MUST STAY UP TILL MIDNIGHT."
AND VALENTINE'S DAY, "YOU MUST BE ROMANTIC!
YOU MUST MAKE LOVE TO YOUR PARTNER."
AND I JUST DON'T LIKE TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN?
( APPLAUSE )
SO I'M GOING TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM EVERY OTHER NIGHT EXCEPT
VALENTINE'S DAY.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> YEAH, HOW ABOUT THAT?
>> Stephen: GOOD LUCK.
( LAUGHTER )
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: TO ALL OF US.
I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR SOMETHING BEFORE YOU GO HERE
BECAUSE I HAVE A VERY PRECIOUS PRESENT HERE.
THIS IS-- I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO SEE WHAT
THIS IS.
YOU BROUGHT ME A JAR OF...
MARMALADE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: OKAY?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND IT SAYS RIGHT HERE, "WINTER 2020."
VERY GOOD YEAR.
>> VERY.
>> Stephen: HAND PICKED, HAND MADE BY JULIA AND BRAD.
>> YES, WE MADE IT!
>> Stephen: YOU MADE THIS MARMALADE AND BROUGHT ME SOME.
>> YES!
FOM OUR OWN ORANGE TREE.
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> YES, AND YOU GAVE ME ORANGE PEEL.
SO IT'S LIKE -- >> Stephen: I GAVE YOU CANDIED
ORANGE RIND AND YOU GAVE ME MARMALADE.
THANK YOU.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: I HAVE NO JOKE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS OTHER THAN
THE FACT I TRULY LOVE MARMALADE.
>> I'M SO GLAD.
ENJOY IT ON YOUR TOAST.
JULIA, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
A DELIGHT.
>> SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
WHAT A TREAT.
I LOVE IT.
I LOVE TO BE HERE.
I LOVE YA.
>> Stephen: IT ALL WORKED OUT FOR ME.
"DOWNHILL" IS IN THEATERS ON FRIDAY.
JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK