what do i do when a girl looks at me
that's the questions I get quite
frequently on my newsletter my name is
Stephan Erdman today we're going to be
answering this question with a number of
tips and tricks about how to actually
master that moment now first of all let
me say one thing it's not always as easy
as it sounds you know yeah of course the
girl looks at you and you should just be
able to look back and start talking to
her right but sometimes you're in
another world and you're focusing on
something else a little sudden you
notice you look up and there she is the
most beautiful girl looking straight at
you giving you eye contact what does it
mean right and then how do I react and
very often guys freak out and they kind
of lose control in a way and kind of
just look away on the ground or whatever
and then I worry of course about coming
across like they're too weak or not
alpha enough to take that moment and and
so it can often kind of lead to
embarrassment and then even though the
girl is giving signs and getting
frustrated while you're not doing
anything you might think oh my god I
screwed it up and you're embarrassed and
that's what I want to prevent going
forward ok so what first of all does it
mean when a girl looks at you well it
doesn't always mean that she's in love
with you and want your babies ok it
could just mean that her I just passed
through and boom it lands on you and you
have an interesting face or you wear
something interesting and she looked at
you for a second no she could be married
she could be in a relationship but she
just noticed you yeah that's one way she
could look at you because she finds you
interesting and she would like you to
speak to her yeah or you know she was
just bored and your face was there in
front of her or she might just be a
funny girl that is interesting another
people interested in other people's
faces yeah so at this stage nothing is
decided yet you don't know anything
there's no pressure either because hey I
don't know this is just another human
being that you potentially could have a
little moment we
I contact lies and that's a beautiful
thing okay so no pressure at this point
really it's when guys don't have any eye
contact with people in general
especially strangers that they really
freaked out because they don't use to it
because it feels kind of intense right
if you are just always in your own world
and all the sudden company looks at you
it's kind of exciting and then people
very often freaked out because they
think is nerves but they're feeling
rather than necessary maybe the
excitement of that connection so what
can you do to not freak out so much
every time well you can condition
yourself to get better at you know
enjoying an eye contact by doing what
well one quick tip is looking at
yourself in the mirror five minutes a
day for a while very often when we done
like eye contact it's because there's
something about us that we are not quite
comfortable with yet so looking at
yourself in the mirror and actually
giving yourself compliments I know it
sounds weird but it really helps so try
it out you'll notice amazing things
happening if you look yourself in the
eye in the mirror give yourself nice eye
contact and just first of all just enjoy
it relax breathe this seems to really
help in the process and you know if you
feel like it give yourself some
compliments like hey man you're looking
good today hey you might feel a lot
better in the process and you'll notice
some amazing changes about how you react
to other people looking at you tip
number one tip number two is this enjoy
I contact with strangers and other
situations for example shop assistants
they always great I love shop assistants
because I can use them to practice
anything there's no pressure but you can
actually rather than the usual of
nightmare here's more money yeah
whatever bye you know what people do it
in and you can be conscious in the
interaction and get real eye contact and
really look and add someone and really
listen to somebody and really enjoy the
interaction and have positive eye
contact with them okay now these are two
ways that you can really improve your
ability to kind of enjoy I or eye
contact or a contact boy contact yeah so
there's a couple of things you can use
to condition yourself now when the
moment actually happens remember it
doesn't mean anything yet okay it could
mean that she's interested in you a
little bit whatever so all you need to
do at this stage this is just realized
that this is a human moment of a little
bit of connection which is fun and
exciting because you know what we humans
like to have a little the connection
from time time and if it's a beautiful
moment even better this is exciting
doesn't make you nervous but it's
exciting remember that ok now we keep
conditioning already you feel a lot
better about it and you know you open to
it so enjoy it and when you feel
something in your stomach you know
that's great that's nice you might feel
something in other parts of your body as
well that's nice to enjoy it ok then
when a girl looks at you what are you
going to do look away look on the floor
no you're just going to look back and
then you're going to break into a little
smile ok hint of a smile once you can
then you have that control break into a
little smile one or two seconds hold it
and then she might look away and that's
cool or you can look away but look away
comfortably like okay I'm looking at you
I'm looking at you and I'm looking away
and I enjoyed the interaction don't look
away like this yeah like a lot of guys
do so it does look down but look
sideways ok and give her a chance to
break eye contact and then you can
always look back and then when she looks
like you again and you look at each
other twice she can be pretty confident
that she wants you to talk to her in
some way ok if you look at a girl and
she looks back twice and she doesn't
look like you know it could be pretty
confident that she would like you to
talk to her a little bit so it's a great
moment the second time around to start a
conversation with her like she's near
you that's really easy because if she
has a little of a smile on ur you might
just die
to say that's a nice smile what's your
name yeah it can be as easy as that now
I don't know we start with a compliment
but in this case that makes sense right
because you just reacting to it or you
could say you're very good at this eye
contact thing I think yeah for example
you're reacting to something that's
happening like right now you know and
that's a great way to start the
conversation so use the eye contact to
play with it I once walked past Robbie
Williams no Robbie Williams the singer
former take that and Dida at the time he
just done something stupid on TV and I
walked he came towards me and I walked
in this direction and when I saw him I
kind of back I got a big grin on my face
right and I was like yeah because I just
remember that stupid thing you did on TV
and the guys very confident very happy
in his own skin at the time and always
right he knows how to interact with
people and he's used to people reacting
to it in some ways so he goes that's a
pretty good smile you've got there and
I'm like thanks very much and that's how
we will pass each other yeah because I
had a big rid of my face yeah so that's
the kind of thing that you can use when
you have eye contact with a girl yeah
that's an easy way to start a
conversation anyway if she doesn't look
that great he just had to move moment of
eye contact if you don't want to start
the conversation great you still just a
little moment and you've just been a
friendly guy all you have to sell this
on when it comes to the eye contact the
first moment is I'm a social guy I don't
have a problem with people looking at me
and I'm happy looking back because I
like people in general that is the
general mindset and you can't go along
with eye contact specifically that first
contact you know so what do you do when
you go looks at you well you just look
back and you break into a little smaller
you give a little smile no matter who it
is acknowledge them and then you look
away and then you can always look back
again and if you like the girls and you
can start talking to right there in 10
simple right and if you'd like to learn
more about how to start the conversation
and make those first steps they get into
a conversation that really bomb to you
and it gets the girl to be attracted to
you and get excited about meeting up
with you again so that she will give you
her number then please go to approach at
will calm which is my website where i
share strategies to naturally start
conversations with women and get their
numbers so at that website you're going
to get a series of videos that will help
you massively if you've ever approach
anxiety if you've never known how to
start a conversation if you've never
known how to really think about the
process now even give you a complete
breakdown of a real-life situation when
i start the conversation with a girl
took a number and then actually phone
they're almost like a few seconds later
and took things from there and i break
that a little down step by step for you
so that you don't have to figure this
stuff out yourself over the next 10
years alright so check that out approach
at will calm should be here I see you
that and in the meantime if you like
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speak to you soon